Posts Tagged ‘Julia Cameron’

Stubborn – Another Viewpoint

April 12, 2013

Since I wrote the post on stubborn, I have learned a few different ways of looking at it from other angles.  My sister Candy sent me this after reading the post:

“Perhaps stubborn could also be strong with the ability to hang in there. That’s the positive flip side and that’s what I have seen you do in the last few years, especially with all you have gone through helping Mom and healing from the hip and making huge changes spiritually. There’s always a flip side to the negative. Julia Cameron has an exercise where you take the negative labels and turn them into their positive opposite. I don’t see you as a victim, but a victor. You are empowering yourself by changing your limited thinking for new ideas and new ways to look at old situations. And that takes a bit of stubbornness and strength to do that in spite of all the doubts and people who do not support you in the changes you are making.”

I heard someone on the radio yesterday illustrate stubborn as not listening to one’s inner self.  She was working as a nurse in an Alzheimer’s facility and kept hearing “Go to Evergreen Hospital”. She kept putting it off until she broke her wrist rollerblading. She decided to go just for the heck of it, they hired her as an oncology nurse on the spot and were also willing to wait 6 weeks while her wrist healed.  It is knowing something to do that will make a difference but putting it off for every reason that one can think up.

I know I need to clean out my office and not only organize it but also throw things away that no longer serve me.  I know I  have a pack rat mentality; I come by it honestly from my parents.  I realize I keep waiting to have energy to do it, something that is taking a long time to arrive.  The practical part of me says I need to just start small and the energy will come.  The other part of me keeps saying how tired I am and I just want to sleep.  The negative part of me seems to be the louder voice – it takes more practice to listen and pay attention to the positive voice.

I also need to clean out the house, now that my Mom no longer lives here, and make it our home with our furniture, etc.  Talk about a daunting task!  My husband and I keep saying we will do things after the kitchen is done.  But I also realize we have to clear out the kitchen of everything in all the drawers, cabinets and pantry.  My positive and negative voices are shouting at each other.  Positive says most of it needs to go; the negative side says we might need it later so it is better to keep it.  Yes, I know I have to decide which voice to listen to in spite of knowing both sides have some good reasons.  I don’t want to expend the energy to reenforce more of the positive  voice,  though I know  the good points of the negative voice.

I keep saying to myself and focusing on how tired I am and how little energy I have at this point.  Certainly I know those negative messages keep piling up and definitely keep me feeling tired.  It’s looonnnnnng past time to change my thoughts and focus to  being ” wide awake, full of energy and ready to go”.  I have noticed the sunshine helps lift me to have more positive thoughts and feel energy.   Instead of just waiting for the energy to come, I know it is important to make different choices.  Yet it feels as if it takes too much energy and effort to start it.  So here I sit, knowing it is my choice to do what is required and not really doing anything about it.

The positive of all this is that I may actually be changing my thoughts and focus already, it may just be slower than I want it to be.  I tend to want visible, measurable change rather than waiting for the gradual change to be noticeable.  I am feeling that way about Orencia – I had my 3rd infusion on Tuesday but there doesn’t seem to be a discernible difference, just bits of well-being occasionally.  Is it stubborn or just impatience?   Seems this is still a developing  process – it will be interesting to see what else shows up to show other kinds of stubborn.

Small Things – Part 2

January 1, 2012

Awhile back I wrote bout how it is often the small things that make a big difference, not the big, complicated ones.  I just discovered how to create tags for this blog.  I figured out how to activate Zementa so it can generate tags for me.  Unfortunately they don’t seem to really fit  what I am writing about and it feels as if it would lead someone down a rabbit hole.  Just looking at the list for this paragraph makes me wonder – small business, shopping, consumer, insurance, rate of return.  Did I miss something?  So I will work on my own, check their suggestions and do my best not to send people down a rabbit hole.

One thing I have found that really helps with sore muscles and joints when I have overdone is arnica gel.   It has been around for centuries and has been used by a lot of people.  I find if I rub it in to those places I think are going to be stiff before I go to bed, I am either not stiff or less stiff in the morning.  Now sometimes I can’t always tell where the stiffness is going to be and then in the morning I know.  During the day when muscles are sore or whatever it is under there that hurts, I can rub it in and after a bit I feel the relief.  Now I will admit, if it is really bad, it hasn’t seem to make a dent in it – those are the times when nothing seems to relieve anything.  That is a poor-me-osis day, we all know how that feels.

I learned that germs, especially cold and flu germs, don’t like an alkaline atmosphere.  When I feel that “coming down with something” feeling, whether it is a cold or flu, I go for the baking soda right away to nip it in the bud.  It is 1/4 teaspoon of baking soda in a small glass of water, another one an hour later and then another 12 hours later.  Now sometimes it doesn’t seem to quite nip it, so I either do another round or just have one morning and evening.  It really seems to work.  The past few weeks I have been doing this off and on – I can’t seem to shake it completely.  I am fine for a bit, then I have to do the round again.  Some suggest having alkaline in your water all the time as a preventative, not a bad idea.

Sometimes I find myself stuck in an negative attitude about someone or something and have a hard time turning it positive.  So I ask God to change my attitude.  Some days it is an attitude adjustment while once in awhile it is an attitude overhaul.  When we moved to an apartment in Torrance, California; it was a new complex and it was a larger one than we had before.  I remember standing waiting for the elevator and thinking “I don’t like it here”.  I didn’t have any particular reason why, maybe it was just having to start my life over again.  Anyway, I asked God to help change my attitude to positive, then promptly forgot about it (that is often a crucial part).  A few days later I suddenly realized I liked where I was and it came as quite a surprise.

Several years ago, my sister Candy Paull gave me Julia Cameron’s “The Artist’s Way”.  One of the things Julia advocates is morning pages – three handwritten pages  every morning.  You just start writing about whatever you want – rants, raves, complaints, interesting discoveries, insights, ideas, whingeing – without worrying about  right or wrong.  There is no right or wrong, only the doing.   If you tend to do a lot of whingeing and complaining, after awhile you get tired of it and find yourself writing things that are more positive.  It is also a great way to bring out ideas for things without sitting and thinking, trying to create something.  You never  have to go back and read what you write – it is the act of writing that is important.  Remember, you are a writer if you write, not if you are published.  I will admit to not doing morning pages for quite awhile – there is always the excuse my shoulder hurts, I don’t have time in the morning,etc.  Well, write during the day or night!  She recommends getting up and doing it the first things before your ego has a chance to wake up.

When I am scared, there is that fluttery  butterfly feeling in my stomach.   When it becomes a full blown “Get me the hell out of here!” fear, that little butterfly calls in all his friends and they all start doing aerobatics in my stomach.  What I have since learned is that excitement has the same feeling!  So now when I am scared or really afraid, I change gears and see it as excitement.  Simple but not easy.

I will work on a new list for another time.  I am always open to suggestions.


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