Archive for April, 2012

There’s A Reason For My Silence

April 29, 2012

I apologize for not writing for over 2 months – it was not my choice.  On February 24th I fell and broke my right hip which sent me to the hospital and then 8 weeks of rehab.  It was not on my agenda, though I did need a break – I was thinking more in terms of 2 weeks at a spa.  Rehab was no spa, but I had time away from home and all the things making me crazy at the time, so it wasn’t a complete disaster.  However, it was no rest and relaxation either, I learned to stand, walk with toe touch on my right leg and then finally when I had full weight bearing clearance from the surgeon, the therapists really worked me over and I was able to leave rehab on my own two feet and a wheely walker.  I still have 4 weeks of outpatient rehab left – when will they let me drive again?  I am dependent on others to go anywhere, very hard when I am so used to going whenever I want.

To add insult to injury, I caught the flu while I was there.  So my last week was uncomfortable and now I am trying to get rid of this stupid cough.  I need to go see my acupuncturist for that, she does such wonders.  Right now I am packing up for a week to 10 day stay in a hotel while we put a stall shower in the bathroom – I don’t dare get into that tub!  Also a taller toilet and grab bars to make things easier – long overdue improvements.  My Mom is in a tizzy because she really doesn’t want to leave home even though she wants the new shower stall.  We found an adult family home for her to stay while the work is being done, no idea how she will settle in there.

I didn’t miss the computer at all, I had no interest or energy to read or write – 2 things I thoroughly enjoy. I was dragging myself around most of the time,trying to get rested but it never seemed to improve- I suppose I have to remember my body had taken a huge blow and takes time to recover.  I didn’t sleep all that well at night – they had these bubble mattress covers that undulate as I was lying on it.  Trouble came when it wasn’t working, just flat as pancake and my back hurt all the time. I started sleeping on all the pillows, a bit better but not much. Finally got it fixed and then I was kicked upstairs to another room.  That one would only inflate on one side, so they got me a new one and I finally found the right combination of feet up and head up so I was comfortable.  I was only able to sleep on my back – I couldn’t turn myself over on my side at all.  The food is a story in itself – maybe for another time.

So now I am home trying to navigate around and everything seems much narrower than I remember.  My mom has forgotten I live here and really doesn’t know who I am.  I have come to terms with that, it was a lot of emotion in the beginning and as far as I know, the emotion is gone.  It is time to look for a place for her to live permanently – my doctor is very worried about me and also in rehab they don’t want to see me back again.  So when the bathroom is done, it will be time to see what is available and is affordable.

A short version this week, just  to touch touch base and let you know I am still here.  It has been a strange time and I am slowly picking up the threads of my life.  I am curious to see what changes have happened inside me as a result of the whole experience – it maybe quite awhile  before I really know.

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