Posts Tagged ‘sisters’

The Rest of The Story

October 5, 2014

I didn’t write my sisters about Wednesday until the next day – I needed to digest it for a bit first.  I also needed to meet Mom at the Center to take her for a haircut.  Last time she was fast asleep through all of it, not this time.  She was sleepy and holding on to her plush lion, but she was a bit more with it.

Lisa put the plastic shield around Mom and the lion so Mom would have something to hold.  She wasn’t all that happy about having it washed, I had to put a towel around her forehead because the headpiece let water run down into her face.  She didn’t like the shampoo – at one point tried to bite Lisa.  Unfortunately she wasn’t able to really get her hair clean because Mom was so feisty.  She cut Mom’s hair and then put her under the dryer to dry it as much as she could.  Mom was not happy under the dryer, I was sitting next to her and put my hand on her arm and let it know it was all right.  Then she held my hand while the dryer was going, at times she got agitated and I just told her it’s fine.

Lisa fluffed her hair some – interesting to see the back curly and the front very straight.  She said it happens with geriatric patients, some parts will curl, others won’t.  Certainly Mom was glad it was over.  I took her back upstairs to get ready for lunch.

I asked Sherry, the receptionist, if it was possible to see Dr. Myre, I wanted to collect my hug.  Instead of phoning, she must have written an email because Dr. Myre came out quite quickly.  Not only did I get one hug, I had several strong ones from her.  She  is very comforting and understanding – I, of course got teary and drippy.  Seems to be the case a lot lately.  She said I was doing a great job being there for my Mom and it helped to hear that.  Many of my friends and my sisters have continually told me that – it is good to hear since the old “beat myself up” program keeps intruding.  It says I haven’t done it perfectly and not done all I could – that voice will always tell me I didn’t do it perfectly or enough.  So I am learning to  release the need for that and to know I am enough.

I left and went to see my acupuncturist because I felt the sore, scratchy throat starting again. Probably would have been smart to go Tuesday and nip it in the bud.  I made an appointment for Friday as well.  Seems as if lately everything is coming at once, with not much time in between to regain my balance.  I’m not sure it is supposed to come in separate intervals.  When I worked in department store, it was either everyone came at once or it was very quiet.

Friday I went to visit Mom, I wondered if she would be wiped out after the haircut.  She was fast asleep in ned, holding on to the weighted baby doll Char gave to Mom.  Judy said she likes to have something to hold, keeps her hands occupied.  I didn’t want to wake her up, but I did tell her I love her and that Ellen and Candy send their love.  I knew I would get too teary if I stayed much longer, so I left and headed over for my acupuncture appointment.

It’s been an odd week, Eddie was home Wednesday because the archives were closed and he wanted to get another shirt from the Car Museum.  I went to Breakfast Club, then came home because I had to work on an order for calculators.  He assumed I would come with him and seemed a disappointed I didn’t.  The Friday he had the day off because he was going to go to the venue for the PNAA Defense Conference to show Lisa the layout.  I  didn’t get home until after 1, he wanted to know what kept me.  Trouble is, he assumes when he takes a day off, I am available to play.  I usually have been but now with new things going on, it isn’t possible and he has to adjust.  Funny how things change, then change again.

We also have been sleeping in separate rooms for the past 3 weeks or so.  He had a bad cold and didn’t want to give it to me, then I had the coming down with something – neither wanted to give it to the other.  Friday we finally got together again, though we are being careful because we don’t really know if either of us is contagious or not.

I also wrote an email to the Northwest Schooner Society to see if they were interested in the models and Dad’s old wood working tools.  I had a nice email and Kitty wrote back saying they would be very interested.  I email pictures and she said they were gorgeous.  So now we are working on a day for her and her helpers to come and pick things up. I told her the box may be a bit heavy, that I would check with my next door neighbor to see if they would be around to help.  They are a young, just married couple living in the lower level of Bob and Delores’s house – Cameron is their grandson – I think their son Jerry’s son – and his wife Kika.  We saw them last night – they were locked out and came for the key – and they are willing, it just depends on when.

Plus my radio show – I have 2 guests lined up and working on a third.  Still no sponsors but I have given a couple of people the information.  I am getting ready to publish my website for the show – it will be rough and needs refining.

Otherwise, not much has been happening here.

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Life With Mom

October 4, 2014

Thursday I sent my two sister and a close friend this email:

Late yesterday afternoon, Mom’s doctor called.  She said that Mom was about to turn a corner into the last stages of dementia.  She said Mom has lost weight, isn’t really interested in eating and she had two spots beginning on her bottom.  Not wanting to eat and losing weight means she doesn’t have her systems working very well, so making sure she doesn’t get sores will be a big priority.

 She will continue to go to the Center for as long as it benefits her, then they will have to have another doctor see her at the home.  Just because of distance.  She wanted to ask if I would like to have Comfort Care for Mom from now on.  It is their hospice type of care.  It means it will be easier for Judy and Didi so that went something happens, they don’t have to call 911.  There will be people to come and decide what works best for Mom – it is for the times when the Center isn’t open.
Dr. Myre said she couldn’t predict how long, especially since Mom is still strong.  It could be 6 months, it could be more.  She said Mom’s brain isn’t connecting to her body very well – she probably won’t be walking any more and at some point she will be bedridden.  She has noticed Mom has declined a lot – I’ve noticed it the last 2 or 3 weeks.
 I went to see Mom on Monday, but she was very sleepy and a bit cranky, so I didn’t stay.  Last Friday she spoke so softly I couldn’t hear her and she was very sleepy.  I went in the afternoon because Judy thought she might be more awake in the afternoon.  When I come in the morning she has had her meds and right about then, they kick in.  She also doesn’t seem to know me, so that may be how it will be from now on.
 I am going up to the Center today to take Mom downstairs for a haircut.  Dr. Myre said she didn’t like telling me over the phone about it and if I had been there she would have given me a hug.  I said I would be there today, I will collect my hug.
I am trying to wrap my head around this and it may take a while.  I have wanted her to let go and make the transition; but now that it seems much closer, I’m not sure what I am thinking and feeling.
I received answers from all three.  This from my younger sister:
It’s hard. Yet Mom has been ready to go for a long time. A geriatric doctor friend says that when they stop eating, it’s a sign they are ready to let go of life. Palliative care (Comfort Care) is a very wonderful thing. They are focused on making Mom comfortable, and helping the entire family deal with the transition as the patient enters Hospice Care. Hospice (and Medicare coverage) begins (according to Dr. Jeannie) when the patient cannot walk, talk, or feed herself. You will have a dedicated team available there to see Mom through this. 

You have already created a stellar safety net to take Mom through the final stages of life. Hospice care opens more resources for Mom, and for you. It is also totally covered by Medicare, freeing you to focus on walking with Mom through this process of releasing. Hospice people are great, so take advantage of the things they offer. They know so much about this part of the process and are deeply tuned into the spiritual aspects of dying, as well as the practical physical aspects. 
It is very disorienting to see someone so powerful in our lives become so weak, and to disappear as the dementia progresses. At the same time, there is a strange liberation, because all the old rules don’t seem to apply any more. 
This transition time is not only about Mom making her exit from the planet. It is an opportunity for all of her children to be “born again” and reinvent our lives. The life we knew is dying, but new life is continually being born. 
And from my older sister:
Thanks for keeping me informed. Candy, your thoughts are so healing and such a help. Yes, reinvent ourselves. Love, E
And from Char, who has been through this with her Mom:
Thanks for the update on your mom.  I’m frankly not too surprised (having been down this road before), but I know it’s hard.  Do make sure they keep after those sores; no sense making her uncomfortable, if you can help it.  My mom had those, too, but of course she was bedridden for quite a long time before she died–as in about 4 years–so it wasn’t to surprising.  However, the fact that your mom is losing weight can mean not only disinterest in food but a gradual slowing down of organs, tummy not as able to absorb nutrients, etc.  Be prepared–there may come a point when she refuses to eat at all, and that will be her choice, but it’s hard to deal with.  
 
I think Comfort Care is an excellent idea; we had that for my mom, too, and it really does help.  They can help you anticipate the changes you will see from now on, and that will help you be somewhat prepared.
 
I thought your mom had declined quite a bit since the last time I had seen her, but it had been several months, so that wasn’t too surprising, really.  When you see someone frequently, the changes seem much more gradual.
 
I hope you collected that hug!  If I were there, I would give you one, too, although today you probably wouldn’t want me to–overnight I have developed a full-blown head cold!!  It started with a sore throat yesterday, and BOOM! here it is…..sniffing, dripping, sneezing, etc.  I took a Claritin, and that has helped a little, but not enough! 
Believe me, I am so glad I have begun to ask for help and let others know what is happening.  I have been glad I don’t have to do it by myself.  Plus, when I have opened up to other people, I have been amazed to find so many others with the same kind of situation.  Even so, it isn’t a cakewalk.
To be continued . . . . . . . . . . .

In This Moment

September 26, 2014

It has not been the easiest week I have had, so I am working on seeing where the gifts are in it.  It may take some more time and more work to take the emotion out of it before the gifts become clear.

I have had that “coming down with something” feeling all week.  When I had such a dry throat into Wednesday morning, I knew I needed to go see Cindy for some acupuncture to nip it in the bud.  I went to Breakfast Club in the morning, felt as if I hadn’t been there for several weeks.  Then I went to visit Mom – not a good day.  It was her 96th birthday.  As I wrote in an email to my two sisters and my good friend Char:

Mom didn’t know who I was and told me to go away.  I know it’s not personal, even so, it still hurts and it is hard not to take it personally.  I took her an apple pie and brownies for the house; also gave her the maple sugar candy from Ellen.  It didn’t register.  I’m still looking at it personally and emotionally; working on the objectivity part – slow going.  I am not even sure what I am feeling beyond upset.  I probably need time  to let it simmer on the back burner, maybe I can put it in words for myself.

My older sister  sent this :

Happy birthday to Mom, though she may not know it; we do. Just read Lee’s post from Sunday, and even at this distance it’s a “sucker punch to the stomach” to hear about her. I’m so glad Char, who knows, was there with you, Lee. Still, we honor her for all she did in her earlier life, how much she gave to us, and whatever may be happening with her now in the “thin places.” My love to you both, her other daughters.

Later after the  Wednesday email, my younger sister had this to say:

My last verbal contact with Mom was on my birthday a year ago. I called, and she was having a bad day, and yelled at me and hung up the phone. I had only just gotten long distance back (long story, no need to elaborate) and felt glad that I could call her after not being able to for a couple of months. 

It was a strange gift. Mom always said when we had our Sunday phone conversations when she knew she was heading into the thin places, “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be okay.” And I told her, as things got dimmer, “It’s okay for you to go, Mom. Don’t worry about us, we’ll be okay and we’ll see you on the other side.” When she yelled and hung up, I felt she was giving me permission to stop trying so hard, and to let her go on a new level. It was out of my power and control. 
It’s a new moon in Libra today, and a day of new beginnings. As Ellen said (and Daddy, too) we must put this ending/new beginning in God’s hands now. For some reason, this is how Mom needs to make her transition. She’s saying goodbye and releasing her worries about us (she worried all the time) and releasing us, and releasing all definitions of who she was, except that she is more than what she is right now. She’s letting go of all boundaries and restrictions even as the circle of her human body becomes smaller and smaller, more diminished with each day that passes.  It is the only way she can do this now, to sink into the dementia and into eventual rest. 
Lee, it’s the hardest place, to be there and see and feel it, and I know you have such a tender heart. But in God’s hands, it is not personal or a rejection of you. Or of any of us. 
It is a liberation. If she cannot remember, if she must be in that other world where we cannot follow (at this time) she needs that space, as Ruth, not as a our mother, or any role she played in life. She’s getting ready for the next life, entering a “womb.” She is giving us permission to release her, and to be who we are meant to become in the years after she passes. The strange gifts of mortality. 
Just take it slow, be easy on yourself, know you have done your best, and allow the mystery of this strange “permission” to go on with your own life to enter your heart. Good days might happen again. Bad days, too. Like weather, let it be what it is, and know that it’s not in your control, you’re not responsible for it, and you do not have to fix it or live up to some heroic task. It’s a hero’s journey to be there in the process, and I love you for it, and pray for you. 
It’s a long goodbye, but the same kind of goodbye we had to say to Daddy. He went quickly, Mom needed a longer journey (perhaps because, as much as she wanted to go be with Daddy, she had a hard time really letting go of us). Soul work is mystery at this stage, and your great gift is being present, even when there is nothing you can give or do any more. You got her into a safe place for this stage of the journey, and are watching over her as best you can. Ellen and I can only be present in prayer and meditation. 
Mom knows you’re there, that we care. She just needs to let go of life (and us) in her own way. In many ways, it’s permission to acknowledge that even when Mom was here in full mind and strength, there were many things we were unable to share with her, many ways we could not reach her, and many ways that only the soul’s relationship to itself will satisfy. 
My older sister wrote in response:
Just wanted to say thanks for the things you wrote yesterday. One thing especially was very helpful to me: the idea that Mom has always been so attached to us, worried for us, that it may be quite difficult to let go of her children. We none of us can deeply understand that.
Then I had an email from Char, who has been through it with her Mom:
You are right, it’s not personal, and you have to keep reminding yourself of that.  Not always easy to do.  Fortunately, you have 67 years of knowing your mom loves you, and that hasn’t changed–she still does, it’s just that she sometimes doesn’t remember that.  You have to remember it for her, I guess.
 
I remember when my mom was going thru this….with her, the big issue was that she couldn’t talk, and that was so frustrating!!  Not just from the standpoint of not being able to hold a conversation, but also from that of just not hearing her voice At All…..Sometimes I would forget what it sounded like.
 
I’m sure you may have heard the story about the elderly man who went to see his wife, in an Alzheimer’s care facility, every day, and someone asking him why he kept going, since she no longer remembered who he was, and his answer was, “but I remember who She is.”
It really helped me to  see the situation from a different perspective – I realized today when I went to see Mom It’s NOT about me.  It’s still very emotional for me and it was hard that Mom really didn’t know who I was again today.  Because she is having trouble eating, I won’t bring her chocolate or cookies any more.  Not sure what to bring her that will be easy for her to eat.  She was very sleepy this morning, so I may try visiting in the afternoon to see if she is a little more with it.
It is truly a matter of dealing with what is in this moment.

Dad Continued

September 14, 2014

Today is the 100th anniversary of Clayton Moore’s birthday – otherwise known as The Lone Ranger.  I remember watching it as a kid – I also named my stick horse Scout – Tonto’s horse.  Interesting how things this year have reminded me of my Dad.  I may not write about my Dad in chronological order, sometimes certain things come to mind that may be out-of-order.

I think my first memory was about 3 or 4 years old, in the Manhattan Beach house.  I have vague memories and pictures in my mind of chasing trains.  I remember being at the front closet to get coats and go see trains, where I have no idea.  My older sister Ellen might remember.  I also remember walking on the tracks with my sister and Dad – used to frustrate me no end that I kept slipping off but my sister walked the tracks with no trouble.  From my younger point of view, she always did things better than I did.

Family Feb 1954

February 1954 – I think it was taken at my Dad’s parents house in Palos Verdes

Ellen and I would play stick horses together, a long square stick that we tied thin rope at the top for reins.  At one point, Dad took his jigsaw and cut out heads to put at the top – mine was painted like Tonto’s Scout, can’t remember what Ellen had.  We enjoying playing with them, I know we played in the back yard but whether we went in the street I don’t remember.  Again, just pictures in my mind.  When Dad decided to accept a job with Boeing, we moved from Southern California to Seattle – for some reason Dad said we couldn’t take our stick horses – no room in the moving van, or something like that.  That made no sense to either of us, so we weren’t too happy about that.

Family on Drive

Back yard of Manhattan Beach house – to the right is the yard, to the left up the drive, a 2 car garage.

I was 7 when we moved about April of 1954, Ellen was 11.  My parents found a house to rent in Madrona and things suddenly changed.  I was in 2nd grade – turns out I went to school a year earlier than the other kids, so I was always a year younger during public school.  (Mom and Dad always told the story of how much fuss I made to get on the bus with Ellen, so they let me go at age 5 – turned out not to be a favor after all.)  I finished the last 2 months of 2nd grade and then went into 3rd grade.  I think Ellen was in 6th grade by then.

I remember one day in 1954, my Dad came home for lunch – very unusual for him.  Then he and Mom stood out on the back porch watching a plane fly by – what was the big deal about a plane?  It really was a big deal because it was the first flight of the 707 and beginning of the jet age.  It was many years later that I knew why it was a big deal.

When we moved to Seattle my sister Candy was about 18 months old and to us, a pest.  Certainly not her fault, but there was 6 years between us and 10 years between Candy and Ellen.  I also noticed Ellen wasn’t my playmate any more, by that time the 4 years difference was very noticeable.  I was on my own a lot, seems to have been my history.  She kept to herself more and I was probably a pest and nuisance by then.

A year and a half later, my parents found this house – it had all the requirements – a large lot, a view, 4 bedrooms; I never thought I would be living here since 2002 and it is now mine.  I now understand why my Mom wasn’t happy with the layout of the house, you have to go through the living room to get anywhere.  The front door opens smack dab into the living room – wonder if that is why everyone goes to the back door, or is it the path leads to the back porch?  Unfortunately she couldn’t explain it to Dad in a way he would understand.

At Christmas time we would go down to Chubby and Tubby for our Christmas tree.  The five of us would look around the lot and each found a tree – then we had to decide which one to buy.  It often seemed to me that the best tree was always the one someone else was holding.  We would choose one (sometimes one that needed the most love),  take it home and put it in a bucket of water at the bottom of the outside stairs.  It was usually a week before Christmas.  Then we put it up on Christmas Eve, decorate it with ornaments Mom and Dad had collected when they were first married, new ones and ones we made.  The cool thing was the next morning was Christmas.

One Christmas we put it up a week before Christmas, didn’t work out all that well.  Instead of Christmas coming the next morning, it seemed forever for it to come and I think we all  were a bit tired of the tree when it finally came.  So we went back to putting it up Christmas Eve and taking it down New Year’s Day.

I’m curious to know what my sisters’ memories are, if they are very different.  Funny how each person sees something, a person, or event at the same time and sees it differently.  I have been going through pictures and these two were ones I found.

Once again, to be continued.

A Bit of Sister Fun

June 27, 2014

It all started with my sister Ellen sending one of her photos and called it Raindrops on Roses.

So I emailed back – what about whiskers on kittens?  So an email went out to my sister Candy since she has a cat.  She sent back this one for whiskers on kittens – her friend’s kittens.

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Next we needed fresh apple strudel – Candy sent photo of apple blossoms, Ellen sent strudel.

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It was my turn, so I found a doorbell, sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodle.

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Things have slowed a bit, I have the feeling I am missing something.   Hmmmm, I will post this and figure out what’s missing.  Since we are now older, the three of us sisters have grown a lot closer now – I am so happy about that.  With Mom’s dementia, I  am so grateful to have such supportive, encouraging, understanding and loving sisters.  We may live far apart, but that is only in physical distance.  We are close where it counts.

 

I Am Not Unique

June 2, 2013

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I received this from Ellen this morning and I love it so much I decided to add it to the blog.   I love peonies!

I saw Dr. Cheryl for my adjustment on Friday and mentioned how tired and dragged out I had been all week.  She said she has talked to a lot of people who have felt the same way.  Hmmmm, in my own self absorbed world this week, I thought I was the only one feeling that way.  NEWS FLASH Sister, you are not unique in this.  Maybe it is all the dust I have inhaled the  past two or three weeks from the kitchen.

Now we actually have money in hand for the kitchen remodel, we feel we needed to start cleaning out cupboards.  I filled a box for my sister Candy with Mom’s cookbooks, she may get more than she bargained for with that box.  I started another one for her with the cocoa set and some cookie cutters, plus some silverware and utensils.  I put the bread machine aside as well in case she would like that.  Unfortunately there are only the smoke and light blue glasses left – I broke the green one last year.  I need to check with Ellen in case she has changed her mind about things.

Yesterday the 1-800 Junk guys came and cleared out part of the basement where the electrician will need to work.  I kept the Christmas decorations – hope I didn’t miss anything.  I went through before they came to be sure – found some quilting stuff, the two card tables and can’t remember what else.  I guess if I can’t remember or haven’t used it, I probably won’t miss it.  Still have a cupboard to go through and  figure out where we will store things while the remodel is in progress.  More stuff to Goodwill as well.

We worked a lot of the weekend and the holiday, though we also made sure we had time to rest and relax.  Tuesday I found myself tired, the I went to visit Mom and that really did it to me.  I went in the morning and found she had not slept well that night before – she was in bed and hardly awake.  I just let her know I was there and would come back to visit.  I really felt down even though my mind told me she has had lots of mornings like this, often afternoons as well.  I am not sure why it hit me like that, but it did upset me.

I went in the morning because the interior designer was coming at 1.  I have been going round and round trying to decide what color to paint the kitchen – my mind just went into neutral.  So Mary Ellen was a great help and fun to work with.  I told what I was thinking and we looked at color samples, plus I brought one of our sofa cushions up to help with the color for the living/dining room and the hall.  I was thinking pale peach because I want it to feel warm and light on those cloudy, cold, rainy days.    What we ended up with was the same color for the kitchen as well.

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I took before pictures of both the kitchen and living room – Sherwin  Williams has a program on their site to see how colors look.  The color sample on top is the palette, the color is the second lightest, called Creamery.  The trim will be White dove, the last chip on the other sample.  I am going to see if I can do a before and after picture of the wall and trim colors.  The little sample on the white rectangular piece is the counter top, the white on is the cabinets.  My photos aren’t the most accurate with color, because the sample is lighter.  The floor covering is at the bottom, plus I took one by itself on the floor – not the bets colors either.  But at least it is something to give you an idea of what we chose.

We then went to the wholesale place to find counter top, backsplash and floor.  While I was waiting, I could have easily crawled on the table and gone to sleep I was so tired.  I don’t know what happened, maybe a combination of together ness and seeing Mom in the morning.  I was like that on Wednesday, I went to Breakfast Club and had some time to wait to see Dr. Cheryl, so I parked in the Kent Station parking lot and decided to read.  Instead I slept, couldn’t keep my eyes open.  then I had a call from Cheryl, we had changed the appointment to 9:15 instead of 10:15 and I didn’t look at my calendar.  That’s why I saw her on Friday after my haircut.  I went home and knew I should do more cleaning out, but didn’t.  Eddie came home from the archives and we went out to do a couple of things, then came hoe.  Thursday I had my massage and although the afternoon was free, I opted for a lie down.  I had had naps during the weekend but it didn’t seem to make a difference.  I knew I needed to clean out more but I didn’t.

Friday I saw Mom in the afternoon and she was doing well, she had slept both nights before and was alert.  She was doing okay with the walker but her knees still hurt.  she was using the wheelchair but Didi and Judy were concerned she would get used to it and not use the walker.  I had taken an apple pie on Tuesday morning and I am sure she enjoyed it, even if she didn’t remember.

Rather Tense Week

November 2, 2012

Along with a lot of other people, I have been concerned about my sister on the Jersey Shore.  She had emailed last weekend that if we didn’t hear from her, she had lost power.  No one had any idea it would end up the way it has, so I have been wondering how she has fared.  She was able to leave a message on my other sister’s phone  yesterday to let us know she is fine,  no electricity.  Candy had found a blogger from Ocean Grove, so there were pictures of the  pilings where the pier used to be.  Apparently there is damage but seem to have avoided the worst of it.  When Hurricane Irene went through, Ellen never lost the electricity.  Now there is talk of a Nor’easter coming – let’s hope people have electricity before that happens.  My heart goes out to all those who are still wondering or who have lost loved ones in this storm.

While I was waiting for news, I have been working on two sets of paperwork.  Actually, I have been working on the Medicaid ones for quite a while.  I have begun to see there is more to my Mom’s financial state than I realized, so that has meant contacting companies or people to find out more details.  I have had to fax my Durable Power of Attorney to so many places just so they would talk to me.  One is in Rhode Island and when I fax, I just get a message saying I am not authorized to use this system.  I called the company again, the very nice lady told me it wasn’t me, it was them – I was given the right fax number.  So I will continue to try until it goes through.  Heck of a time to have to deal with East Coast businesses.

I went over to see the social worker Denise to have her go over the forms we worked on last week.  I want to be sure I have as much info and the forms are done correctly – I hope that will speed the process.  I am so glad I went because I had forgotten some things we talked about, so now the forms are ready.  I still have some things to copy but I hope to get it in the mail today.  I am sure they will come back with requests, I wanted to eliminate as many of those as I can.  I even found my birth certificate from the hospital – I have a copy from Sacramento – yes, I am a California girl, a native prune picker – that I am still looking for in our papers.  Moving several times seems to misplace some things and turn up others.

We are also applying for a mortgage for this house, it seems the most sensibly financially at this point.  So we have had forms to fill out and sign, then we were sent a slew full on-line – we just had to eSign.  A new thing – they just have what looks like a yellow sticky flag that says Sign Here.  When I click on it, it shows it typed in blue, then later when Eddie did his part, I saw my name had changed styles.  They ask the most interesting questions, we didn’t have to do this stuff when we bought our house in Fort Wayne, Stephens City or Bethlehem.  We try to make things as simple as possible, even so, it seemed as if we had a lot to sign.  The last time was probably the mid – 90’s in Fort Wayne.  I suspect the flow of forms and requests will be coming in for that as well as the ones for Medicaid.  If I had my druthers, I’d druther do one set, then do the next set after the first was finished.  At no time have I been offered my druthers.

Just came home and checked messages – while I was in the shower this morning, my older sister called to say they are fine, no damage but no electricity.  I am so sorry I missed her call.  I definitely have to get a phone with a louder ringer!  I also finished the Medicaid application and finally mailed it today.  Maybe I can relax a bit and not have nightmares about not finding papers I need; actually sleep comfortably since nothing can happen until they receive it Monday.  Still papers to collect – I will start back again on Monday.Now I have to work on the mortgage stuff.  This afternoon I have my massage and I am SOOO looking forward to it.  Even managed to have my hair cut as well.  That is mainly due to my foulups today and last Friday – I have an appointment with a client on Nov 9th, yet for some reason I keep thinking it was this Friday – same for last week.  I knew it was the 9th but I kept putting in my calendar on the wrong Friday – this hasn’t happened before and I am wondering if I am going nuts or just have too much to deal with at the moment.  It’s time to pat myself on the back and say “Good Job!” rather than beat myself up for not having every single solitary paper and form absolutely and completely done perfectly.


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