Posts Tagged ‘knee’

Bits And Bobs

July 6, 2014

brain-gear-2

This is one of those times when I want to write but haven’t an idea what to write about.  Usually something has happened, I have learned or discovered something, someone said or did something  unusual – none of it comes to mind.  I ave noticed the moles are back – they have been digging in the bed by the porch and I can see the holes, not just a pile of dirt.  They are busy little bodies, that’s for sure.

I have been working on my RA book; I think I have a better handle on the program now.  I decided to use my sister Ellen’s ocean pictures for the cover and also the chapter headings – looks pretty good.  When I feel I have the hang of the program, I will work on the book about dementia – both Ellen and Candy have flower photos and I think those will fit Mom because she loved gardening.  As for my garden, well that’s another story.  Nothing else has been done since I messed up my knee – I don’t think it is the best thing to do at the moment.  I did receive the flower seed mats and I have decided to use quilt block patterns to set them out – maybe with white stones to outline them.  I need to cut them in squares and diamonds ready to be put down.

As for the knee from my slide; I am doing better, I just started my third week of it.  I have been seeing Cheryl, my chiropractor and she has helped; mostly it is resting and taking care of myself.  I don’t do a lot in a day, just what I need to do and I have been having naps at times.  I’ve been using my cane when I go out, around the house I do okay.  It was hard to bend my knee to walk and now it is slowly getting better.  I think of the things I need and want to do, then I feel too tired to do anything about it.  I keep forgetting it takes a lot of energy to deal with it and rest is so important.  This too will pass – it always does.

I look around the office and keep thinking how much I need to clean out and organize.  There are things I no longer need and when I take the clutter out of my mind and home, there will be room for new things and ideas.  I am a pack rat, though getting less so – it’s the sentimental streak that gets me.  That is how I feel about the things someone gave me, or I used to use, etc.  Too much emotion invested in things.  One thing I have been learning through Mom and dementia is to take the emotion out of it.  Taking it personally is also part of it.  Now I am working on taking the emotion out of things – I have pictures and they  have been part of my life since I can remember.  But I am living my life, not my parents’ life – I want to have my own things around me.  Not sure I remember what I have any more, 12 years is a long time.

It is our life now – Eddie’s and mine.  I guess I feel a bit disloyal selling or giving away Mom and Dad’s things.  But it is also disloyal to Eddie to not have our things upstairs.  I feel caught in the middle a bit, I want to move on with our life together.  I think I am finally at that point I am ready to let go for myself.  The advice to people is to wait a year before making any major decisions – it is almost 2 years since Mom moved to the adult family home.  She won’t be coming home or need anything now, she isn’t really aware of anything outside where she lives.  (I think I am actually writing this to myself).

This is probably the first July 4th in quite a while that we have had sun for several days.  We tend to joke that summer doesn’t start until July 5th, this is one summer that seems to be more “normal” (if you can define that).  The sun and clouds have been playing hide go seek with each other, sometimes it is a hazy sun – not my favorite.  We actually had almost 90 on Tuesday – much to warms for me.  since I found out we have a furnace fan, I turn that on to help cool things off upstairs and bring some warmth and dryness to the basement.  It works pretty well, so Eddie and I were comfortable sleeping that night.  If it is going to be partly cloudy, then make it clear blue sky, bright sun and white puffy clouds.  I don’t mind the clouds covering the sun for a bit – it has a lighter feel,  hazy sunshine reminds me too much of L.A. and smog or East Coast with hazy, hot and humid.  I think go it as the difference between having a bad headache and feeling great.

This seems to be a bit of a mind dump – just things running through my head.  It would be a whole lot longer if I wrote about everything whirling around up there.

A Short Reunion

June 24, 2014

As a result of my slide, I have become reacquainted with my cane.  It took a little practice, but I’m doing pretty well, not tripping over it so much.  It has been hard to walk since Friday afternoon and the cane has helped.  It was not my fondest wish to have this reunion, on the other hand, I am glad the cane is there.  I have had it in my car trunk for the past two years, occasionally I use it if I am not sure of the  of the terrain or if there will be a lot of people.

Black_Cane_T_HandleIt’s not a fancy cane, I bought it at Rite Aid for not too much.  I made sure it was adjustable and during out-patient rehab I asked the therapist how to measure to make sure it is the right height.

I haven’t done a lot of exercising, though Saturday I  went in a couple of places.  I was tired when we came home, so I had a lie down.  Eddie wanted to walk by the river in Renton so he could check out the flight line for the 737’s – I was quite happy sitting in the car reading.  Then we went to Panera for coffee, about the extent of walking.  Yesterday I went to see Cheryl, my chiropractor.  I explained what happened and how it had been feeling, so she worked on different places that connect with the knees.   I had an Apple One To One at 11 to work on my book.  I seem to have found something that seems to stump them a bit.  Both Larry and I learned a lot about iBooks Author – says he likes a challenge.  I told him I was ready to forget the whole thing because it has driven me crazy – but I am not about to let technology win.  I decided to go home, have something to eat and have a lie down – sometimes it is smart to do that after an adjustment.  I am glad I did because I was a bit more tired than I realized.

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One of the aspects of  RA and pain is how varied it is – with this situation at the moment, the pain has been different every day.  Friday it was sharp pain in the outside of my knee, yet Saturday it felt as if I had a tight clamp below my knee.  Sunday the clamp was in the middle of the knee and at times there was a sharper pain in the middle of the knee.  Yesterday the clamp was around the knee and today the clamp is mostly gone but the outside of the knee feels as if someone is hitting my knee each time I bend it.  That is one thing that really baffles me about RA – it is never the same from one day to the next.

Today is doctor morning, I am going to see my primary doc for a check up – he has been pleased with my progress, but not sure what he will say about this latest incident.  I don’t plan to do any “running around”, just buy some cookies for Mom for tomorrow.  She was alert and doing well last Friday, though I noticed she was in the wheel chair.  Apparently her knee was bothering her, so they use the chair.  Otherwise they make sure she uses the walker so she won’t forget how to walk.

LATER

I saw the doc and he was pleased with me – not necessarily the slide but my blood work, blood pressure, etc.  Unfortunately he weighed me and I am 15 pounds heavier – Ye God’s and Little Fishes!!!!  I suddenly realized the weight gain a week or two ago – I can’t believe I let it happen so easily.  I have spent a lot of the last few months  working a lot at the computer and not getting very much exercise; now the knee as well.  Yet I have noticed I don’t eat as much because I get full much faster and I opt for fruit for dessert at night.

I went to the store for Mom’s double stuffed Oreos and came home – I am noticing my knee is now on the side, a little below the joint and it feels like badly bruised bones.  Cheryl always says it takes some time for the body to integrate whatever happens and the next day may be uncomfortable.  I have an open house at Breakfast Club – I am hoping things will be more comfortable in the morning.  Afterward I will go see Mom.  This is not the time to put up a facade of “I’m doing fine” because I’m not.  It has worn me out and I am dragged out tired and not always sleeping well; I have trouble finding a comfortable position at night and walking is not particularly comfortable either.

I know I will come through this eventually and be more comfortable – it gets old very quickly to be hampered like this.  I have a quiet week and don’t have much on the calendar because I know rest is important.  I dealt with many other times like this one, though it doesn’t get easier and I haven’t “gotten used to it” either.   However, it doesn’t last forever, just often feels as if it does.

THIS TOO WILL PASS.


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