Posts Tagged ‘Dr. Cheryl’

Taking It As It Comes

October 24, 2014

I can think of a lot of things I could or need to do, but at the moment I don’t really have the energy.  One thing I have learned is that writing it out often helps a lot, even if it is just to express it and get it out of my mind.  I look back on yesterday as a good day.  I had a great show with Dave Gagley, my attorney friend and the one who helped me so much with Mom and her affairs.  It was fun and we had a caller with a good question.  I kept it to estate planning since it is only a half hour, but I would like to have Dave on again for other things.

I had time between finishing the show and my chiropractor appointment, so I read a Dick Francis book – didn’t want to put it down until I saw how it all came together.  I did enjoy my adjustment, Cheryl is gentle but very effective.  Lately I have been stiff and sore around my clavicle girdle – that is around my back, neck and shoulders.  Guess there is still tension and stress.  I decided to have coffee and something while I read, that was enjoyable.  I was also putting off going to the funeral home to “pick up Mom and Dad”.

I took Dad’s ashes on Friday and they combined them so when I scatter them from on the Sound from a ferry, they will be together.  I also arranged for some to go to Candy, she wants to do something for them around Dad’s birthday.  It is the only physical evidence of them now, their essences are not in the earthly container any more.  It is amazing how heavy ashes are – the box and container with Dad’s was really heavy and the two together was also heavy.  I am not sure what I am feeling other than uncomfortable – yet there is no reason to be uncomfortable.  All this is new to me, I am so glad to have Dave helping me navigate the legal stuff, Char has helped a lot because she did it for both her mom and dad.  So many people have offered whatever help I need, I need to sort out how that looks for me.

By the time I got home, I was exhausted.  It was after 3, too late to have a nap.  However, I was happy to go to bed early and glad I slept well last night.  It is a kind of droopy day today and I decided to just go with it rather than push against it.  I probably would have been better off having a lie down in the afternoon, but I didn’t.  However, bed looks pretty good right now.

Back later.

 

It is a whole lot later than I planned – it’s Friday afternoon.  I have been having naps and sleeping pretty well at night – that is all to the good.  Wednesday morning before leaving for Breakfast Club, I had an email from Ellen with a Flash From the Past – she sent a photo with everything blooming.

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It makes me think of my Mom and how much she enjoyed her flowers.  I had a real lift from it and I made sure I emailed Ellen back to let her know how much I appreciated it.

When I went to Breakfast Club, I wasn’t so down and droopy.  They are a wonderful group of colleagues and friends, it is often a lift to the week.   I will say the week got better after that.  Thursday I spent at Apple learning more about Pages, though she had several new ones who didn’t know how to do it.  I mostly played around the cards and looking on the internet for pictures, etc. – I didn’t have a particular project.  I was surprised to find myself really tired, I seem to be okay in the morning and then suddenly run out of energy.  I decided to have a nap and since we hadn’t turned on the furnace yet, it was cold and I was glad to curl up in the warm cocoon of the bed and sleep or doze.

Last night we went out to Mongolian Grill for dinner, we haven’t done that for quite a while and we enjoy it.  Also, no dishes to wash.  it has been pouring a lot this week, we managed to find a break in the action to go to dinner.  Eddie has had the brunt of it going to and from Mukilteo, even hail yesterday

I decided to turn on the furnace this afternoon, three layers of wool and a layer of cotton wasn’t keeping me warm.  We thought about waiting until the 1st of November, but I just decided I had had enough of being cold and turned it on.   Blessed warmth!  If I were brought up in the UK, 61 degrees would seem quite comfortable.  I went to breakfast this morning with Judith and Juno – I almost didn’t, but figured Why not.  I enjoyed it and then went over to the funeral home to pick up Mom’s death certificates.  Suddenly ran out of energy and thought about coming home for a nap.  I ended up calling people about being a guest on my show or being a sponsor.  Not sure how any of it will turn out – it is God;s hands.

It has been the kind of week I’ve had for the past couple of weeks or so.  Still not sure what I feel or how I am doing, just working my way through what’s happening this day without wondering about tomorrow.

Happy Butterflies!

September 15, 2014

It has come and gone this morning – I did my first radio show at 9:30.  I have been excited, apprehensive, impatient and so many other feelings.  Sometimes it felt as if it would never come and it was coming too fast – all at the same time.  The past three weeks I have been thinking about what I would say, then found myself ad libbing.  I had happy butterflies in my stomach – since fear and excitement feel the same, I chose to have excited, happy butterflies – they kept the downer butterflies from taking over.

I think I understand a bit what people mean when they prefer an audience because you can interact with them.  It was just Benny and me in the studio with a microphone in my face – no idea if there was any reaction.  A strange experience, so I will have to make sure I have notes with me next week.  All the things I had thought about saying were gone.  I talked a bit about my history, mentioned RA and also a bit about Mom and dementia as well as remembering to announce the name of the show, my name and where to find me.  I also remembered to mention twice about becoming a sponsor – that marketing is an investment, not a line item in the budget that can be jettisoned when things are tough .  I also remembered to say you are selfish if you don’t market, how are people who can benefit from what you offer find you?

I also met the three ladies who have the show before me – and now they are talking about ending their show after three years.  Everyone has been so friendly and helpful, I finally met Benny after some emails and hearing him for several years while I’ve listened to the station.  Interesting to say he is my producer.  It all feels a little unreal at the moment.  Mostly I am getting used to it and finding my rhythm.  I may try some phone calls in a week or two and see how that goes.  Then I will add guests – if I am comfortable doing the show, they will be.

After the break I was  trying to figure out what to say – a couple of giraffe moments but otherwise it was fine.  I asked people listening to send me a postcard or card to tell me who they are and where they are from – this station is in about 35 countries.  I haven’t wrapped my head around that one yet.  So it will be interesting to see if anything arrives by next Monday.  I had emails from Erik and talked to Brian, plus Benny sent me an email saying I did a great job – in all caps.

I have been feeling all kinds of emotions since I set this in motion – how amazing to find myself on the radio talking about my life with RA and other things.  Some it is just a feeling of unreality, that it is actually happening.  Because I was a bit nervous and had happy flutters, I sat quietly in the car when I arrived in the building where the studio is.  I sat quietly, took some deep breaths and asked the Universe to  give me what ever was necessary, I would just show up and get out of the way.  It turned out well and I am glad I did that before going upstairs.

I used to do that when I was doing speeches for the Conn. Chapter of the Arthritis Foundation.  I had a list of things I had to cover – basic facts of arthritis – and if time was short, I would jettison my stories.  I never knew who was in the audience and what they need to hear, so giving it to the Universe was the best way to go.  At times people come up to me and thank me or say they learned so much.  I also figured there were a lot of people who never said anything to me but heard what they needed at the time.  I’ve decided I have been doing my purpose in life without realizing it – much more effective that way.

I left the studio and went down to Kent to see Dr. Cheryl for my chiropractic adjustment.  A bit of a letdown – there was not any fanfare doing the show and then  they were on to the next show.  When I finished, I felt tired, so I came home and had a lie down – I must have slept because the next thing I knew, Eddie was home at 4.  It didn’t feel more than a half hour or 45 minutes.

We’ll see how it goes next week – Benny will be away and Taylor will be in the studio.  Lots of information and experience in a short time.

Highlights From This Week

March 10, 2013

It is now the beginning of a new week and as I look back on last week, my first thought was that nothing earthshaking happened.  I have been spending my time lately not doing a whole lot, I just want to sleep and work out this fatigue until I finally reach the last layer.  However, as I was in the shower this morning, I started thinking about a couple of things that happened.

Friday was an eventful day, I went to pick up Mom at 9:15 so both of us could have haircuts.  I know it was a bit early for her, but she was having breakfast when I arrived.  Apparently Judy didn’t tell she was going to have a haircut, that must have been why she said Mom aaas moody.  Mom couldn’t understand why she had to get up early, but the day actually worked out fine.  We had a lovely sunny day, it was such a treat to see and feel the sun again.

We went to see Michelle and I had the first haircut.  I asked Michelle to cut mine a little shorter on the top – so it is shorter than it has ever been.   I also wanted Michelle to cut Mom’s hair shorter in the back because last time she wanted it longer – it is harder to fix for Judy and to be honest, she has had that neglected look.  She is definitely not neglected.   Her silver hair was beautiful and she agreed it felt good to have it cut.

As I was writing the check, my cell rang – it was Kathy, she was at Fred Meyer and wondered what I was doing.  I told I had Mom with me and she suggested meeting us there to say Hello.  I told Mom but she didn’t really know who I meant – I knew she would recognize her when she saw Kathy.  Kathy took care of Mom a lot before she went into the Elderplace program, they developed quite a bond.  Mom was delighted to see her for a few minutes.

I took her back to the house, this she wasn’t disappointed it wasn’t here.  I had promised her a cheeseburger for lunch; I left to pick up Whopper Jrs and some fries – I decided to get her slice of apple pie because it is her favorite.  We ate lunch together and then I left to relax for the afternoon.

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Later in the afternoon I had a call from my rheumologist’s office, Jennifer said she checked my insurance and they will cover Orencia.  She says I have amazing coverage for my Medicare supplement – so glad I went with Vickie and State Farm!  I have an appointment to start it at 1 on Tuesday – I’ll visit Mom in the morning.  It is an infusion for about 45 minutes – I figure it may take a little longer to get things set up the first time.  Then I have an appointment with my rheumatologist at 10, then go up to the Infusion Room after for the next one.  It will be another 2 weeks for the 3rd one and then it will be every 4 weeks.  At the moment I am not scared nervous or apprehensive, more curious than anything else.  I figure to take it as it comes and see what happens.  I am also not excited and having high expectations either – working on keeping neutral and no emotion.

Also, there are two new people at Mom’s house – John with the cat left and Jennifer went to hospital and then to a nursing home close to her sister.  I have seen Mr. Byrd but not spoken to him because he is usually asleep in his chair.  The new woman is in a wheel chair and  although I smiled and waved to her, she didn’t really respond.  She too is in a wheel chair.  As time goes by it will be interesting to get to know them.

I have been asked to join the neighborhood bridge group as a permanent member.  I said I would and we are playing on Monday at Claire’s.  That means one of these days I will have it here – I’d like to have the new kitchen and possibly the upstairs painted, plus our own furniture.

We have been slowly cleaning out, though if you saw the house right now, it doesn’t look that way.  I have the office to clean out and organize as well as going through papers and things of Mom’s.  I have been putting it off because it feels awkward and if she knew she would be upset.  Mostly it has been a bit here, a bit there, mostly in the kitchen and a little in the desk.  It has been strange going through some things and deciding what to keep and what isn’t necessary any more.  I have that pack rat mentality that I might need it some day.

I definitely did things for myself – I saw Dr. Cheryl my chiropractor on Monday morning and had my massage with Debye on Thursday.  A lot of the time I didn’t feel like doing anything, so I just took it easy and relaxed.  Little by little there are  small bits of energy and look forward to bursts and a lot of energy again.

I am interested in what you have to say,  I definitely want to know.


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