Posts Tagged ‘Awareness’

I am in awe of the frost

January 17, 2013

We had a very thick frost yesterday morning but I didn’t know it was there until I left the house at o dark thirty for Breakfast Club.  At this time of the year it is dark as a pocket until about 7 or 7:30, so I wasn’t  quite sure how things would be when I left early.  Eddie did tell me there was frost and to be very careful.  So I got ready to go, got out my trusty pocket LED flashlight I carry in my purse and set out.  One of my many samples – it’s good to be a Promotional Advisor, so many lovely samples.  I turn on the flashlight when I turn off the kitchen light – it is across the room from the back door.  So there I was with just a flashlight, looking as if I am up to something nefarious.  I locked the door and that’s another place the flashlight is handy.  As I was going down the porch, I didn’t see much of anything, and the sidewalk was fine for a few steps.  Then I saw the frost and thought it wasn’t as bad as Eddie had said.  But what I noticed when I came to frost on the walk, was how it sparkled, like tiny diamonds.  As I went further down there was more and more, and I saw the sparkles in the grass with white all around the blades.  It was also damn cold!

As I backed out of the drive and turned into the street, I noticed the street was completely white.  Now that was where I really had to watch it!  It was also gorgeous as well.  I could hear the crunch of the tires on the frost – it is so much like snow when it is fresh.  When I got to the end of the street I had to make a fast left turn up the Top of a steep hill.  Fortunately, someone had put thin ribbons of deicer or something on the street, so it wasn’t slick.  Let me tell, doing the fast left turn with everything covered in snow is not that easy – it has kept many a driver on our street from getting out to the road.  Anytime it snows, I do not go anywhere – after getting stuck on a hill twice in the snow, there is nothing that important that requires me to go out in it.

I had a few slopes, then up a steep hill and down the other side to get out to main road.  Those ribbons made navigating the hills no problem.  I had no trouble  getting to the freeway, the cars had melted the frost so it was bare.  When I got off in Kent, wow!  There was a stretch of road I thought would be bare and wet, but it was white and as I was driving it looked as if it had snowed, the cars in the dealership were really covered with frost.  Then shortly after I had gone farther down, the road was clear again.  I wish I could have seen the frost in the day light, but there was also fog, so it was quite awhile before there was any sun and by then most of the frost was gone.

I know there are many people around the country and the world who  are having a lot worse weather than we are.  I was amazed I was so focused on how beautiful it was that I didn’t really think about being afraid of driving.  I had that feeling this morning in the shower, I just felt so good with the hot water  falling on me, warming me up and relaxing me.  I could spend a long time in the shower – actually spent 35 minutes one morning in rehab.  I was doing pretty well at that time and I could get out of the wheel chair and go into the walk in shower.  Katrina told I could do my own washing on the bench and she had someone else in the other shower.  I was enjoying the water and being clean again – only 2 showers a week.  I am used to having a shower every day.  I did pretty well, though every once in a while, she would call across the room “Are you washing?”.  They were all like mother hens there, they took such good care of me and everyone else.  They kept kidding me about wanting to spend time in the hot shower, so this particular morning I got spend more time than usual.  So they had a great laugh about it and later when I went to breakfast, some residents were talking about someone who took a 35 minute shower.  Sometimes it doesn’t take much to make me happy.

Now I find I am becoming more aware of what is around me, enjoying the moment and what I notice.  It is definitely something I want to do more of and be more in the moment.  I have spent too many decades focusing on what hurts or what I don’t have that I have taken all the blessing I have for granted.

I wanted to find photos of things that were similar to what I saw but I couldn’t find it.  We had frost again this morning with fog, not as thick and I didn’t stop to take pictures because I had to get to my doc.  (Good report – he doesn’t want to see me for 3 months.  The longer between appointments means I am doing well.)

Some Clues To What’s Happening To Me

June 17, 2012

I came across an article called 51 Symptoms of Spiritual Awakening – it really explained a lot about what has been happening lately.   It comes from a link on one of Misa Hopkins messages called “Not All Symptoms Mean Something is Wrong”.  This is the link to the 51 Symptoms by Annarita.

Because of my recent broken hip, I was surprised to find it on the list – #41 Falling, Accidents and Breaking Bones.  Her take on it is:  Your body is not grounded or perhaps your life is out of balance. Or your body may be telling you to slow down, examine certain aspects of your life, or heal certain issues. There is always a message.   She also adds some advice to help understand and cope with it –  Advice: Stay grounded by taking your shoes off and putting your feet in the grass; even better, lie down on the grass without a blanket under you. Feel the earth beneath you. Get out in nature. Slow down and pay attention. Be mindful about what you are doing. Feel your feelings when they come up. Stay in the present. Surround yourself with blue light when you are feeling shaky.

#16 is also very similar –                                                                                                                                                                                    Events that completely alter your life: death, divorce, change in job status, loss of home, illness, and/or other catastrophes — sometimes several at once! Forces that cause you to slow down, simplify, change, re-examine who you are and what your life means to you. Forces that you cannot ignore. Forces that cause you release your attachments. Forces that awaken your sense of love and compassion for all.

This has a lot of meaning for me because I have been thinking these past few months since my life narrowed so much with Mom needs that it is time to step away from my business and my life and rethink what I truly want to do for the rest of my life.  I know I want to know my purpose and life’s work doing something I love and feels so right.  I have some ideas about things I want to do – I thought I would have time last fall and then in rehab to write out what my thoughts are and just let it flow out of me.  Unfortunately I have been so bone weary and emotionally and mentally exhausted that I have had no energy to do any of it.  There may also be a part of me that is a little afraid to see where it takes me, for so long my first response to things has been “No”.  But I am choosing “Yes” more often and seeing where it takes me.

#1 is changing sleep patterns.  Man, is that ever true!  I am ready to go to sleep when we turn out the light, then I am wide awake for 3 hours or more with my mind racing.  Sometimes it feels like a squirrel cage, other times I come up with great ideas – that I promptly forget when I finally go to sleep.

#2 is activity at the crown of the head.  Wow, is that cool to know and feel my God Force Energy coming down from Source and going through my crown chakra.  I would love to feel it going all the way through my body and out through the bottom of my feet into Mother Earth.  Hasn’t happened yet but I’ll bet with practice it will.                                                               Advice: This is nothing to be alarmed about. What you are experiencing is an opening of the crown chakra. The sensations mean that you are opening up to receive divine energy.

#9 is skin eruptions – back to being a teenager again. Advice: You may be sloughing off toxins and bringing emotions to the surface. When there is an issue to be released and you are trying to repress it, your skin will express the issue for you until you process the emotions. Work through your “stuff”.  Boy, do I still have stuff to work through!

#12 is power surges – otherwise known as hot flashes.  I thought I was finally finished with all of that, but looks like this is a new chapter –  like most of the symptoms, it is best to let it happen and realize it is only temporary.

#18 is Emotional and mental confusion:
A feeling that you need to get your life straightened out–it feels like a mess. But at the same time you feel chaotic and unable to focus. See #45.

Advice: Put your ear to your heart and your own discernment will follow.

There are a whole lot more that apply to me, but this gives you an idea of what it is about.  I have this feeling there is something coming, something really cool but have no idea what it is.  Mostly it feels as if I have to complete my hip healing and also to settle Mom into a place where she is cared for and has activities and people all around her.  She has been sleeping a lot of the time, not sure if it is just getting used to a new med or a way of escaping from a situation she doesn’t want to be in any more.  She is so ready and anxious to go be with Dad and Josephine the cat – yet she has no idea why she is still here.  It is hard to see her this way, often confused about where she is and who people are.  While I was in rehab, she forgot I lived here and has mostly forgotten who I am.  Once in awhile she knows – I think I have taken a lot of the emotion out of it, but I suspect it can hit me in the face when I least expect it.

Once I have done the best I can for all of us, I need some time to rest and regroup.  Then I can think about me and what is in store for me.


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