Gift of RA

What Is Stubborn?

February 21, 2013

This is the post I have been working on since Feb 10th – In many ways it still feels as if it is still a work in progress. Isn’t that Life after all?

I ask the question because I have been reading Louise Hay’s book “You Can Heal Your Life” and many of the things I am looking at have stubborn as the cause. I don’t think of myself as stubborn – I check the dictionary and it says: Having or showing dogged determination not to change one’s attitude or position on something, esp. in spite of good arguments or reasons… Now is that really me? Let’s face it, I feel as if I have spent my whole life doing what others wanted, not always willingly or with good grace.

Am I really stubborn?

However, the more I have thought about it, the more I wonder if it has to do with seeing myself as a victim – of RA, other people, circumstances, etc. I have finally realized and understood that I have always felt I was an innocent victim sideswiped by RA for no reason – not quite accepted it or willing to admit it out loud much. I have felt helpless and powerless a lot of my life because I now realize I gave my power away. Who knew I had power? What a revelation! However, that victimhood belief has been in there for over 6 decades, going to take a while to dislodge and clear it out. If not now, when?

In looking at just one entry for knee problems, she writes it is “Stubborn ego and pride. Inability to bend. Fear. Inflexibility. Won’t give in.” I have been thinking I am not quite willing yet to actually give up being a victim – much too comfortable and familiar at this point. Then I have to ask myself “What would happen if I did let it go?”. That would be a radical attitude overhaul. Then what would I replace it with as a positive attitude? I have been in this same mentality for a long time, I am now on autopilot. It takes a conscious effort to say “Thanks for sharing ego, I choose something different”.

I am getting better at noticing when ego pops in with her 2 cents worth, I hadn’t recognized before or even understood what was happening. I have held on to all the hurts, anger and resentment of things people “did to me” – hugging them to myself as proof of what a victim I am and how mean people have been to me. As Dr. Phil asks: “How’s that working for you?”. Not very well. I don’t like feeling like a victim any more, it is too much of a powerless feeling now. The curse of being a good girl, following the rules and doing what I’m told. It is hard to break out of that at the moment, it is getting better and I am more often I have to look this one up as well able to do and say what I want.

So holding on to victimhood, all the hurts, anger and resentments – is that where I am stubborn? Or not loving myself in spite of all the evidence to the contrary? Looking at things from the negative view rather than the positive? At this point I am not sure if there is one definitive answer or a series of different answers. I am certainly open to any ideas or opinions to help clarify it. I have probably gotten too close to it and overanalyzing again. Maybe if I go take my shower and get dressed, it will seem clearer to me.

UPDATE

It is now 10 days later and it isn’t very clear yet. I also got a message about being inflexible – another word from Louise Hay – I don’t quite see how I am inflexible. It feels as if most of my life I have had to put my life on hold, cancel things or postpone because I had to do something for someone else. Wouldn’t being inflexible mean I do my thing before I do anything for anyone else? I have to go look this one up as well:

Not willing to change ideas, beliefs or decisions – Something or someone who is inflexible cannot or will not change or be altered, even if the situation changes. Does not bend.

Inflexible? Don’t be ridiculous!

Hmm, I keep thinking that doesn’t sound like me – I feel as if I am easily persuaded and let people talk me into something. When I know that I know something but I allow someone to talk me into something, I kick myself for not listening to my higher self. There are many times when I don’t trust my higher self, that I still look to others for validation instead of from inside myself.

I suspect that both terms have more to do with my beliefs about myself than anything else. I was hoping that as I thought about this and wrote about it, I would have a better idea what is happening so I can clear any negative energy and understand better. I suspect I will have to put it back on the back burner again and check back in a while. I would be open to any ideas or explanations. I suspect I am still too close to it to be objective.

Tags: Dr. Phil, Health, infexible, Louise Hay, stubborn, victim, victimhood, YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE
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War of the Moles

February 20, 2013

We have been having moles for a long time now, but I find I don’t have to do anything about them because my next door neighbor goes after them with a vengeance. She wants to be sure they don’t come into her lawn.

This is the latest one, it appear while she was on holiday. Since she didn’t see it right away, the soil has dried a bit. Usually they are a dark rich brown and certainly show up against the green lawn quite well. She has been digging down a bit, putting pellets down to kill them, then packing down the soil. Sometimes they come up next to recent hole, so it looks like this:

I noticed a couple of weeks ago by the drive were some tiny piles, as if the mamma was teaching her babies how to do it – some test holes to make sure they have the hang of it. Over by the street there were some that were a bit larger, I think the teenagers were practicing their skills. After all, what kind of parent doesn’t teacher their young the skills they will need for life.

There are times when I think the moles are oblivious to us humans, spending all that time underground makes the chances of encounters with humans slim to none. Wonder if they come above ground when it’s dark. To be honest, I don’t think I have ever seen a mole. So I decided to look it up on Wikipedia and this is what I found.

I have to say, a mole is an odd-looking creature – appealing and repelling at the same time. This is what I learned about this little mammal:

Moles are small cylindrical mammals adapted to a subterranean lifestyle. They have velvety fur; tiny or invisible ears and eyes;^{[clarification needed]} relatively atrophied hindlimbs; and short, powerful forelimbs with large paws oriented for digging. The term is especially and most properly used for the true moles, those of the Talpidae family in the order Soricomorpha found in most parts of North America,^[1] Asia, and Europe. It also refers to other completely unrelated mammals of Australia and southern Africawhich have also evolved the mole body plan; it is not commonly used for some talpids, such as desmans and shrew-moles, which do not fit the common definition of “mole”, as well.

I have to admit, I am intrigued by the “velvety fur”, but not enough to come face to face with one and hold in my hand..

Now there have been times in the past when my Mom has said we had voles, so I check out Wikipedia again to see the difference.

A vole is a small rodent resembling a mouse but with a stouter body, a shorter, hairy tail, a slightly rounder head, smaller ears and eyes, and differently formed molars (high-crowned and with angular cusps instead of low-crowned and with rounded cusps). There are approximately 155 species of voles. They are sometimes known as meadow mice or field mice in North America. Vole species form the subfamily Arvicolinae with the lemmings and the muskrats.

They are kind of cute and more a mouse while a mole is in the muskrat or shrew family. However, as I read more about them, now they don’t seem so cute.

They can have five to 10 litters per year.Gestation lasts for three weeks and the young voles reach sexual maturity in a month. As a result of this exponential growth, vole populations can grow very large within a very short period of time. Since litters average five to 10 young, a single pregnant vole can result in a hundred or more active voles in less than a year.

No wonder they multiply so quickly!

Hmmm, maybe those little piles were voles and not baby moles. However, reading a bit more , I learned something not too wonderful.

Voles will often eat succulent root systems and will burrow under plants or ground cover and eat away until the plant is dead. Bulbs in the ground are another favorite target for voles; their excellent burrowing and tunnelling give them access to sensitive areas without clear or early warning. The presence of large numbers of voles is often only identifiable after they have destroyed a number of plants. However, like other burrowing rodents, they also play beneficial roles, including dispersing nutrients throughout the upper soil layers.

Now we know why Mom’s yellow crocus didn’t come up after she planted them, no doubt some little burrowing animal enjoyed a lovely snack. Now why didn’t the creature eat the purple and the lavender ones, they keep coming up every year – no yellow. However, since our lawn is more dandelions than grass, I don’t get all hot and bothered about little piles of earth. It’s my neighbor who gets agitated because she wants to keep them from coming over and do a number on their little square of lawn. Actually, I find I find it rather entertaining.

Tags: bulbs, Mole, nature, velvety fur, vole, Wikipedia
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Happy Dance To Spanner In The Works

February 17, 2013

This week was not a happy dance week – we found out Wednesday our mortgage is on hold again – this time because of Fannie Mae. Seems there is a technicality that applies to us even though we didn’t buy the house.

If you buy a house, you can’t take out a loan until you have had the house for six months. Since it was September, we have to wait until the end of March for our loan to be started again. We could have just done a loan for the home equity amount and closed this month, but sure as I’m a foot high, we would never feel we could afford a kitchen remodel later. So it is waiting again.

This week especially has been putting together all the tax stuff for my appointment with our tax man. That also included Mom’s as well. I have spent this week putting things together and Friday I was here all day – by the evening I was so tired I went to bed about 8:30. I made the appointment for Saturday so Eddie would be free to go with me – no such luck. He was meeting a bunch of twitter geeks with the Marketing Director for the Future of Flight for a tour of the 737 factory in Renton. Now why would he prefer to do that than do taxes with me?

Monday I had a Roadshow up in Lynnwood with some of the suppliers I know. I will admit to feeling a bit adrift, I haven’t been able to do much with my business for the past 2 years. I felt almost a beginner, but I am glad I went.

Then in the afternoon I was asked to play bridge with the neighbor ladies again, this time down the hill at Mary Lou McCormick’s. Delores came to pick me up and we walked down – believe me, I went very slowly. At one point Delores told me to watch out for the speed bump; I said I wasn’t going fast enough to be concerned. they have a modern house – probably in the 50’s with a deck facing the water – they don’t have any trees to block any of the view.

Turns out they were one short, so Ralph joined us for the afternoon. It was not my day to have good cards, I ended up with the booby prize for the lowest score. I just enjoyed playing and being with the ladies. The day was a completely different set of things outside what I have been doing and I liked the break. I am definitely no threat to Omar Sharif.

Eddie and I even had an evening out – you might cal it early Valentine’s Day treat. My breakfast group had a social on Wednesday evening and we had a really good time – about 18 of us – members and spouses – and although it was a bit noisy, we all had fun. We took Debye – my massage therapist and very good friend – home since she was only across the parking lot. She was kidding she had to watch out not to run into cars as she walked home. The waiter offered to walk her home. Next morning she was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for my massage. Since Eddie and I went to bed a little while after we came home, I was feeling good as well.

This is me for the next week – yes, I had to put in a cat! Tomorrow is a holiday but Eddie is working, then taking off Tuesday. He wants me to go with him while he has his car serviced, I have to go to my rheumatologist for service. It’s either a 4 or 6 month check in. She hasn’t really changed my meds or what I am doing – according to her I am holding my own. We’ll see if she mentions Orencia on Tuesday.

Tomorrow is just for me, I don’t have to go anywhere and I have done everything necessary – Medicaid is done, taxes are done – no glitches I hope – nothing for the loan for a bit and things are calm at the moment. Almost to the end of the tunnel and I see daylight, not a train rushing toward me. At last, a few moments of peach and quiet. Next project is cleaning out the house – one bit at a time.

May this next week be calm and peaceful for everyone.

Tags: bridge, cat, Fannie Mae, Home equity, Loan, Valentine's Day
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A Little Shameless Self Promotion!

February 10, 2013

I have a blog post I am working on but have come to a standstill at the moment. However, I have started a new blog called Catless In Seattle. I came about by accident, I was commenting on another blog about cats and Russell asked if I had any cats. I said no, I am catless in Seattle – he thought it was a great blog title. I found myself creating a new blog and buying the domain name before anyone else did. I only have a couple of posts plus I reblogged 2 posts from Russell – he has Caturday every Saturday and it is hilarious.

The blog is in its early stages and I am not sure how it will develop, it is fun and these days I am all about fun. I am open to suggestions, critique and ideas.

Tags: cats, fun, Pets, Seattle, self promotion
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Happy Dance!!!!!!!!

February 7, 2013

I just talked to the case manager for Mom’s Medicaid and it now official – she is approved! After all the paperwork since the end of October, all the figuring how to meet all the requirements and most of all the help from Dave Mom’s attorney, it is finally a reality. I think I have been uptight and tense about this and didn’t think I could relax until it was official.

Life for the past few months has been a series of people wanting paperwork. First it was Providence to enroll Mom in their PACE program – there was a list of things they wanted me to provide, then after 6 weeks she was accepted – more papers to sign. Then it was the beginning of Medicaid and also a loan for the house to pay off the home equity loan as well as money to redo the kitchen. That went on hold until Medicaid was satisfied, now it is back in the works. I am hoping the papers will be ready to sign in the next week or 2.

While that was happening, I had a last-minute presentation for Breakfast Club. I was due to present on the 20th, but the fellow scheduled for today wasn’t going to be there and Carol asked if I would do it. I already had an idea of what I was going to talk about, but I had to write it and get my samples ready to hand out. Along with all of that, I have been getting things ready for taxes – the appointment is on the 16th. The presentation is done and I think I just have to deal with the tax stuff.

So the theory is I have time enough to do tax stuff and maybe finally getting back to writing my blog regularly again. I have missed it and find myself doing something and suddenly think about something that would make a good blog post. Of course, when I come to write, I can’t remember the brilliant things I thought about at the time. Rats!!!!

I have been going to visit my Mom about twice a week. Last Friday I was due to pick her up about 11 so we could go to lunch and then have haircuts. When I got there, she was still in her robe and nightie – she had refused to wash or dress or do anything to be ready. I wondered why her curtains were closed and her bedroom door also closed. I wondered if she had gone back to sleep after breakfast. So I went in and I was remembering one thing Kathy had told me – always give her a choice. I sat and talked to her see what was happening. I told her she didn’t have to have her hair cut that day, I would arrange it for another day; I also said I was going because I needed a hair cut. She decided she would wash and get dressed and go with me.

We didn’t have time for lunch, just a haircut; Mom went first and decided to keep it long. Then it was my turn. When we finished, she said she wanted to go home. When I pulled in the drive at her home, she seemed disappointed – I think she thought we were coming here. Since she hadn’t had lunch, Judy fixed some for her and I left shortly after that – I was hungry since I didn’t have lunch either.

They had tried a new med and so far it keeps her awake at night and she sleeps during the day. Judy and Didi are working with the Center to find a solution. Mom’s doctor and the nurse and others at the Center are also looking for a solution. Apparently she sleeps well the days she goes to the Center – she is exhausted when she comes back. They are looking in to having Mom go a third day – has to go through channels. She didn’t go on Monday because she refused to get washed and dressed.

As for me, I have finally rested enough to sleep. I go to bed around 9 or 9:30 at night and wake up around 8 or 9. When I have to get up early, I wonder if I will wake up in time. So far it has worked out fine. I am sleeping all night and usually comfortably – I do have times when I am too uncomfortable to sleep, it is getting better.

Last week I took a photo album that Dad made of Mom’s family. There was a suggestion that would be something she would enjoy. It was in an album that Kathryn (Mom’s step mother) gave them and Dad labeled the picture – thank goodness. So we sat on her bed and I described the pictures and read the names; she really enjoyed that. She wanted to know if she could keep it and said absolutely! When I came back the next time Jan told me she was so pleased with the book and was saying it was all her relatives.

She has up and down days – now she calls everyone Elizabeth. My sister Ellen called on the Saturday I went to see her and Mom said Elizabeth had called that morning. She also introduced me as her cousin Betty one day – I am learning to go with the flow. Sometimes I wonder what is going on inside her brain, other times I’m not sure I want to know. Reminds me of having the same curiosity about the cats – except I realized I definitely didn’t want to know what the cat was thinking.

Tags: applications, forms, Medicaid
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Oh Goody, Rain and Dark

January 30, 2013

This is Wednesday, the day I go to my networking breakfast group. We meet at 7:30 for breakfast and have a 30 second commercial, then a 5 minute speaker and a 15 minute speaker. I am scheduled for a 15 minute in 3 weeks, then Carol asked if I would do it next week because Dick won’t be there – now why would he want to miss breakfast just to celebrate his 40th wedding anniversary with his wife?

Eddie woke me up at 5:15, just before he left to volunteer at the Boeing Archives. By the time I was ready to go, it was 0 dark thirty and not only dark, but raining too. Not my favorite combination. Fortunately it wasn’t a hard rain, plus I noticed in the light of my little LED flashlight I could see the rain – like little lighted pins or thin rods that have rainbow colors. I would like to stand still and study it, but I had to go – plus I would have gotten wet. So I left for breakfast and was glad it wasn’t a torrential rain in the dark – been there, done that, don’t like it.

I remember a day in the 80’s when I was doing speeches for the Connecticut Chapter of the Arthritis Foundation. It was a school and I wasn’t sure what to say to the kids, so I decided to think of it from their experiences. It was during daylight and I had not been there before, so I was trying to find my way in the downpour where I could hardly see through the windshield. The wipers weren’t doing a whole lot for me, but it would have been worse if I didn’t have them going.

I will say that all of us are so glad the fog is gone, there isn’t that feeling of the ceiling slowly coming down on me, almost squishing me as it comes close to the ground. The air had gotten very stagnant, so there was a burn ban – now we can have a fire and the air is a lot cleaner. We have even seen some sun, sometimes bits of it here and there, some times a whole morning or afternoon.

When I was out last Friday the sun went in and out of the clouds, one of those times when the clouds were snowy white to dark and all the values in between. It was amazing, I wish I could have used my camera, but I needed to keep my eye on the road. If we have sun and clouds, I rather have the puffy ones where the sun goes in and out than have it look hazy.

It is always amazing to see the rain come across Puget Sound from the West, over the olympic Mountains to us – then goes into the mountains and becomes snow and really bad weather as it makes it way east. Sometimes we see big black clouds, sometimes they are grey and some have that “I’m going to dump on you” look. Other times it looks like fog coming across the water, until the rain drops hit our big west-facing windows. If the wind is strong, it will make those big windows rattle.

It’s been more of a toolie rain today that hard or downpour – but you will get wet is you stay out in it. When they say there is a 60% chance of rain, I usually say you will only get 60% wet. That’s the thing about Seattle, we have all kinds of rain – from spit to mist to drizzle to real rain to hard rain to downpour. Some days it doesn’t do anything, just is cloudy and sulks. It’s not true it takes 6 months to acquire web feet here, it only takes 2 or 3. Actually, I tell people it rains all day every day here so they won’t come here to live. I remember saying that all the time I lived away from here.

I lived away from here for 34 years and I so missed the rain and the green. I missed a large body of salt water and proper mountains, Northern Virginia had 3 mountain ranges but they were bumps on the landscape next to the Olympics. It was hard to be in For Wayne and Atlanta where there weren’t any mountains and in Atlanta Lake Lanier was just a squiggly man-made lake – no body of salt water. Felt a little landlocked in some places. Really made me appreciate the Pacific Northwest and Washington (the real one).

I will take rain drops over the flakes and the icy stuff any day.

Tags: Breakfast, Flashlight, Olympic Mountains, Puget Sound, Rain, Seattle
Posted in Musings | 4 Comments »

Is It Pain?

January 27, 2013

Interesting day Friday. I went up with my other half at o dark 30 because my friend Char was having a birthday lunch in Edmonds and it seemed silly to take two cars up the same direction. I stayed at the Future of Flight until about 9:30 – I found my little terrace upstairs by the entrance to the Stratodeck – almost said hollow deck. It is warm and plenty of light plus fairly quiet. I read my book because my hands, wrist and shoulders have been very uncomfortable because I have spent a lot of time on the computer working on my blogs. I have giftofra.com and now I made a new one called catlessinseattle.com – one is about finding the gift in Rheumatoid Arthritis and the other is about cats. I planned to write about my two cats Muffet and Tiger, about my Mom’s cat Josephine and also about a friend’s cat Subaru.

It was probably a good day to up north so I wouldn’t be writing on my blog or using the computer very much. I went to three stores and walked quite a bit – oh were my knees, ankles and feet sore and uncomfortable. I was glad to sit in the car for a while. I was really stiff when I got to the restaurant, but I had a different thought about it. I had been listening to Dr. Pat and she had some people on who are doing a 5 day workshop – running the bars and then other things for the other 4 days. I would love to go, unfortunately it is a bit spendy .

One of the people talking was Ricky Williams, a well-known football player who talked about when he was playing. He would be in pain in practice as well as playing, so he was taking pain killers a lot of the time. What he finally realized was that he labeled it pain, locking in the idea that it is pain. It was the idea that “I have pain, what can I do to get rid of it” thinking. Then he changed is thinking to “What is my body telling me it needs?”. Pain is your unwillingness to listen to your body. Words are powerful and thinking in terms of intensity of change which you asked it to do, your body is stretching, changing and elongating to create what you asked it to do.

So I thought about that as I was driving to Edmonds to meet Char and Joyce. I had to concentrate because I have spent the last 42 years thinking “Pain, how do I get rid of it” and certainly feeling a victim and many cases of oh-poor-me-osis. Now I realize I have implanted in my mind. Takes some getting used to, so now I realize I have not been listening to my body at all. I will admit I was very uncomfortable all day and evening, sometimes a new way of thinking takes some time.

I had gone up with Eddie and I was glad he was driving, I think I slept most of the way home.

I had a lovely time with Char and Joyce – though I still let Char know she is a year older than I am. Actually, for 13 days we are same age. That’s only because I went to school a year earlier that every one else when we moved to Seattle. Mom and Dad say that I made so much fuss when I saw Ellen go on the bus to school to see where she went, they finally allowed me to go to. Everyone in my graduating class was a year older. But I would have missed out in knowing Char in 9th grade. Who knows how my life would have gone if I had been in school with people my own age.

Yesterday I was amazed at how well I felt – not much discomfort, though walking through a couple of stores did make my legs hurt a bit. I will admit to taking an extra prednisone when we had dinner, plus some Advil before bed. I had wondered how I would be today because usually the second day is the worst. A little stiff but otherwise doing rather well.

Since I didn’t visit Mom on Friday afternoon, I went yesterday while Eddie was doing the laundry. She was doing pretty well, she said Elizabeth called earlier. When I was talking to Judy, she said she calls everyone Elizabeth. Interesting because that is my legal name. Yet on Tuesday she wanted to introduce me to Judy and said I was her cousin Betty. I have finally realized correcting her just agitates her and it really doesn’t matter. So for a bit I was Betty.

Tags: Health, Muffet, rheumatoid arthritis, Ricky Williams, Seattle, Thought
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Smothered Under a Blanket

January 20, 2013

Seattle has a bad habit of having bouts of fog – mostly in December around Christmas when we used to spend Christmas here. We seemed to have liked out several times – it was clear when we arrived, then the fog clamped down for at least two weeks. All those people stuck in airports trying to travel. Then the day before we left the sun would come out and all was clear. Now in January it has been so foggy since last Sunday – I think, it has hung around so long I can’t quite remember. This time it has had an added element – heavy frost. Fortunately I have been able to go places later in the morning so it has worked okay. If it is really bad, I stay home.

It seems the fog won’t lift, just hangs around and at times it feels as if several houses in the neighborhood ( those I can see) are on a small island with us and no one ale is there. An odd feeling. There are days when the Sound and Vashon along with the other islands are not there, we live on a very high peak that is a straight drop down. Other times it looks as if there are no islands, just the ocean out there.

Friday was a very interesting morning. I went up to the Future of Flight with Eddie because later he was to visit a place where he will do a presentation next month. It seemed silly for him to come back down here and then go to the place, so I went up with him. I took my journal and my books so I could write and read.

We found everything covered in fog and some slippy slidey areas but not bad for us. But as we drove up we seem to have found pockets of high fog or clouds and thought it wouldn’t be too bad up north. We stopped at Panera at Alderwood Mall and as Eddie turned the corner, he could feel the car slide a bit. I didn’t notice it and since the black top was black, I thought it was fine. I soon found out how slippy slidey it was because I was sliding on the pavement almost every step – it scared me a lot. I had to hold on to Eddie and even then I was slipping around.

After a lovely breakfast we came out, I had forgotten my trip in and realized I had to it again, only this time with a downhill. Eddie held on to me and when we got to the downhill, I had him be in front of me and I held to his shoulders. We walked very slowly – very hard for him, never seen anyone cover ground as fast as he does). So I had to tell him to slow down. I made back to the car in one piece without mishap but I don’t if I could have by myself.

When we got to the Future of Flight, everything was white with frost. Eddie took me up to the back door , close to the building it was bare and wet. then he took the car to his parking space. He showed me a place on the balcony that was warm and quiet, so I spent most of my time there. And I finally started my journal on exploring RA, then read for a while. Afterwards I went down to visit with the Friday morning volunteers.

We needed to leave around 11, so I hit the pit stop and Eddie picked me up at the front door. The most astounding thing was to see the sunshine and blue sky at times. When we left it was sunny, but down the road it was fogged in. Never know what it will be like in any given place. In some places the fog was higher but not really gone, there were clouds above. Yesterday was as bad though, most places had high fog. As I am sitting here this afternoon writing this, there is sunshine – who’d a thunk it?

It often seems the weather gets into a rut – rains every day, fog for more than a week, even sun for 2 months! That was really weird for us. Unfortunately there is a burn ban now so we can’t use the fireplace – we need some rain to help all this. Imagine someone in Seattle wanting rain! You need to be a bit odd to enjoy living here.

The only reason I knew the ferries were running was because I heard their fog horns. I would hate to be a captain navigating through the fog with all the traffic on the Sound. No doubt they have great radar, otherwise we would hear the crash and crunch as they ran into each other.

Tags: ferries, fog, foggy, navigating, Seattle
Posted in Musings | 4 Comments »

I am in awe of the frost

January 17, 2013

We had a very thick frost yesterday morning but I didn’t know it was there until I left the house at o dark thirty for Breakfast Club. At this time of the year it is dark as a pocket until about 7 or 7:30, so I wasn’t quite sure how things would be when I left early. Eddie did tell me there was frost and to be very careful. So I got ready to go, got out my trusty pocket LED flashlight I carry in my purse and set out. One of my many samples – it’s good to be a Promotional Advisor, so many lovely samples. I turn on the flashlight when I turn off the kitchen light – it is across the room from the back door. So there I was with just a flashlight, looking as if I am up to something nefarious. I locked the door and that’s another place the flashlight is handy. As I was going down the porch, I didn’t see much of anything, and the sidewalk was fine for a few steps. Then I saw the frost and thought it wasn’t as bad as Eddie had said. But what I noticed when I came to frost on the walk, was how it sparkled, like tiny diamonds. As I went further down there was more and more, and I saw the sparkles in the grass with white all around the blades. It was also damn cold!

As I backed out of the drive and turned into the street, I noticed the street was completely white. Now that was where I really had to watch it! It was also gorgeous as well. I could hear the crunch of the tires on the frost – it is so much like snow when it is fresh. When I got to the end of the street I had to make a fast left turn up the Top of a steep hill. Fortunately, someone had put thin ribbons of deicer or something on the street, so it wasn’t slick. Let me tell, doing the fast left turn with everything covered in snow is not that easy – it has kept many a driver on our street from getting out to the road. Anytime it snows, I do not go anywhere – after getting stuck on a hill twice in the snow, there is nothing that important that requires me to go out in it.

I had a few slopes, then up a steep hill and down the other side to get out to main road. Those ribbons made navigating the hills no problem. I had no trouble getting to the freeway, the cars had melted the frost so it was bare. When I got off in Kent, wow! There was a stretch of road I thought would be bare and wet, but it was white and as I was driving it looked as if it had snowed, the cars in the dealership were really covered with frost. Then shortly after I had gone farther down, the road was clear again. I wish I could have seen the frost in the day light, but there was also fog, so it was quite awhile before there was any sun and by then most of the frost was gone.

I know there are many people around the country and the world who are having a lot worse weather than we are. I was amazed I was so focused on how beautiful it was that I didn’t really think about being afraid of driving. I had that feeling this morning in the shower, I just felt so good with the hot water falling on me, warming me up and relaxing me. I could spend a long time in the shower – actually spent 35 minutes one morning in rehab. I was doing pretty well at that time and I could get out of the wheel chair and go into the walk in shower. Katrina told I could do my own washing on the bench and she had someone else in the other shower. I was enjoying the water and being clean again – only 2 showers a week. I am used to having a shower every day. I did pretty well, though every once in a while, she would call across the room “Are you washing?”. They were all like mother hens there, they took such good care of me and everyone else. They kept kidding me about wanting to spend time in the hot shower, so this particular morning I got spend more time than usual. So they had a great laugh about it and later when I went to breakfast, some residents were talking about someone who took a 35 minute shower. Sometimes it doesn’t take much to make me happy.

Now I find I am becoming more aware of what is around me, enjoying the moment and what I notice. It is definitely something I want to do more of and be more in the moment. I have spent too many decades focusing on what hurts or what I don’t have that I have taken all the blessing I have for granted.

I wanted to find photos of things that were similar to what I saw but I couldn’t find it. We had frost again this morning with fog, not as thick and I didn’t stop to take pictures because I had to get to my doc. (Good report – he doesn’t want to see me for 3 months. The longer between appointments means I am doing well.)

Tags: appreciation, Awareness, Frost, Shower, Snow
Posted in Musings | Leave a Comment »

Time for some “Awww” and “Cute!”

January 16, 2013

I was checking out Facebook the other day and came across some wonderful photos. They are from Linzse at https://www.flickr.com/photos/linzse/5279916483/ Thank You Linzse. I was feeling a bit low and decided this is a good time to write a post. I found the photos on Little Red Bird Facebook, I am so grateful to find this site. You know how much I love cats, but since I received Bunny last year in rehab, I have more of an affinity for rabbits. So I found some cute bunnies and cats that made me smile and want to cuddle them.

If that doesn’t give you the warm fuzzes, I can think of some other photos I found. I heard a joke today I had forgotten about. Two older ladies were driving and the passenger saw a red light coming, but they went right through it. There was another red stop light which they went through. When they approach another red light, once again they went right through. she finally turned to her friend and said “Mildred, didn’t you see the red lights?”. To which Mildred replied “Oh, am I driving?”

I noticed as I was writing this post that they had recommendations for a related site, so I thought I would add them as well. I am learning new things on WordPress and it is really interesting what can be done on my blog.

Daily Awww: Kitty cat cuteness (22 photos) (theberry.com)

It’s interesting how this blog works, sometimes it doesn’t make any sense. I was trying to put three photos across the page and it looks great in the composing phase; looks a whole lot different on the blog. I finally figured out that the composing area is a lot wider than the blog you see on the site, no wonder it doesn’t quite fit. I have tried several times to make it look nice, but it isn’t quite how I want it to look. so I will have to play around with it in another post and see what it takes to look the way I envision it in my mind. I have decided that frustration and working at it trying different things often helps me figure it out – sometimes it takes several sessions and some simmering the back burner.

Enjoy the cats and bunnies – I feel better now.

Tags: aww, bunnies, cats, cute, Pets, WordPress
Posted in Emotions | 2 Comments »

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