I have been frustrated the past few weeks working on finding a place for my Mom. She is now at a point where she needs more care and also more social activity. I have found a place that combines a place to live and also a day center in another location that will provide her with a doctor, OT, PT, Social Worker, Dentist, etc. My husband and I checked out the day center and we really liked what we saw. It was clean, didn’t smell and people were engaged in activities. So we decided to enroll her in the program. I gave Corina Mom’s SSN and she fax info over for a request to have an evaluation done. Then they would be able to better decide what would best serve her needs – assisted living, adult family home. Then she went on holiday for a week. I was supposed to hear from the group who would do the evaluation but I didn’t hear Boo.
It had taken 2 weeks to meet her and tour the facility, now another week before anything happened. When she came back from holiday, the fax never went through, so she called them and they said they would have a case manager assigned. She told me that if I didn’t hear anything by Friday I was to call and find out the name. Another week of waiting. To be honest, I was very antsy to put this all in place, but I finally realized that there is a reason why things are taking so long – I haven’t a clue what it is. It is hard to be patient but I am working on it. I called Friday, was given the name of the case manager and was transferred to her line. She was off that day, had been out in the field the day before and the day before that was a holiday. So it is wait until Monday.
Monday came and and I had a voicemail from the woman – except she was out in the field with a phone with no voicemail. The Universe sometimes has a strange sense of humor. We finally connected in the afternoon – only to find she thought Mom was ready for Medicaid and if she did the assessment (2 – 4 hours) she would have to place Mom by the end of the month. I was trying to explain that we were told it was to see what kind of living situation would best suit Mom’s needs. She said she would talk to Corina and tell her the situation. I emailed Corina to let her know what was happening and apparently on Tuesday was most upset talking to the manager. I didn’t hear about it until Tuesday afternoon when the case manager called me. Apparently she and her boss worked it out with Corina, though she wouldn’t be able to do the assessment until July 25th.
Meanwhile I had a bio of Mom to fill out the the place – not sure I answered everything because some things I don’t know. In between all the phone calls, etc., I went over and dropped the necessary paperwork they need. I had a heck of a time finding it – they rent space from a rehab and nursing center. The first time I dropped of paperwork, I went to the front desk but they had no idea who I was looking for when they checked their list. Well, they wouldn’t because they only have info on the people who are part of the rehab and nursing center. She sent me upstairs and I found it again from our tour the other week. Not so easy this week, there is construction going on in the hallway that takes you to the day center. I ended having someone show me how to get there and finally things looked familiar. I knew I could go through the cafeteria but I could figure out which door – we had come out through it rather than going in. The benefits were that I had a good walk and I delivered the paperwork. Now it is hurry up and wait again.
I have to keep telling myself I have put it in God’s hands to create a solution that works for everyone. When I keep running the squirrel wheel of worrying and trying to “fix it”, it is as if I keep snatching out of God’s hands. It is saying I don’t trust that the Universe takes care of me and the people involved. There other things that need attention as well and if I keep in the squirrel cage too long or too fast, I will be like the tiger in “little Black Sambo” and turn into butter.
I am getting a lot better at recognizing when I am getting into a funk and I just tell ego – thank you for sharing, I choose something else. I am tired of allowing myself to be sucked in by negative thoughts and feelings, mine as well as other people’s. I also am recognizing I have a choice and when I feel it from other people, I wrap myself in my golden bubble to protect myself because it is not about me. Even though I am frustrated and not sure how it is going to work out at times, I am definitely learning patience.
Gift of RA 