Archive for November, 2014

A Particularly Uncomfortable Few Days

November 29, 2014

Boy, computers can bug the hell out of me!!!!!!!!  Yesterday we signed Eddie up for his prescriptions and they sent an email for an electronic signature.  We did it just now and nothing works to send it through.  However, it just occurred to me they are closed, their computers are too.  We’ll try again tomorrow.  And for some reason, the first time I started this post, the bugger would only let me write the title, not the post itself.   Now it’s working – technology 2, Me 0.  I WILL not let it defeat me!  I won’t even mention the printer.

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This is one of Candy’s photos, after the week I’ve had, it always brings a smile to see the rose.  Thank you Candy.

That isn’t the subject, I got sidetracked just before I started writing.  It isn’t painful, just aggravating.

And now to business.  A week ago Thursday I was here in the office and ended up with another splinter in my foot from the hard wood floor.  It is the only place it happens and this time I couldn’t pull it out.  I could feel the end but since it was on the bottom of my heel, I couldn’t see it or bend enough to see it.  Eddie tried getting it out, but he couldn’t either.  It wasn’t that uncomfortable, I have had other splinters that stayed in my foot and have not given me trouble.  By Saturday I could feel it, it seemed to be pushing itself farther into my heel.  I began to feel as if I had a twig in there.  By Monday it was so uncomfortable and I didn’t want to walk on it.  I was sitting here and Eddie said “You have that look.”  I asked what look.  He said the look of “I don’t like this”.  Spot on, he was so right.

Tuesday I was really limping – fortunately I had an appointment with my rheumatologist and my infusion.  When I saw Jennifer – the doc’s nurse – I found myself ready to cry.  I had been having a really bad time and I so appreciated Jennifer as she took the splinter out and cleaned all the junk in it – it had become infected.  It hurt like crazy when she took it out, but I was so relieved to have it gone and cleaned up.  As it was, I did  start crying a bit from relief.

They put a bandage on it and decided I wouldn’t get my infusion.  Fortunately I also had an appointment with Doc Pierce in the afternoon – could I have timed it any better?  He checked it out and gave me a prescription for antibiotics and orders to soak my foot in Epsom Salts.  I have another appointment with him on Tuesday, then an appointment on Thursday for the rheumatologist and I hope my infusion.  Not the most comfortable week, I spent a lot of time sleeping or napping to rest from all the pain and stress.

I am still soaking my foot and everything is so much more comfortable.  I hope it looks good to both docs next week.  As for me, it feels so good to walk comfortably again.  The antibiotics are for 8 days, 3 a day.  Tuesday night, Eddie was ready to cancel our dinner reservation for Thanksgiving  “because you can’t walk”.  I’m glad he didn’t because I was doing much better Thursday afternoon and we had a lovely dinner at Il Fornaio.  It was amazing how quiet it was on the viaduct and downtown, hardly any traffic.  We were half an hour early and they gave us a table right away.

We decided to do the traditional Thanksgiving dinner of 3 thick slices of white meat, yams, stuffing, mashed potatoes, haricot vert and cranberry sauce.  I couldn’t eat all of it, but I did enjoy it.  We decided to have pumpkin pie as well, though it was one thing too many.  But it was a great dinner all around.  We just relaxed all day, reading, working the computer and watching some tv.  It really felt good.  We were glad we were home before it started raining.

However, Friday we were out paddling around in the heavy rain, didn’t go too far a field and were glad to come home and be warm and dry.  This morning we woke up to snow – really coming down for a while.  I think we had an inch or so, the roads were bare and wet fairly quickly.  Good thing because the temperature has dropped and anything liquid is going to be ice.  We saw so many people who had left their car outside, full of snow not very well cleared off.  What a difference to keep our cars in the garage so we don’t have to scrape.

Today we went out for a bit, the wind was really cold and it is due to be colder tonight and the next few days.  It will be drier, clearer and colder – not much fun being outside in that weather.  Not much else to report, we haven’t been doing much these days of the holiday but we have enjoyed it.

That Was The Week That Was

November 23, 2014

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Fall at Vanderbilt University – nothing to do with my post but so lovely I wanted to share it.

It’s a week later and I am relieved to have the letter and its accompanying  attachments on their way to DSHS – all thanks to Dave Gagley.  It will be interesting to see  if there is an answer and if so, what it will be.  Fortunately they will be sending it to Dave, not me.  Now I am possibly making it out to be worse than it is, I don’t like messing with government in any form.

I feel I have taken off my training wheels for the radio show, I am feeling more confident being on air, the times when I am suddenly at a loss for words are fewer and I am able to  recover.  I am still working on my archives, the downloads don’t quite fit the mb quota of my site.  Definitely need to work out how to put it on iTunes as a podcast.  I am also working on guests, some people are a bit shy about being on the air, even if it is on the phone.  But I am not pushing because that doesn’t help make people comfortable.

I am beginning to think my fatigue has loosened up a bit – I sleep all night, have naps in the afternoon and still have trouble getting up in the morning.  I planned to do  several things this week, instead I was dragging and had naps.  Wednesday afternoon I went to the eye doctor for a check up – I’m doing well and there is only a slight change, I don’t need to buy new glasses.  However, when we came home, I was in bed like a shot because I was beat.  I also just saw snowflakes instead of lights and things were a bit blurry, seemed the smart thing to do since I couldn’t do anything else.

Friday was a really good day.  I was able to do things all day and didn’t feel the need for a nap.  I can’t say the same for Saturday, I work with each day as it comes.  I will say I am impatient to have energy again, it feels so long ago the last time I felt energetic.  It’s so much easier to do things with energy.  I am noticing I  tend to say “I’m tired” – doesn’t help the attitude, my goal is to be aware of what I say about it and make sure it is positive.  It’s a thought, and a thought can be changed.

We have been having rain again, I really noticed it on Thursday.  My legs and hips were stiff and sore, I knew something was going on, but not sure what.  We had a lot of clear, cold and sunny days, we are back to the 40’s and 50’s with rain.  Typical Seattle fall weather.  I will take this  rather than deal with snow, ice or any other cold stuff.  I remember a woman I worked with at Boeing who was from Buffalo.  she said when it snowed hard, her Mom would let her young sister outside because she couldn’t find her in the piles of snow.  I’ve seen pictures of this last snowfall there – a lot of people have prepared for it and are concerned about the snow on the roof.  When it starts raining, that snow will be even heavier.  We had a snowstorm here with quite a few inches, then it rained and roofs caved in.  They were showing on Lake Union the roofs of the boat houses collapsing from the weight.

This coming week is a medical one, Monday afternoon is the dentist – talking to him about being on the show as well as my teeth.  Tuesday is my rheumatologist and then my infusion.  It will be my last visit to her, she is retiring at the end of the year (she is younger than I am).   I will miss her, I’ve been going to her since I moved here 12 years ago.  For their long time patients, they called each of us to let us know this was happening.  also, there are 4 other rheumatologists now, so they looked to see which doctor would fit the patient.  I will see Dr. Shasteen in January, I haven’t met her before but a friend had her as a doctor and really liked her.  Nothing stays the same, certainly I haven’t stayed the same.  I think I also see my primary care doctor as well.  Have to check the calendar.

Eddie is taking Thursday off – we have reservations at Il Fornaio for Thanksgiving dinner at 3:30.  We haven’t done this before, so I’m looking forward to it – we enjoy their food and the people.  For years Eddie would get a turkey as a work bonus and there we would be, a big turkey and the 2 of us.  Some years we invited people over, or we were invited and we provided the turkey.  I think last year we found a ball of turkey at Whole Foods, just dark and white meat and not too big for two. It worked out quite well.

We have also taken care of Christmas shopping for my sisters plus our niece and her family in Toronto.  We had everything sent so we don’t have to carry it on the plane.  Let’s hope there isn’t an ice storm this year – it was really something last year.

DSHS Rears It’s Head Again!

November 16, 2014

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Mom on her 90th birthday.

Just when I thought all was pretty much taken care of with Mom’s stuff; a letter from DSHS arrives in last Saturday’s mail.  they sent a form about asset recovery for Mom’s medicaid.  It is a simple form, but I always feel it is a more of a minefield.  I made a copy of it to play around with before doing the official one.  I took it over to Dave Gagley to check for me – I don’t want to answer questions they didn’t ask.  We spent some time figuring out what I need, what else I need to do, etc. because they are going to want the money in her checking account.  I don’t begrudge them the money because they did so much for Mom, I want to be sure my ducks are in a row and everything is properly done.

He is going to file Mom’s will for safekeeping, not for probate.  So I had a list of things to bring him to put this together.  He also suggested going to see our new accountant about final tax return and what is needed.  I made an appointment with AD  and his opinion was that it wasn’t necessary to file because she had minimum income.  I went back to see Dave on Friday to give him the stuff, plus to call AD to explain what he needed, I wasn’t too clear because I don’t quite understand it or the ramifications.

So he and AD talked and settled it between themselves – a bonus for Dave is that AD is looking for an elderly attorney as a referral for his clients.  It’s possible Dave will refer clients who need a tax accountant to AD.  Works all around.  It was such a relief to have their help with this, it has been a source of tension and stress for me all week.  Dave is going to write a letter to DSHS to let them know there are still some bills – his and AD’s still outstanding, so the account isn’t ready to close yet.

I am hoping this is the last piece to the whole puzzle and it can be put to rest.  It has seemed as if there is a spanner in the works cropping up and making me feel stressed; how glad I am to have had Dave to consult and help me with each one as it appears.  I get antsy and  uptight when it comes to government, they can make life very difficult without even trying.

Tomorrow is my radio show, thank goodness the website is up and running and I think I have email.  Last Monday Vickie Bergquist was my show, it was fun because she came to the studio with me for a face to face show.  She was nervous, later said she had fun and I put her at ease.  Not sure what I did, but I am sure Benny helped to calm her nerves too.  This week it is just me.

I have had a lot of good comments from friends on how well it sounds and how polished.  Maybe it is time to take off the training wheels.  I am more comfortable with it, though not quite sure it is real.  It’s not a feeling I can put into words, maybe more of an unreal quality because I never thought I would be doing this.  I had some advice from a marketing friend, since I don’t have a sponsor yet, he suggested using my promotional marketing business as my sponsor.  So we’ll see how that works tomorrow.

It is somewhat odd to find I have trouble remembering what I did during the past week.  I know I was busy and not able to take naps in the afternoons.  I need to check my calendar.   I have been sleeping pretty well at night, sometimes it’s hard to wake up early even though I had gone to bed around 9.  I feel I have a bit more energy at times, some days more than others.

Even tough we have had sun most of the week, it hasn’t been all that comfortable to be outside in the wind – it’s really cold to me.  I know we aren’t having Arctic Chill temperatures, but these are cold enough for me.  Yes, I am a bit of a wimp when it comes to extreme temperatures either way.  We have been having low 40’s during the day and some below freezing nights.  I know other places are colder, snowier and more miserable, this is where I live and it’s more than enough for me.  I have served my time in the  eastern part of the U.S., that’s why I appreciate living here.

Cold is not always kind to joints, at times I feel as if I am slowly being mummified, my legs are as flexible and the other limbs aren’t quite so able to move that well.  The bandages feel as if they are tightening around my middle so I have more trouble bending – or is this all my imagination?  My left side rib is still sore from the tumble, I am curious to know why it seems to travel to different sections and ribs on that side.  Not sure what’s happening but have decided to see it as interesting rather than get my knickers in a twist about it.  The combination of RA and my body have kept me wondering what is happening for over 40 years.

How about that; I have written 900 words not saying much about anything.

What Day Is This?

November 9, 2014

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Bunny doesn’t have anything to do with the subject, she is comforting and we have been spending a lot of time together lately.

Lately, I have been feeling very mixed up, the days don’t feel the same any more.  Yesterday I was home all day while Eddie was working – but it was Saturday.  Felt odd.  Today is his usual Sunday at the LeMay Car Museum, that’s feeling a little more normal.  Then again, what’s normal?  I had a rocky start to last week, the result of a small tumble that I was able to get myself upright again without outside help.  Then I had an intuitive reading and that brought more after effects, so I was feeling  out of sync on several levels.  Then Eddie took Tuesday off and had a meeting; not a typical Tuesday so I lost track of my day.  That part is on me.  As the week progressed I felt better and had a really good day Thursday.  Unfortunately, I could not go to sleep that night, so Friday I was dragging.

I slept very well Friday night and pretty well last night – wish I knew what causes me to not be able to sleep.  It has gotten so I don’t quite know what day it feels and what the actual day is.  I haven’t been looking at my calendar much, that may contribute to the situation.  Maybe it is just a matter of finding my footing again, things have been in rather an upheaval since Mom’s passing.

I also have a tendency to overanalyze things instead of “going with flow” and letting things be what they are at that moment.  Plus, I need to give myself a break and not think in terms of what I am “supposed” to do or “should” do.  It is an old set of patterns that I choose to replace with knowing I am simply in this moment and all is well.  I am now old enough to do and say what I want because I am less and less concerned about other people’s opinions.  It doesn’t mean I’m rude, simply that if I disagree, I will say so.

I thought I had finally published my new website for my radio show findingthegiftsshow.com on Monday, only to find it wasn’t online after all.  So I have been in website hell for several days trying to figure out  why it isn’t online, why I can’t arrange an email and if I can upload shows for an archive.  I also figured out that to listen live to my show, I have to  put it this way 1150kknw.com/listen.  I am still frustrated about my archives, can’t seem to download the shows to my computer – another trip to Apple to find the answer.  Maybe by then, Larry will have figured out how to make a podcast for iTunes.  This is definitely a learning experience!

Thursday I did Chat with the website group to see what the problem was.  It turns out I have Builder but not the right combination of things to make it work properly.  There was a very nice young man named Jonathan who helped me so much, was very patient and got my site up and online.  then he sent me info on creating an email and also how to upload audio.  I created the email but my computer says it has no app for the download of the audio – now I have to figure out where it needs to go on my computer.  Another learning experience.

You have no idea how happy I was to see that website working!  I created it myself, I know it still needs a lot of work, the point was have something for people to check out and see who I am and what I do.  I still have a list of things I need to add, the main part was to have it up and running.   I felt I was in website hell for quite a while, once I can have proper archives, I will feel a whole lot better.

The week was physically uncomfortable, the end of the week was mentally uncomfortable.  That’s not to say I didn’t have comfortable and happy moments, I mostly remember the uncomfortable ones.  Now there is a program for you – I’ve spent so much of my life looking at the negative side, I forget how many gifts there were in the week.  Not always big, momentous ones, often small, delightful ones.  As I look at this post, I realize I mostly wrote about things that were uncomfortable this week – either it was just the telling of a story or a way of releasing a lot of the stress of the week.

Now it is time to start looking at the gifts in the week, does anyone want to read about my difficulties, even if I put humor in it?  The old patterns are hard to recognize and to replace with positives, it means I need to notice and observe to see them.

Election Day

November 4, 2014

The “Silly Season” is almost over!  There is something about campaigns, elections and the media that brings out so much balderdash that some of us are fed up to the teeth hearing so many pontificate and speculate.  Enough already!  It’s on television, in my mailbox, on Facebook, the radio, the telephone and anywhere else anyone can think of to put it.  No wonder we have voter fatigue.  If I hear any more analysis of each race and every tiny detail, I will go round the bed.

The worst part is that not many voters actually vote – those are the ones who whinge and complain the most.  Not only that, the same people keep running and getting elected – how many races have only one person running?  It is negative slants, lies, accusations and rumors instead of issues and what truly needs to be done.  It often seems politicians only notice us voters when election time, the rest of the year they are feathering their own nests rather than working for their constituents.

I vote every time, but  not enough other people do to really make a difference; wouldn’t be nice if we had people running who knew what they are doing.  Too many good people don’t want to be put under the microscope by the press and have their whole lives examined.  Why not put those same news people under the scrutiny that give to candidates?

There doesn’t seem to be much choice of parties or candidates – either very conservative or very liberal.  Why not a moderate party – otherwise some of us don’t have much choice.  Why oh why have the voters been split into segments – black voters, Latino or Hispanic, women, seniors – there are so many segments it is hard to  see us as all American voters.  We are all Americans, with no hyphens.

It is the right, privilege and responsibility for citizens to vote; to have informed voters would be the icing on the cake.  Maybe I am just old-fashioned; after seeing what my husband went through to become a citizen, I know how blessed I am to have been born an American.  Sometimes one has to leave the country and see how things are in other places to really appreciate what we have here.

Too bad this election is the end of it for a while.  Tomorrow they will start going full-bore for the presidential election in 2 years.  When that comes along, that will be major voter fatigue.  I don’t want to hear it, see it or deal with it until about September 2015.  Too bad I won’t be able to do that.  Maybe a little respite before the onslaught for 2015.

I don’t usually rant, but today I have had enough!  I am going to bed early, they can decide each election without me – the New Year comes in whether I am awake or not.

 

No Idea For A Title

November 2, 2014

I just realized it has been a week since I posted – not a lot to write about that is interesting.  I’ve been going through the days, often not sure what I need to be doing.  That ugly word “Should” tends to creep in and I am not boarding that bus voluntarily.  I heard an intuitive talk about letting go of the past programs rather than keeping them playing in a loop in my head.  What a great idea!  I have spent too much time and energy with several and enough is enough.  I have an appointment with an intuitive on Tuesday to help me clear a lot of the “Mom stuff” that feels at this moment as if it is choking me.

There has been a situation that my husband keeps harping on even though it is now resolved.  The last time he brought it up, I told him it is a dead issue.  Wonder why I didn’t use that a lot sooner for things I know are dead but I keep them in the mind loop.  I decided in Ike Pono I don’t board the guilt bus any more – I am only responsible for me, not anyone else.  I have finally learned that no matter how small I play, it never makes anyone else feel secure.

Last Monday on my show I talked about the gifts from Mom’s dementia experience – I wasn’t sure if I would get drippy, it worked out fine.    Late in the afternoon I heard the buzzer on the back door – a fellow bearing flowers.  It was a gorgeous bouquet of white lilies, roses, stock and I am to sure what else.  It was from the Breakfast Club.  I had already received a card from them on Saturday – signed by everyone.  Such wonderful friends and colleagues!

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Tuesday I looked at my calendar and realized I had missed my infusion the Thursday before – I don’t think I looked at my calendar at all last week.  So I called my rheumatologist’s office to see if they could fit me in the next morning after Breakfast Club – they could.  I also asked if I needed to change my next infusion because it would be only 3 weeks in between.  I was ready to go to my regular doc and realized it was 9:00, not 9:30.  By then it was 9:15, so I called his office.  Turns out he hadn’t come from the hospital yet and had 2 other people waiting. So we rescheduled for Wednesday afternoon.

I had coffee and lunch with my friend Patti – we hadn’t met for quite a while and it was good to see her.  I was dragging and spending time with her helped me so much.  I have a very boring life next to her, if it isn’t her house, her family, her business and computer – it is her neighbors.  Sounds a bit like a soap opera.  She has been through taking care of her Mom as well, so she had some good advice and insight.  Also, she is in the same business of promotional marketing, though she specializes in gold mining supplies.  I have learned a lot about gelding from her.   I hope she benefited as much as I did.

Wednesday was medical day – I went to Breakfast Club, then to my infusion, then to my doc in the afternoon.  My doc is a little concerned about me and dealing with Mom’s death.  He has offered to give me the name of a really good grief counselor if I need it.  I  like to wait for a bit to see how I do – he wants to see me in a month.  I may take him up on his offer.

Thursday I spent at Apple first at the Pages Group Session, then a One to One about podcasts and putting them on iTunes and my website.  I seem to give Larry a challenge when we do a One to One.  I need to make another appointment so he can figure out the RSS code and how to apply it to my stuff.

Back in a bit.

I took advantage of the sun while it was out to take pictures of John’s handiwork.  It has been raining, often pouring so much, there hasn’t been much sun.  John and his crew worked in the rain – it had almost stopped when they were finished.  This way there is more light to really show what they did.

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Looking down the porch to the road

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It may not look much different because the big trees belong to the neighbor across the street

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Things look so much better with the ugly hedge gone.

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Now you can see the sidewalk to the front door

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Donut lilacs that dark core is rotten.

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The camellia was so big, too big for the space.

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Looking to the back door

Friday John Van Zanten came with his crew to give us our view back and also give some  things a hair cut.  I asked him to take out that ugly hedge by the outside stairway and then he trimmed some branches on the lilac and the camellia.  Turns out the lilac looked like a donut inside, it was rotted.  Things look a lot different now.  Also, Bob ad Delores next door appreciate the haircut for the view, it helps theirs a lot as well.

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There is a lot more light in the bathroom – small window

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It looks a whole lot different with the branches gone

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I want the camellia, lilac and the rhode bloom in the spring, then we will cut them and dig them up – plant something to soften the brick but not above the windows.

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Not sure what to do with the two camellias on the left – not really the best place for them.

I took naps for several days  in the week, I slept, then sleep well at night – still tired.   Lots of weird dreams, wonder what they are telling me.   I went to lunch on Saturday with Char, Joan and Joyce in Marysville for Lois’s birthday lunch.  It was cloudy here, but as I got near Everett and Marysville, it was foggy – cold and raw.  However, we had a lovely time and I am glad I went by the time I came home, it was too late for a nap – I could certainly have used one.

That’s my week.


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