Archive for December, 2012

Holiday Party

December 16, 2012

It’s hard to believe it has been two weeks since I did a post – maybe that is why I am cranky and irritable.  I used to write a journal and several asked me to send it to them.  I was just writing about my everyday life and when I took trips or had to go to the hospital as an inpatient.  I realized it was a good outlet for me, though I did have to edit it because I didn’t think anyone would wanted to hear about my pains, my crappy days and essentially read my whinges.  So, of course, people thought I had a very interesting life.  When I read some of it myself, I thought  “I had no idea what seemed ordinary, sounded really cool”.  I was able to do a lot of things, go places and explore.  I also had to take RA with me, so it wasn’t all fun and games.  It felt as if I had unloaded some of the crap when I wrote, plus I was glad to have written memories of places, people and things to look back on in a later time.  I did receive a lot of compliments on it which made me feel really good.  Right now it is all in binders somewhere in the depths of the basement.

The past two weeks have been interesting to say the least.  Once again I am back to having trouble staying wake or waking up in the morning.  I am not sure what this round of fatigue is unless I am reaching into the depths of the whole matter of fatigue.  I will say I have been sleeping better, having trouble waking up and getting going – I just want to crawl in bed and close my eyes.  I have been having naps, I wonder how soon the benefit will kick in.  Let’s face it, this time of year is not all that conducive to getting going – after 2 or 3 months of no rain, it has been raining since October.  Not those nice, gentle rains all the time, it often pours like crazy and will also bring very strong winds.  I am more secure since the lower drain was cleaned out.  It has been chilly as well, even saw some snowflakes in the rain yesterday.  Not cold enough to stick – I’ll stick with the wet stuff rather than the white stuff any time.  It is not all that much fun to go out in the sloppy weather since other people drive as if the roads are dry.  NOTE TO SELF:  You are pushing the no whinge zone a little too far.

Thursday night Eddie was invited to the Canadian Consular  General’s home for a holiday party.  It also was the same night of my breakfast club party.  Eddie has gotten to know the Trade Commissioner through the Future of Flight and we were both surprised and delighted to be invited.  I have spent the last several weeks trying to decide what to wear.  I spent hours online looking for what I had in mind, couldn’t find it.  If I had had the energy, I would have made a pieced jacket.  I wanted a little sparkle, but not flashy, but couldn’t find the colors I wanted.  I began to think about my purple jacket with gold threads, which led me to what to put under it.  I ended up buying a new pair of slacks from Nordstrom – I had money from the drug study I had done.  I really liked them and want to buy 2 or 3 other colors at some point.  They were altered for me and I am pleased with how they look and feel.

I finally decided to wear a white blouse under the jacket and my pieced purple corduroy vest – plus I found a really cook necklace that was just right.  Finally I was set – no more agonizing about what to wear.  It was from 5 – 8 so I figured it wasn’t a formal party, I was right.  I think a lot of people came from work, they were dressed well but not all glamour and glitz.  Besides, I figured no one was going to pay attention to what I was wearing, they had their own agendas.  We were there at 4 because we wanted to find it in the daylight – it was almost dark shortly after we came.  So we sat in the car for an hour until around 5.  I took my cane with me because it was a new place and I figured there would be a lot of people there.  Glad I did!  We were on Capitol Hill right across the street from the south end of Volunteer Park; the house is beautiful, yellow with white trim.  However, it is on the hillside, so that required climbing three flights of stairs with no hand rails.  So we took it slowly and when we were still on the first flight, a very nice gentleman offered to help and I was grateful.  We finally made it up to the house and met the Consular General and his wife.  They are a young couple and it looked as though they have two children because I saw them in the beginning and then were probably sent upstairs.

It is the kind of house I would love to have, crown moldings, looks as if it was built in the 20’s or 30’s.  Big rooms and french doors outside.  It was fairly quiet when we arrived but began to fill up rather quickly.  They had waiters and waitresses bringing around trays of appetizers – they were quite good.  I met several people but since I can’t stand that long, I had to sit a lot.  I got up to just move around and met the woman who works at the Consulate in marketing.  We had a lovely conversation and went into the small sitting room so I could sit down for a bit.  Later I had to use the ladies and when I finished, I went the long way around.  I met the Admiral for the Coast Guard for this region, a very nice fellow with ribbons all over the left side of his coat.  Then met one of his staff, also with many ribbons.  Then I was back sitting near Eddie.  He was doing very well, met some interesting people, including the gentleman who helped me.  I saw him in the living room and went over to thank him again for his help.  Turns out he is with a company Eddie has been dealing with and he seems enthusiastic to work with the Future of Flight.

We left around 7, it was really crowded by then and he was ready to go home.  It was raining a bit but not pouring, thank goodness.  I had the stairs to navigate, they seemed less of a task going down.  I took my time and we made it to the bottom without mishap.  It was amazing to see the streets crowded with cars, it was a good thing Eddie left room in front so we could get out.  We came home, had some tea and a snack, neither of us ate much at the party.  The next day I had to get up early to do my mammogram, then my massage in the afternoon.

Waiting (Impatiently) For The Outcome

December 3, 2012

I have been wondering what my Life Purpose is, it doesn’t seem clear to me so that I have that “I Know That I Know” feeling.  Today the Universe sent me this:

You’ll know when you need to know, Lee, and not a moment earlier.

That’s how it works when the answer you’re looking for depends on other events that must first settle, new players that need to be gathered, and serendipities that are still being calculated.

Lee, sometimes, not even I know, until I know.

But you will,

The Universe

In the meantime, Lee, keep dreaming, keep busy, and if you’re feelin’ it, do a little happy dance.

At the moment, very few times of feeling like doing a happy dance.  However, I had an email from Jenna Avery about Life Lesson and Life Purpose – they aren’t the same.

Your Life Lesson Is What You Are Here to Teach

I firmly believe in the adage that “you teach what you are here to learn.”

Your Life Lesson is the perfect insight to exactly what it is that you’ve signed up to master in this lifetime.

The skills, knowledge, and training that you need to help you overcome your own bête noir willmasterfully support you to help other people with their own struggles, whether you help them literally and directly as a teacher or through another means, like through your creative work and how that work affects and heals them.

Your Life Lesson can and should be a central part of your Right Work.  Your life lesson is your blind spot. You won’t know you’re doing it to yourself unless you really learn to watch for the red flags and be alert to the signals that your life lesson is coming on.  Even advanced students of life are still working on their life lessons. (Remember what I said last time? If you were done, you’d be dead.

Use Your Life Lesson to Unlock Your Life Purpose

Understanding your Life Lesson is actually the secret key to “unlocking” your Life Purpose.

What does that mean, unlocking?

Each of us is born to a certain task — a certain way of being and taking action in the world. This is your Life Purpose — the Big Thing, that when fulfilled, puts you in a place of true alignmentwith yourself and your inner Essence.

Once you discover what that is, you can set out on a course of pursuing it, of making it a central theme in your life, and of organizing your Right Work around it.

But interestingly enough, you’ll find that your Life Lesson will keep cropping up along the way, tripping you up, causing challenges, and generally throwing you off course, but when you “exalt”your life lesson, which means that you treat it almost as if it is your life purpose, you’ll find that it can become your greatest ally.

In other words, you want to discover what the inverse of your life lesson would be, and do that.

Weil, that definitely has had me thinking – so many possibilities as I have been working through stuff about childhood programs recently.  I do wonder if it is better for me to discover what my life lessons are rather than having someone tell me.  Jenna will do hand print readings to tell you your life lessons and your life purpose.

UPDATE – I started this post a while ago and wasn’t sure how to finish it since I really don’t have any answers for myself at this point.  Then Friday a note from The Universe came that really helped me:

 Peculiarly, Lee, did you know that the single most effective piece of advice ever          given to anyone who wanted a life partner, is the exact same single most effective     piece of advice ever given to anyone who wanted to live in prosperity?!

Which also happens to be the single most effective piece of advice ever given to      anyone who wished to discover their purpose, foster peace on earth, improve their  health, or dance Gangnam Style?!“Be happy now.”

Whoop! Whoop!
The Universe

Maybe I have to finish all the balderdash with DSHS for Mom and Medicaid before I can begin the next chapter in my life.  I feel my life has been divided into chapters, often a new one began when we moved to a new place.  What I do notice is that I want to spend time every day writing blog posts, but it doesn’t always work out that way because my life  requires I do certain things.  I also want to see other blog posts and comment on them because there are people writing really cool blogs that have some great information.

As much as I would rather not admit it, there are 2 things I need a lot more work on – loving myself and silencing my inner critic and judge.  I have learned and experienced that I sometimes have to experience being uncomfortable to work out things that are working for me – oh, it feels so much better at the other side of the work.  There are times when I work with Debye during my massage and I think – I don’t want to deal with his, yet I feel so much lighter afterwards.   As they say “This too shall pass”.

I’m No Threat To Omar Sharif

December 2, 2012

The other week I was invited to substitute at the neighborhood bridge game.  They meet the 2nd Monday of the month and with 8 players, one always needs substitutes.  Delores learned I played bridge one day while Mom was still home.  We were sitting on the porch enjoying the sunshine and  the subject came up.  I told her I had not played in years, so I wasn’t too sure how much I remembered.  Anyway, a few days later she asked if I would substitute for october.  The 2nd Monday is one of my caregiver support groups but I decided to go to bring that month.  Fortunately there is another support group the day after and I went to that one.  I told Delores I would come.  It was to be at Sheila’s house, she lives on the other side of Delores and I have always wanted to see her house.  When we first moved here, it was a small brick house being rented out because the owners were in Alaska.  He was an Alaskan Airlines pilot and when he was station on Seattle, they came back to their little house.  However, it didn’t stay little long, they remodeled and expanded the house; later when they moved, they sold it to Sheila and her husband.  It’s quite a house, though going straight into the living room from the front door isn’t the best arrangement, in my opinion.  Ah well, was it ever thus?

My bridge playing days started in New Jersey in 1977 – I learned to play at the Y and then played at times in Newcomer’s.  I will admit I felt lost a lot of the time, I would have the hand and then wonder how I got myself into it.  I kept taking lessons and things started to make sense, I finally figured out how to finesse the queen.  Doing no-trump and making sure I had transportation back and forth from my hand and the board was a lot trickier.  However, I must have been fairly good because a group of four ladies would play every Monday and when one had to leave, I was invited to be the permanent fourth.  That really made me feel good.  I enjoyed playing with them and had to quit when Eddie went to a new company in Los Angeles.

I found another  bridge class and it seemed a little easier to play there.  One day one of the women in the class asked if I would like to be her partner in duplicate – that was played another day there.  I was very flattered and agreed to be her partner.  now that is a whole different ballgame than just friendly, social bridge.  They have set hands and partners move from one table to another – I managed to acquire at least 1 master point.  But it is very cutthroat bridge.  We sat with a husband and wife for a round and at one point I thought he was going to leap across the table and strangle her for a move she made or didn’t make – I can’t remember.  It made me realize that playing bridge with your spouse is not always a good idea.  One friend in New Jersey would play with her husband and he had been known to comment to her that he knew she was smarter than that after a particular move.  Glad my other half isn’t interested in cards!

I don’t think I played bridge when we moved to Connecticut, I started again in Atlanta.  What amazed me was how much easier and fun it was than when I first played – maybe getting older and smarter helped.  There was a regular monthly game through Newcomer’s there and I played with all kinds of levels of players.  I had a lot of fun with it and enjoyed myself as well as the other women.  Even played with Kevin Spacey’s mother – just about the time he won the Oscar in the 90’s.  She was discussing what she planned to wear that night.

The older I get and the more places I live, the harder it is to remember what I did in each place.  At the moment, this was the first time I played since Atlanta, though I may remember something later on.  Anyway, I had a very good time with the neighborhood ladies and I found things began to come back to me as we played.  My partner and I did well in the first round – we played 6 games a round.  The second round I did okay with my new partner and they decided to do a third round.  By then it was close to 4 and I happen to see Eddie out by the drive setting out the wheely bins for garbage pick up.  So I called and told him we were going to play another round, then I would be home.  By the end of the afternoon I came in with the 2nd highest points – that was gratifying.  Also helped to have gotten great cards – it can be very boring when I don’t have many points or quite a few hands.  Wonder if they will ask again.

I refer to Omar Sharif because he is well-known as a master bridge player – now retired because he says if he can’t do it properly, he won’t play at all.  I have no idea how many master points he has, but I doubt I will every acquire any more.  A nice friendly game of bridge is my preference, I just want to enjoy the game and the people I play with.


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