Taking It As It Comes


I can think of a lot of things I could or need to do, but at the moment I don’t really have the energy.  One thing I have learned is that writing it out often helps a lot, even if it is just to express it and get it out of my mind.  I look back on yesterday as a good day.  I had a great show with Dave Gagley, my attorney friend and the one who helped me so much with Mom and her affairs.  It was fun and we had a caller with a good question.  I kept it to estate planning since it is only a half hour, but I would like to have Dave on again for other things.

I had time between finishing the show and my chiropractor appointment, so I read a Dick Francis book – didn’t want to put it down until I saw how it all came together.  I did enjoy my adjustment, Cheryl is gentle but very effective.  Lately I have been stiff and sore around my clavicle girdle – that is around my back, neck and shoulders.  Guess there is still tension and stress.  I decided to have coffee and something while I read, that was enjoyable.  I was also putting off going to the funeral home to “pick up Mom and Dad”.

I took Dad’s ashes on Friday and they combined them so when I scatter them from on the Sound from a ferry, they will be together.  I also arranged for some to go to Candy, she wants to do something for them around Dad’s birthday.  It is the only physical evidence of them now, their essences are not in the earthly container any more.  It is amazing how heavy ashes are – the box and container with Dad’s was really heavy and the two together was also heavy.  I am not sure what I am feeling other than uncomfortable – yet there is no reason to be uncomfortable.  All this is new to me, I am so glad to have Dave helping me navigate the legal stuff, Char has helped a lot because she did it for both her mom and dad.  So many people have offered whatever help I need, I need to sort out how that looks for me.

By the time I got home, I was exhausted.  It was after 3, too late to have a nap.  However, I was happy to go to bed early and glad I slept well last night.  It is a kind of droopy day today and I decided to just go with it rather than push against it.  I probably would have been better off having a lie down in the afternoon, but I didn’t.  However, bed looks pretty good right now.

Back later.

 

It is a whole lot later than I planned – it’s Friday afternoon.  I have been having naps and sleeping pretty well at night – that is all to the good.  Wednesday morning before leaving for Breakfast Club, I had an email from Ellen with a Flash From the Past – she sent a photo with everything blooming.

P1030973

It makes me think of my Mom and how much she enjoyed her flowers.  I had a real lift from it and I made sure I emailed Ellen back to let her know how much I appreciated it.

When I went to Breakfast Club, I wasn’t so down and droopy.  They are a wonderful group of colleagues and friends, it is often a lift to the week.   I will say the week got better after that.  Thursday I spent at Apple learning more about Pages, though she had several new ones who didn’t know how to do it.  I mostly played around the cards and looking on the internet for pictures, etc. – I didn’t have a particular project.  I was surprised to find myself really tired, I seem to be okay in the morning and then suddenly run out of energy.  I decided to have a nap and since we hadn’t turned on the furnace yet, it was cold and I was glad to curl up in the warm cocoon of the bed and sleep or doze.

Last night we went out to Mongolian Grill for dinner, we haven’t done that for quite a while and we enjoy it.  Also, no dishes to wash.  it has been pouring a lot this week, we managed to find a break in the action to go to dinner.  Eddie has had the brunt of it going to and from Mukilteo, even hail yesterday

I decided to turn on the furnace this afternoon, three layers of wool and a layer of cotton wasn’t keeping me warm.  We thought about waiting until the 1st of November, but I just decided I had had enough of being cold and turned it on.   Blessed warmth!  If I were brought up in the UK, 61 degrees would seem quite comfortable.  I went to breakfast this morning with Judith and Juno – I almost didn’t, but figured Why not.  I enjoyed it and then went over to the funeral home to pick up Mom’s death certificates.  Suddenly ran out of energy and thought about coming home for a nap.  I ended up calling people about being a guest on my show or being a sponsor.  Not sure how any of it will turn out – it is God;s hands.

It has been the kind of week I’ve had for the past couple of weeks or so.  Still not sure what I feel or how I am doing, just working my way through what’s happening this day without wondering about tomorrow.

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2 Responses to “Taking It As It Comes”

  1. Charlotte Trayer Says:

    I thought your program went quite well this week, Liz (I sent you an email; hope it got there). I had actually set my alarm because I kept forgetting you’re on on Mondays (mornings are not my best time!), so I could listen.

    I’m glad I was able to help; even though things were different in some ways (my folks had burials and funerals, yours had cremations and celebrations of life), you go thru the same kinds of emotions (and, yes, emotional upheavals, too). “Down and droopy” is quite common at this time of loss–your mom has now been gone long enough for you to realize, this really is It, but of course the grieving won’t really be over for a long time, although those times of intense sadness do come less often and less severely as time passes. In fact, I don’t know that you ever really Completely stop grieving; just today, for instance, we had cleaned the church, and I played the piano for a while. As I played “Fur Elise”, I suddenly missed my dad SOOOO much!! It really quite surprised me. After all, he’s been gone 9-1/2 years!! So, you see, it can still happen. Thank heavens the grief at this point isn’t nearly as intense and doesn’t last nearly as long as it did nine years ago–or even five years ago! So, take heart, it does get better.

    As to the furnace, we never turn ours off–if it gets below 70 during the day or 62 at night, it kicks on. I just get cold much too easily to not have the heat running. And, frankly, 72 would be more comfortable for me than 70, but so far I’ve managed. I’ve always been cold. Sometimes I get so cold, I can’t sleep, and that’s when I add one more blanket or another layer of clothes. It really doesn’t have to be very cold in the house, either–if I’m starting to come down with something, I get Cold! Thank goodness, I’m married to a “furnace”!! LOL

    • Lee Kaplanian Says:

      Thank You Char, I did receive your email. Lately my response time has not been as on the ball as usual. I appreciate your comments on the show – I am getting positive feedback and that feels good. I have been working on inviting guest and talking to potential sponsors, just at a much slower pace.

      I am so glad not to be shivering any more – it’s cold and raw, the rain continues and I enjoy being warm. I’m married to a furnace as well – that was fine until hot flashes, now he can easily be to much warmth for me.

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