Archive for the ‘Musings’ Category

War of the Moles

February 20, 2013

We have been having moles for a long time now, but I find I don’t have to do anything about them because my next door neighbor goes after them with a vengeance.  She wants to be sure they don’t  come into her lawn.

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This is the latest one, it appear while she was on holiday.  Since she didn’t see it right away, the soil has dried a bit.  Usually they are a dark rich brown and certainly show up against the green lawn quite well.  She has been  digging down a bit, putting pellets down to kill them, then packing down the soil.  Sometimes they come up next to recent hole, so it looks like this:

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I noticed a couple of weeks ago by the drive were some tiny piles, as if the mamma was teaching her babies how to do it – some test holes to make sure they have the hang of it.  Over by the street there were some that were a bit larger, I think the teenagers were practicing their skills.  After all, what kind of parent doesn’t teacher their young the skills they will need for life.

There are times when I think the moles are oblivious to us humans, spending all that time underground makes the chances of encounters with humans slim to none.  Wonder if they come above ground when it’s dark.  To be honest, I don’t think I have ever seen a mole.  So I decided to look it up on Wikipedia and this is what I found.

Talpa_europaea_MHNT_Tete                                   Talpa_europaea_MHNT

I have to say, a mole is an odd-looking creature –  appealing and repelling at the same time.  This is what I learned about this little mammal:

Moles are small cylindrical mammals adapted to a subterranean lifestyle. They have velvety fur; tiny or invisible ears and eyes;[clarification needed] relatively atrophied hindlimbs; and short, powerful forelimbs with large paws oriented for digging. The term is especially and most properly used for the true moles, those of the Talpidae family in the order Soricomorpha found in most parts of North America,[1] Asia, and Europe. It also refers to other completely unrelated mammals of Australia and southern Africawhich have also evolved the mole body plan; it is not commonly used for some talpids, such as desmans and shrew-moles, which do not fit the common definition of “mole”, as well.

I have to admit, I am intrigued by the “velvety fur”, but not enough to  come face to face with one and hold in my hand..

Now there have been times in the past when my Mom has said we had voles, so I check out Wikipedia again to see the difference.

vole is a small rodent resembling a mouse but with a stouter body, a shorter, hairy tail, a slightly rounder head, smaller ears and eyes, and differently formed molars (high-crowned and with angular cusps instead of low-crowned and with rounded cusps). There are approximately 155 species of voles. They are sometimes known as meadow mice or field mice in North America. Vole species form the subfamily Arvicolinae with the lemmings and the muskrats.

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They are kind of cute and more a mouse while a mole is in the muskrat or shrew family.  However, as I read more about them, now they don’t seem so cute.

 They can have five to 10 litters per year.Gestation lasts for three weeks and the young voles reach sexual maturity in a month. As a result of this exponential growth, vole populations can grow very large within a very short period of time. Since litters average five to 10 young, a single pregnant vole can result in a hundred or more active voles in less than a year.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERANo wonder they multiply so quickly!

Hmmm, maybe those little piles were voles and not baby moles.   However, reading a bit more , I learned something not too wonderful.

Voles will often eat succulent root systems and will burrow under plants or ground cover and eat away until the plant is dead. Bulbs in the ground are another favorite target for voles; their excellent burrowing and tunnelling give them access to sensitive areas without clear or early warning. The presence of large numbers of voles is often only identifiable after they have destroyed a number of plants. However, like other burrowing rodents, they also play beneficial roles, including dispersing nutrients throughout the upper soil layers.

Now we know why Mom’s yellow crocus didn’t come up after she planted them, no doubt some little burrowing animal enjoyed a lovely snack.  Now why didn’t the creature eat the purple and the lavender ones, they keep coming up every year – no yellow.  However, since our lawn is more dandelions than grass, I don’t get all hot and bothered about little piles of earth.  It’s my neighbor who gets agitated because she wants to keep them from coming over and do a number on their little square of lawn.  Actually, I find I find it rather entertaining.

Happy Dance To Spanner In The Works

February 17, 2013

This week was not a happy dance week – we found out Wednesday our mortgage is on hold again – this time because of Fannie Mae.  Seems there is a technicality that applies to us even though we didn’t buy the house.

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 If you buy a house, you can’t take out a loan until you have had the house for six months.  Since it was September, we have to wait until the end of March for our  loan to be started again.  We could have just done a loan for the home equity amount and closed this month, but sure as I’m a foot high, we would never feel we could afford a kitchen remodel later.  So it is waiting again.

This week especially has been putting together all the tax stuff for my appointment with our tax man.  That also included Mom’s as well.  I have spent this week putting things together and Friday I was here all day – by the evening I was so tired I went to bed about 8:30.  I made the appointment for Saturday so Eddie would be free to go with me – no such luck.  He was meeting a bunch of twitter geeks with the Marketing Director for the Future of Flight for a tour of the 737 factory in Renton.  Now why would he prefer to do that than do taxes with me?

Monday I had a Roadshow up in Lynnwood with some of the suppliers I know.  I will admit to feeling a bit adrift, I haven’t been able to do much with my business for the past 2 years.  I felt almost a beginner, but I am glad I went.

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 Then in the afternoon I was asked to play bridge with the neighbor ladies again, this time down the  hill at Mary Lou McCormick’s.  Delores came to pick me up and we walked down – believe me, I went very slowly.  At one point Delores told me to watch out for the speed bump; I said I wasn’t going fast enough to be concerned.  they have a modern house – probably in the 50’s with a deck facing the water – they don’t have any trees to block any of the view.

Turns out they were one short, so Ralph joined us for the afternoon.  It was not my day to have good cards, I ended up with the booby prize for the lowest score.  I just enjoyed playing and being with the ladies.  The day was a completely different set of things outside what I have been doing and I liked the break.  I am definitely no threat to Omar Sharif.

Eddie and I even had an evening out – you might cal it early Valentine’s Day treat.  My breakfast group had a social on Wednesday evening and we had a really good time – about 18 of us – members and spouses – and although it was a bit noisy, we all had fun.  We took Debye – my massage therapist and very good friend – home since she was only across the parking lot.  She was kidding she had to watch out not to run into cars as she walked home.  The waiter offered to walk her home.  Next morning she was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for my massage.  Since Eddie and I went to bed a little while after we came home, I was feeling good as well.

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This is me for the next week – yes, I had to put in a cat!  Tomorrow is a holiday but Eddie is working, then taking off Tuesday.  He wants me to go with him while he has his car serviced, I have to go to my rheumatologist for service.   It’s either a 4 or 6 month check in.  She hasn’t really changed my meds or what I am doing – according to her I am holding my own.  We’ll see if she mentions Orencia on Tuesday.

Tomorrow is just for me, I don’t have to go anywhere and I have done everything necessary – Medicaid is done, taxes are done – no glitches I hope – nothing for the loan for a bit and things are calm at the moment.  Almost to the end of the tunnel and I see daylight, not a train rushing toward me.  At last, a few moments of peach and quiet.  Next project is cleaning out the house – one bit at a time.

May this next week be calm and peaceful for everyone.

A Little Shameless Self Promotion!

February 10, 2013

I have a blog post I am working on but have come to a standstill at the moment.  However, I have started a new blog called Catless In Seattle.  I came about by accident, I was commenting on another blog about cats and Russell asked if I had any cats.  I said no, I am catless in Seattle – he thought it was a great blog title.  I found myself creating a new blog and buying the domain name before anyone else did.   I only have a couple of posts plus I reblogged 2 posts from Russell – he has Caturday every Saturday and it is hilarious.

The blog is in its early stages and I am not sure how it will develop, it is fun and these days I am all about fun.  I am open to suggestions, critique and ideas.

Oh Goody, Rain and Dark

January 30, 2013

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This is Wednesday, the day I go to my networking breakfast group.  We meet at 7:30 for breakfast and have a 30 second commercial, then a 5 minute speaker and a 15 minute speaker.  I am scheduled for a 15 minute in 3 weeks, then Carol asked if I would do it next week because Dick won’t be there – now why would he want to miss breakfast just to celebrate his 40th wedding anniversary with his wife?

Eddie woke me up at 5:15, just before he left to volunteer at the Boeing Archives.  By the time I was ready to go, it was 0 dark thirty and not only dark, but raining too.  Not my favorite combination. Fortunately it wasn’t a hard rain, plus I noticed in the light of my little LED flashlight I could see the rain – like little lighted pins or thin rods that have rainbow colors.  I would like to stand still and study it, but I had to go – plus I would have gotten wet.  So I left for breakfast and was glad it wasn’t a torrential rain in the dark – been there, done that, don’t like it.

I remember a day in the 80’s when I was doing speeches for the Connecticut Chapter of the Arthritis Foundation.  It was a school and I wasn’t sure what to say to the kids, so I decided to think of it from their experiences.  It was during daylight and I had not been there before, so I was trying to find my way in the downpour where I could hardly see through the windshield.  The wipers weren’t doing a whole lot for me, but it would have been worse if I didn’t have them going.

I will say that all of us are so glad the fog is gone, there isn’t that feeling of the ceiling slowly coming down on me, almost squishing me as it comes close to the ground.  The air had gotten very stagnant, so there was a burn ban – now we can have a fire and the air is a lot cleaner.  We have even seen some sun, sometimes bits of it here and there, some times a whole morning or afternoon.

When I was out last Friday the sun went in and out of the clouds, one of those times when the clouds were snowy white to dark and all the values in between.  It was amazing, I wish I could have used my camera, but I needed to keep my eye on the road.  If we have sun and clouds, I rather have the puffy ones where the sun goes in and out than have it look hazy.

Day 1 - A cloudy pic across the puget sound

It is always amazing to see the rain come across Puget Sound from the West, over the olympic Mountains to us – then goes into the mountains and becomes snow and really bad weather as it makes it way east.  Sometimes we see big black clouds, sometimes they are grey and some have that “I’m going to dump on you” look.  Other times it looks like fog coming across the water, until the rain drops hit our big west-facing windows.  If the wind is strong, it will make those big windows rattle.

It’s been more of a toolie rain today that hard or downpour – but you will get wet is you stay out in it.  When they say there is a 60% chance of rain, I usually say you will only get 60% wet.  That’s the thing about Seattle, we have all kinds of rain – from spit to mist to drizzle to real rain to hard rain to downpour.  Some days it doesn’t do anything, just is cloudy and sulks. It’s not true it takes 6 months to acquire web feet here, it only takes 2 or 3.  Actually, I tell people it rains all day every day here so they won’t come here to live.  I remember saying that all the time I lived away from here.

I lived away from here for 34 years and I so missed the rain and the green.  I missed a large body of salt water and proper mountains, Northern Virginia had 3 mountain ranges but they were bumps on the landscape next to the Olympics.  It was hard to be in For Wayne and Atlanta where there weren’t any mountains and in Atlanta Lake Lanier was just a squiggly man-made lake – no body of salt water.  Felt a little landlocked in some places.  Really made me appreciate the Pacific Northwest and Washington (the real one).

I will take rain drops over the flakes and the icy stuff any day.

Smothered Under a Blanket

January 20, 2013

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Seattle has a bad habit of having bouts of fog – mostly in December around Christmas when we used to spend Christmas here.  We seemed to have liked out several times – it was clear when we arrived, then the fog clamped down for at least two weeks.  All those people stuck in airports trying to travel.  Then the day before we left the sun would come out and all was clear.  Now in January it has been so foggy since last Sunday – I think, it has hung around so long I can’t quite remember.  This time it has had an added element – heavy frost.  Fortunately I have been able to go places later in the morning so it has worked okay.  If it is really bad, I stay home.

It seems the fog won’t lift, just hangs around and at times it feels as if several houses in the neighborhood ( those I can see) are on a small island with us and no one ale is there.  An odd feeling.  There are days when the Sound and Vashon along with the other islands are not there, we live on a very high peak that is a straight drop down.  Other times it looks as if there are no islands, just the ocean out there.

Friday was a very interesting morning.  I went up to the Future of Flight with Eddie because later he was to visit a place where he will do a presentation next month.  It seemed silly for him to come back down here and then go to the place, so I went up with him.  I took my journal and my books so I could write and read.

We found everything covered in fog and some slippy slidey areas but not bad for us.  But as we drove up we seem to have found pockets of high fog or clouds and thought it wouldn’t be too bad up north.  We stopped at Panera at Alderwood Mall and as Eddie turned the corner, he could feel the car slide a bit.  I didn’t  notice it and since the black top was black, I thought it was fine.  I soon found out how slippy slidey it was because I was sliding on the pavement almost every step – it scared me a lot.  I had to hold on to Eddie and even then I was slipping around.

After a lovely breakfast we came out, I had forgotten my trip in and realized I had to it again, only this time with a downhill.  Eddie held on to me and when we got to the downhill, I had him be in front of me and I held to his shoulders.  We walked very slowly – very hard for him, never seen anyone cover ground as fast as he does).  So I had to tell him to slow down.  I made back to the car in one piece without mishap but I don’t if I could have by myself.

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When we got to the Future of Flight, everything was white with frost.  Eddie took me up to the back door , close to the building it was bare and wet.  then he took the car to his parking space.  He showed me a place on the balcony that was warm and quiet, so I spent most of my time there.  And I finally started my journal on exploring RA, then read for a while.  Afterwards I went down to visit with the Friday morning volunteers.

We needed to leave around 11, so I hit the pit stop and Eddie picked me up at the front door.  The most astounding thing was to see the sunshine and blue sky at times.  When we left it was sunny, but down the road it was fogged in.  Never know what it will be like in any given place.  In some places the fog was higher but not really gone, there were clouds above.  Yesterday was as bad though, most places had high fog.  As I am sitting here this afternoon writing this, there is sunshine – who’d a thunk it?

It often seems the weather gets into a rut – rains every day, fog for more than a week, even sun for 2 months!  That was really weird for us.  Unfortunately there is a burn ban now so we can’t use the fireplace – we need some rain to help all this.  Imagine someone in Seattle wanting rain!  You need to be a bit odd to enjoy living here.

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The only reason I knew the ferries were running was because I heard their fog horns.  I would hate to be a captain navigating through the fog with all the traffic on the Sound.  No doubt they have great radar, otherwise we would hear the crash and crunch as they ran into each other.

I am in awe of the frost

January 17, 2013

We had a very thick frost yesterday morning but I didn’t know it was there until I left the house at o dark thirty for Breakfast Club.  At this time of the year it is dark as a pocket until about 7 or 7:30, so I wasn’t  quite sure how things would be when I left early.  Eddie did tell me there was frost and to be very careful.  So I got ready to go, got out my trusty pocket LED flashlight I carry in my purse and set out.  One of my many samples – it’s good to be a Promotional Advisor, so many lovely samples.  I turn on the flashlight when I turn off the kitchen light – it is across the room from the back door.  So there I was with just a flashlight, looking as if I am up to something nefarious.  I locked the door and that’s another place the flashlight is handy.  As I was going down the porch, I didn’t see much of anything, and the sidewalk was fine for a few steps.  Then I saw the frost and thought it wasn’t as bad as Eddie had said.  But what I noticed when I came to frost on the walk, was how it sparkled, like tiny diamonds.  As I went further down there was more and more, and I saw the sparkles in the grass with white all around the blades.  It was also damn cold!

As I backed out of the drive and turned into the street, I noticed the street was completely white.  Now that was where I really had to watch it!  It was also gorgeous as well.  I could hear the crunch of the tires on the frost – it is so much like snow when it is fresh.  When I got to the end of the street I had to make a fast left turn up the Top of a steep hill.  Fortunately, someone had put thin ribbons of deicer or something on the street, so it wasn’t slick.  Let me tell, doing the fast left turn with everything covered in snow is not that easy – it has kept many a driver on our street from getting out to the road.  Anytime it snows, I do not go anywhere – after getting stuck on a hill twice in the snow, there is nothing that important that requires me to go out in it.

I had a few slopes, then up a steep hill and down the other side to get out to main road.  Those ribbons made navigating the hills no problem.  I had no trouble  getting to the freeway, the cars had melted the frost so it was bare.  When I got off in Kent, wow!  There was a stretch of road I thought would be bare and wet, but it was white and as I was driving it looked as if it had snowed, the cars in the dealership were really covered with frost.  Then shortly after I had gone farther down, the road was clear again.  I wish I could have seen the frost in the day light, but there was also fog, so it was quite awhile before there was any sun and by then most of the frost was gone.

I know there are many people around the country and the world who  are having a lot worse weather than we are.  I was amazed I was so focused on how beautiful it was that I didn’t really think about being afraid of driving.  I had that feeling this morning in the shower, I just felt so good with the hot water  falling on me, warming me up and relaxing me.  I could spend a long time in the shower – actually spent 35 minutes one morning in rehab.  I was doing pretty well at that time and I could get out of the wheel chair and go into the walk in shower.  Katrina told I could do my own washing on the bench and she had someone else in the other shower.  I was enjoying the water and being clean again – only 2 showers a week.  I am used to having a shower every day.  I did pretty well, though every once in a while, she would call across the room “Are you washing?”.  They were all like mother hens there, they took such good care of me and everyone else.  They kept kidding me about wanting to spend time in the hot shower, so this particular morning I got spend more time than usual.  So they had a great laugh about it and later when I went to breakfast, some residents were talking about someone who took a 35 minute shower.  Sometimes it doesn’t take much to make me happy.

Now I find I am becoming more aware of what is around me, enjoying the moment and what I notice.  It is definitely something I want to do more of and be more in the moment.  I have spent too many decades focusing on what hurts or what I don’t have that I have taken all the blessing I have for granted.

I wanted to find photos of things that were similar to what I saw but I couldn’t find it.  We had frost again this morning with fog, not as thick and I didn’t stop to take pictures because I had to get to my doc.  (Good report – he doesn’t want to see me for 3 months.  The longer between appointments means I am doing well.)

Sunday Round Up

January 13, 2013

Obviously I didn’t write more than one post last week – I thought I would because of Brenda Ueland’s book and how much it made me want to write.  I am still dragging from the flu but feel a lot better, too bad my energy hasn’t caught up yet.  But I have decided it is long past time to change my thought patterns – instead of thinking in terms of my fatigue,  I am going to think in terms of “My energy is returning”.  So there!  I realize I am waiting for it to come but I have to do more than whinge and sleep.  I also think the cough stuff put me to sleep – helped the cough and now I am not using it.  Maybe it takes more than a day or so to be completely out of my system.  Some days I feel as if I have more questions about so much and very few answers. However, I also tend to want to see it on a flashing neon billboard so I won’t miss it.  That is one of the things I am concerned about – missing the messages.  Maybe I need to change my name to Thomas on those occasions.

I did notice something interesting on Thursday.  I didn’t put my neck collar on to work on the computer, but I wasn’t stiff or uncomfortable when I finished.  I was looking at other RA blogs and commenting on them as well as checking out dementia blogs.  I was having fun and I must have been doing it for 2 or 3 hours non stop.  Hmmmm, something to think about.   However, I had planned a post that day – it was a day to myself and I took full advantage of it.  I was caught up in the blogs – there are some really great bloggers out there! – and forgot what I wanted to do.  Maybe when I do things I enjoy, there aren’t the repercussions I get when I am doing something that isn’t always fun.

I have been checking WordPress to see what I need to do on my blog to be on Freshly Pressed on Fridays.  One thing is not have long paragraphs, one thing I have on my posts.  So I have been working on making my paragraphs shorter – when I write, I just go full steam without noticing things like that.  Then I check spelling and publish.  I need to do a little more with it now. They also suggest pictures, that  means  I may be surfing a lot to find  a photo that  fits the subject.  I need to go back and see what else I need to do – now that I think about it, a page with long paragraphs isn’t very interesting to look at.  However, the most important is content and how it is written.  I did learn how to put in a gravatar, so I am learning something new every day.

I just saved my draft and decided to view the post to see how it looks – about twice as many lines as they recommend – on the part where I write, I have short paragraphs, but on the blog the space is narrower, so instead of no more than 8 lines, I counted 15.  Hmmm, this is going to take some thought to decide how to do this. – I don’t have anything else to do, do I?  I checked the blog preview again, 3 lines equals 6 lines on the blog.  That does help me figure out how much to put in each paragraph when I am writing the blog.  Ain’t technology wonderful?

I am very pleased to see the sun out again, though it has been in the very low 30’s and upper 20’s the last few days.  It is a delight to see the sun this week, it feels as if it has been away on holiday for quite a while.  We checked the rain amount, as of Saturday afternoon, we have 2.71 inches, and the middle of the month isn’t even here yet.

Speaking of which, Tuesday is my birthday, the big 66.  I don’t necessarily feel that age, except Friday night and Saturday morning when I was so stiff and uncomfortable – no idea why.  Not my favorite way to feel.  I don’t feel any age, but looking at 66, I realize I don’t necessarily have a lot of time left to accomplish whatever is my Life Purpose.  By the way, I have the list of Life Lessons and I will do a post on that soon.  In looking at it, it feels as if all of them are mine.

We have been applying for a mortgage but had to hold off for a bit until we have Mom qualified for Medicaid.  Since it all looks really good, they started the process up again, but it may not be until the end of this month.  I was hoping we would be starting on the kitchen this month but not so far.  Looks more like February.  Ah well, all things come to he/she who waits.  Another part of being a late bloomer.

Lee Proposes, God Disposes

January 3, 2013

I had planned to write a blog post 2 1/2 weeks ago called “The Bears Have It Right”.  I had decided to take the last two weeks in December off just relaxing – hibernating, so to speak –  doing what I wanted, writing blog posts as well as in my journal.  I needed some quiet time to rest and recuperate from this last quarter of the year.  Unfortunately I came down with the flu and have been coughing, blowing my nose, losing my voice and dealing with a sore throat.  If I had been in any mood to write, it would have been to whinge about how badly I felt and chronicle in detail the day my throat felt as if there were thorns in it – made swallowing, sneezing and coughing very uncomfortable.  Then I would have complained the day I had a horrendous headache – all of which would have been against my rule of No Whingeing.  So that is why you have not seen a blog for  2 1/2 weeks.  To make the whole thing more interesting, Eddie came down with it as well about a week after I did.  What a pair we have been.  There are times when I think God has a very peculiar sense of humor – last time I needed a break, it was a broken hip rather than two weeks at a spa as I had imagined it.

So here I am in January 3rd, feeling a whole lot better, though still with the stuffy runny nose and cough.  I am beginning to feel more human again – boy does that feel good.  I am still lying low this week to see if I can get over it all as much as possible before starting the new year.  I am happy to say I have been sleeping well for a while, though I still don’t feel rested.  But I think I am working through the fatigue of this year and last by going down layer by layer.  It has been a very different Christmas this year, the first time we have been on our own.  We always came to Seattle for Christmas with Mom and Dad and my two sisters – didn’t seem like Christmas otherwise.  The only decoration we put up were the cards that arrived – thank goodness Eddie was on the ball sending ours.  Christmas Day we went over to see Mom and bring her a box of goodies.  We also brought Candy’s gifts with us since she sent them to the house.  She was pleased to see us, even though we were both feeling terrible.  They had all been given gifts – John gave Mom a large teddy bear – she really likes it and cuddles it a lot.

I wanted to give the others in the house a gift, so I bought handkerchiefs for John and Wendell, a plush bear for Jennifer because she keeps admiring Mom’s and has said she wished she had one.  I gave Monique and Jan each a bone china mug and scarves to Didi, Judy and Susan.  I appreciate their caring for Mom and  being there for her.  Mom is often confused and has been having trouble sleeping at night.  To counteract that, she sleeps a lot in the day.  They have a new med to help her sleep at night but it hasn’t kicked in yet – it may take a couple of weeks.  One day I went to see her and she was sound asleep – she had not slept well the night before.  Another day she had just gotten up – it was about 1:30 in the afternoon.  She seems to be more forgetful when she is timed and they are beginning to see her feisty, irritable side now.  When I saw her yesterday, she was very upset and wanted to go home, I think more likely her mother’s house, though she did say she wanted to live with me again.  Part of it is not sleeping well and part is the dementia, it was upsetting to be there.  This is definitely the hardest part of the disease.  I talked to Judy about it and she helped me to understand about it a little more.  I have to remind myself her perception is not always a true one.

2012 has been a challenging year for a lot of people, not just me.  What I would rather do when I look back over the year is to see the gifts in it.  Although it has been difficult taking care of Mom and then finding a place for her to live, plus all the balderdash applying for Medicaid, I am realizing I can ask for help as well as step up to plate and deal with what comes.  I have realized that a lot of my childhood programs have been hitting me in the face so I finally have begun to recognize them.  One was “Don’t ask for help, don’t bother or burden others”,  I am listening to my older sister’s advice of “Ditch it, girl”.  With the broken hip, I had a break from Mom and home, though not quite as I pictured it.  But it gave me a chance to have time on my own where the focus was on me and what I needed.  It also gave Eddie a chance to see what I had been dealing with all those months.  Yes, I still had to deal with stuff for Mom on the phone, but I could forget about it for a while as I was doing therapy and sleeping – not a lot of energy or interest for anything else.

I suspect I will be able to see the gifts better as time goes on, it isn’t always apparent at the time.  I see 2013 as a new beginning, though I am not sure what it will be or how it will show up – I look for what is for my highest good, what works no matter what form it appears.

Holiday Party

December 16, 2012

It’s hard to believe it has been two weeks since I did a post – maybe that is why I am cranky and irritable.  I used to write a journal and several asked me to send it to them.  I was just writing about my everyday life and when I took trips or had to go to the hospital as an inpatient.  I realized it was a good outlet for me, though I did have to edit it because I didn’t think anyone would wanted to hear about my pains, my crappy days and essentially read my whinges.  So, of course, people thought I had a very interesting life.  When I read some of it myself, I thought  “I had no idea what seemed ordinary, sounded really cool”.  I was able to do a lot of things, go places and explore.  I also had to take RA with me, so it wasn’t all fun and games.  It felt as if I had unloaded some of the crap when I wrote, plus I was glad to have written memories of places, people and things to look back on in a later time.  I did receive a lot of compliments on it which made me feel really good.  Right now it is all in binders somewhere in the depths of the basement.

The past two weeks have been interesting to say the least.  Once again I am back to having trouble staying wake or waking up in the morning.  I am not sure what this round of fatigue is unless I am reaching into the depths of the whole matter of fatigue.  I will say I have been sleeping better, having trouble waking up and getting going – I just want to crawl in bed and close my eyes.  I have been having naps, I wonder how soon the benefit will kick in.  Let’s face it, this time of year is not all that conducive to getting going – after 2 or 3 months of no rain, it has been raining since October.  Not those nice, gentle rains all the time, it often pours like crazy and will also bring very strong winds.  I am more secure since the lower drain was cleaned out.  It has been chilly as well, even saw some snowflakes in the rain yesterday.  Not cold enough to stick – I’ll stick with the wet stuff rather than the white stuff any time.  It is not all that much fun to go out in the sloppy weather since other people drive as if the roads are dry.  NOTE TO SELF:  You are pushing the no whinge zone a little too far.

Thursday night Eddie was invited to the Canadian Consular  General’s home for a holiday party.  It also was the same night of my breakfast club party.  Eddie has gotten to know the Trade Commissioner through the Future of Flight and we were both surprised and delighted to be invited.  I have spent the last several weeks trying to decide what to wear.  I spent hours online looking for what I had in mind, couldn’t find it.  If I had had the energy, I would have made a pieced jacket.  I wanted a little sparkle, but not flashy, but couldn’t find the colors I wanted.  I began to think about my purple jacket with gold threads, which led me to what to put under it.  I ended up buying a new pair of slacks from Nordstrom – I had money from the drug study I had done.  I really liked them and want to buy 2 or 3 other colors at some point.  They were altered for me and I am pleased with how they look and feel.

I finally decided to wear a white blouse under the jacket and my pieced purple corduroy vest – plus I found a really cook necklace that was just right.  Finally I was set – no more agonizing about what to wear.  It was from 5 – 8 so I figured it wasn’t a formal party, I was right.  I think a lot of people came from work, they were dressed well but not all glamour and glitz.  Besides, I figured no one was going to pay attention to what I was wearing, they had their own agendas.  We were there at 4 because we wanted to find it in the daylight – it was almost dark shortly after we came.  So we sat in the car for an hour until around 5.  I took my cane with me because it was a new place and I figured there would be a lot of people there.  Glad I did!  We were on Capitol Hill right across the street from the south end of Volunteer Park; the house is beautiful, yellow with white trim.  However, it is on the hillside, so that required climbing three flights of stairs with no hand rails.  So we took it slowly and when we were still on the first flight, a very nice gentleman offered to help and I was grateful.  We finally made it up to the house and met the Consular General and his wife.  They are a young couple and it looked as though they have two children because I saw them in the beginning and then were probably sent upstairs.

It is the kind of house I would love to have, crown moldings, looks as if it was built in the 20’s or 30’s.  Big rooms and french doors outside.  It was fairly quiet when we arrived but began to fill up rather quickly.  They had waiters and waitresses bringing around trays of appetizers – they were quite good.  I met several people but since I can’t stand that long, I had to sit a lot.  I got up to just move around and met the woman who works at the Consulate in marketing.  We had a lovely conversation and went into the small sitting room so I could sit down for a bit.  Later I had to use the ladies and when I finished, I went the long way around.  I met the Admiral for the Coast Guard for this region, a very nice fellow with ribbons all over the left side of his coat.  Then met one of his staff, also with many ribbons.  Then I was back sitting near Eddie.  He was doing very well, met some interesting people, including the gentleman who helped me.  I saw him in the living room and went over to thank him again for his help.  Turns out he is with a company Eddie has been dealing with and he seems enthusiastic to work with the Future of Flight.

We left around 7, it was really crowded by then and he was ready to go home.  It was raining a bit but not pouring, thank goodness.  I had the stairs to navigate, they seemed less of a task going down.  I took my time and we made it to the bottom without mishap.  It was amazing to see the streets crowded with cars, it was a good thing Eddie left room in front so we could get out.  We came home, had some tea and a snack, neither of us ate much at the party.  The next day I had to get up early to do my mammogram, then my massage in the afternoon.

Waiting (Impatiently) For The Outcome

December 3, 2012

I have been wondering what my Life Purpose is, it doesn’t seem clear to me so that I have that “I Know That I Know” feeling.  Today the Universe sent me this:

You’ll know when you need to know, Lee, and not a moment earlier.

That’s how it works when the answer you’re looking for depends on other events that must first settle, new players that need to be gathered, and serendipities that are still being calculated.

Lee, sometimes, not even I know, until I know.

But you will,

The Universe

In the meantime, Lee, keep dreaming, keep busy, and if you’re feelin’ it, do a little happy dance.

At the moment, very few times of feeling like doing a happy dance.  However, I had an email from Jenna Avery about Life Lesson and Life Purpose – they aren’t the same.

Your Life Lesson Is What You Are Here to Teach

I firmly believe in the adage that “you teach what you are here to learn.”

Your Life Lesson is the perfect insight to exactly what it is that you’ve signed up to master in this lifetime.

The skills, knowledge, and training that you need to help you overcome your own bête noir willmasterfully support you to help other people with their own struggles, whether you help them literally and directly as a teacher or through another means, like through your creative work and how that work affects and heals them.

Your Life Lesson can and should be a central part of your Right Work.  Your life lesson is your blind spot. You won’t know you’re doing it to yourself unless you really learn to watch for the red flags and be alert to the signals that your life lesson is coming on.  Even advanced students of life are still working on their life lessons. (Remember what I said last time? If you were done, you’d be dead.

Use Your Life Lesson to Unlock Your Life Purpose

Understanding your Life Lesson is actually the secret key to “unlocking” your Life Purpose.

What does that mean, unlocking?

Each of us is born to a certain task — a certain way of being and taking action in the world. This is your Life Purpose — the Big Thing, that when fulfilled, puts you in a place of true alignmentwith yourself and your inner Essence.

Once you discover what that is, you can set out on a course of pursuing it, of making it a central theme in your life, and of organizing your Right Work around it.

But interestingly enough, you’ll find that your Life Lesson will keep cropping up along the way, tripping you up, causing challenges, and generally throwing you off course, but when you “exalt”your life lesson, which means that you treat it almost as if it is your life purpose, you’ll find that it can become your greatest ally.

In other words, you want to discover what the inverse of your life lesson would be, and do that.

Weil, that definitely has had me thinking – so many possibilities as I have been working through stuff about childhood programs recently.  I do wonder if it is better for me to discover what my life lessons are rather than having someone tell me.  Jenna will do hand print readings to tell you your life lessons and your life purpose.

UPDATE – I started this post a while ago and wasn’t sure how to finish it since I really don’t have any answers for myself at this point.  Then Friday a note from The Universe came that really helped me:

 Peculiarly, Lee, did you know that the single most effective piece of advice ever          given to anyone who wanted a life partner, is the exact same single most effective     piece of advice ever given to anyone who wanted to live in prosperity?!

Which also happens to be the single most effective piece of advice ever given to      anyone who wished to discover their purpose, foster peace on earth, improve their  health, or dance Gangnam Style?!“Be happy now.”

Whoop! Whoop!
The Universe

Maybe I have to finish all the balderdash with DSHS for Mom and Medicaid before I can begin the next chapter in my life.  I feel my life has been divided into chapters, often a new one began when we moved to a new place.  What I do notice is that I want to spend time every day writing blog posts, but it doesn’t always work out that way because my life  requires I do certain things.  I also want to see other blog posts and comment on them because there are people writing really cool blogs that have some great information.

As much as I would rather not admit it, there are 2 things I need a lot more work on – loving myself and silencing my inner critic and judge.  I have learned and experienced that I sometimes have to experience being uncomfortable to work out things that are working for me – oh, it feels so much better at the other side of the work.  There are times when I work with Debye during my massage and I think – I don’t want to deal with his, yet I feel so much lighter afterwards.   As they say “This too shall pass”.


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