What Day Is This?


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Bunny doesn’t have anything to do with the subject, she is comforting and we have been spending a lot of time together lately.

Lately, I have been feeling very mixed up, the days don’t feel the same any more.  Yesterday I was home all day while Eddie was working – but it was Saturday.  Felt odd.  Today is his usual Sunday at the LeMay Car Museum, that’s feeling a little more normal.  Then again, what’s normal?  I had a rocky start to last week, the result of a small tumble that I was able to get myself upright again without outside help.  Then I had an intuitive reading and that brought more after effects, so I was feeling  out of sync on several levels.  Then Eddie took Tuesday off and had a meeting; not a typical Tuesday so I lost track of my day.  That part is on me.  As the week progressed I felt better and had a really good day Thursday.  Unfortunately, I could not go to sleep that night, so Friday I was dragging.

I slept very well Friday night and pretty well last night – wish I knew what causes me to not be able to sleep.  It has gotten so I don’t quite know what day it feels and what the actual day is.  I haven’t been looking at my calendar much, that may contribute to the situation.  Maybe it is just a matter of finding my footing again, things have been in rather an upheaval since Mom’s passing.

I also have a tendency to overanalyze things instead of “going with flow” and letting things be what they are at that moment.  Plus, I need to give myself a break and not think in terms of what I am “supposed” to do or “should” do.  It is an old set of patterns that I choose to replace with knowing I am simply in this moment and all is well.  I am now old enough to do and say what I want because I am less and less concerned about other people’s opinions.  It doesn’t mean I’m rude, simply that if I disagree, I will say so.

I thought I had finally published my new website for my radio show findingthegiftsshow.com on Monday, only to find it wasn’t online after all.  So I have been in website hell for several days trying to figure out  why it isn’t online, why I can’t arrange an email and if I can upload shows for an archive.  I also figured out that to listen live to my show, I have to  put it this way 1150kknw.com/listen.  I am still frustrated about my archives, can’t seem to download the shows to my computer – another trip to Apple to find the answer.  Maybe by then, Larry will have figured out how to make a podcast for iTunes.  This is definitely a learning experience!

Thursday I did Chat with the website group to see what the problem was.  It turns out I have Builder but not the right combination of things to make it work properly.  There was a very nice young man named Jonathan who helped me so much, was very patient and got my site up and online.  then he sent me info on creating an email and also how to upload audio.  I created the email but my computer says it has no app for the download of the audio – now I have to figure out where it needs to go on my computer.  Another learning experience.

You have no idea how happy I was to see that website working!  I created it myself, I know it still needs a lot of work, the point was have something for people to check out and see who I am and what I do.  I still have a list of things I need to add, the main part was to have it up and running.   I felt I was in website hell for quite a while, once I can have proper archives, I will feel a whole lot better.

The week was physically uncomfortable, the end of the week was mentally uncomfortable.  That’s not to say I didn’t have comfortable and happy moments, I mostly remember the uncomfortable ones.  Now there is a program for you – I’ve spent so much of my life looking at the negative side, I forget how many gifts there were in the week.  Not always big, momentous ones, often small, delightful ones.  As I look at this post, I realize I mostly wrote about things that were uncomfortable this week – either it was just the telling of a story or a way of releasing a lot of the stress of the week.

Now it is time to start looking at the gifts in the week, does anyone want to read about my difficulties, even if I put humor in it?  The old patterns are hard to recognize and to replace with positives, it means I need to notice and observe to see them.

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2 Responses to “What Day Is This?”

  1. Charlotte Trayer Says:

    We are creatures of habit, aren’t we, Liz?! It really took some getting used to, once Ron retired. Now, although he no longer has much of a schedule (no Crime Watch any more, for instance), it’s my own schedule that helps keep me on track. And, I, too, have nights when I have trouble sleeping. Last night I was in bed for over and hour and couldn’t sleep, so I got up and took an extra-strength tylenol, and then I slept. One night last week I felt like I was only dozing until about 5:30 or so….hate nights like that!

    I’m glad you’re getting your web site up and running. I sent you a brief email via your web site. Have you seen it yet?

    My week has been uncomfortable, too–mostly my knees and hip. My left knee would twinge when I bent it to go down the stairs, kind of behind and to the outside of the knee–I figure a pinched nerve. I was baby-stepping down the stairs, then suddenly, that was gone, pretty much. Then yesterday my right knee was giving me fits (the one that was “cleaned out” a couple of years ago), but that seems to have been from the weather change that was coming, as it’s okay now.

    Well, guess I’ve nattered on long enough. While I’ve been composing this, I’ve also been messaging with a friend, our son, and our former daughter-in-law. How’s That for multi-tasking?! LOL

    love, Char

    • Lee Kaplanian Says:

      It seems life is a matter of changing and adapting, though there are times when I wonder if my “Adapter” is on the fritz at the moment. Though it does seem to be a bit less rocky because I don’t always know what will show up and how; I am more willing to see what unfolds. We spent so much of our lives in “should, ought and must”, it is relief not to have to fit someone’s else’s standard or agenda. It is a matter of noticing when it happens and being able to say “No, that doesn’t work for me”.

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