Posts Tagged ‘Happiness’

What Am I Thinking?

July 17, 2010

I was listening to Conscious Talk radio on my way to an appointment and heard the last bit of Krysta Gibson of New Spiritual Journal.  I know her through my networking at the Holistic Chamber of Commerce and Good Company lunches and enjoy what she writes.  That morning she was talking about  Life as a journey , to enjoy the ride and look out the window at everything around you.  It isn’t a big struggle to attain an monumental goal using all your energy and might, then there is nothing left to work towards.  Those goals are stops on the way.  (My apologies Krysta of I have misquoted you.)  That’s what I heard and it made me realize I haven’t been enjoying the ride or looking out the window at all the cool things of my life.  Instead I have been always looking at  the future, when I have less pain, when I am flexible, when I have more energy, etc.  Not a comfortable thought because I may have missed opportunities for myself and also to help others.  Too focused on me, but on the negatives – just as Ego loves it.  When I had my 60th birthday three years ago, I decided I wanted the last third of my life to be very different – filled with joy, fun, love and adventure.  I have done many self development things and certainly Ike Pono has really made a difference – it keeps on helping me to have the life I decided I wanted on my birthday.  The difficulty is I am still operating on a lot of the old mindsets, somebody else’s training and fears.  I came across something this morning that  was a slap upside the head, a very vivid reminder about what I have been thinking a feeling so much of my life.  The good news was, there was also the way to change that mindset into a positive thought pattern.  Now I would love to tell you I thought it up all by myself, but I didn’t.  I have to thank Brian Vaszily of The Intense Experiences for this  – he called it a mediation.

Success Manifesto

Life is how I am.
If I keep struggling to get more, my life will be a struggle filled with lack.

I have all I need, I am grateful, and anything more is just more of a gift.

Success Manifesto

If I hold anger in, anger will increasingly weigh my life down.

I accept that anger happens, but I always release it and so I fly.
If I keep telling myself I am a survivor, I will then merely survive.

I am born to thrive in my life, and so in all I do I accept that I will thrive.

If I let guilt control me, I will never live the happy life that is mine.
I consider what matters carefully, then act upon only one voice: my own.

If I keep repeating that there is never enough time, time will always run out.
I have been given all the time I need in life; it is up to me to use it wisely.
If I worry about what might go wrong in my life, the worry itself will shrivel me.

I am honest, able and complete; with that I meet the challenges that do come.
If I see certain steps I take as failing, I will hesitate to move forward.

All movement is forward movement in my life, and so I keep moving.
If I give in to my fears, my life will be a fearful place.

I move through fears that would block me from me, and so I live free.

If I keep longing for luck, my life will seem unlucky to me.

I am here, I can choose to do, and that is all the luck I need.

Life is not something that happens to me.

Life is how I am.

Thank You Brian, I needed to hear that and I realize it is something I can read every day to keep myself in balance and who knows, learn to enjoy the ride of this life as I look out the window.

And so shall it be.

Is it just me?

May 4, 2010

This seems to be a real wagon train period, the trail has been full of potholes, the wheel broke and the trail isn’t very clear, only a couple of miles a day.  Now I promised I wouldn’t whinge and I won’t.  It is simply that I don’t have all the answers or have it made – I too have those times when it doesn’t seem there is any progress or difference and it can be discouraging.  I would love to have a good cry and get it all out, at the moment that isn’t an option.  But what I have learned is that writing it out often clears it all out and then I can feel the sun come out again.

There is a good chance that ego is creeping in to take over again – she is furious that I have finally begun to understand she is the false self, not the real me.  Eckert Tolle says that just by observing what is happening, ego begins to lose her power.  At  a low point, it can feel as if she is fully in control and I don’t have the energy to notice, much less work on finding the gratitude and positive aspects of my life at that moment.  There is another part where he writes about a woman who came to him and was so depressed and despondent, she poured out all her woes to him and he listened, free of judgement.  Then he told her something that has stuck in mind my and I have used it many times.  As I am writing this paragraph, that’s what I needed to remember very early this morning when I was uncomfortable and having trouble sleeping.

When the woman had come to the end of her story, he said: “At this moment, this is how you feel.  There is nothing you can do about the fact that at this moment this is how you feel.  Now, instead of wanting this moment to be different from the way it is, which adds more pain to the pain that is already there, is it possible for you to completely accept this is what you feel right now?”  The woman said she wouldn’t accept it.  He then told her: “I am not asking you to do anything.  All I am asking is that you find out whether it is possible for for you to allow those feelings to be there.  In other words, if you don’t mind being unhappy, what happens to the unhappiness?”.  After a few minutes she realized that although she was still unhappy, there was a space around it.  It seemed to matter less.

I have remembered that and thought, can I just accept this is how I feel at the moment, without wanting it to be different?  It is a different way to see it and although I haven’t gotten to the point of accepting it wholeheartedly yet, I know I feel better shortly after that.  That’s what I forgot to do last night in my discomfort and feeling discouraged.  That definitely opened the door for ego to creep in and try to take over control again.  Sometimes it is only a matter of being willing to accept it – being willing makes a big difference.  Maybe later the trail will be more defined and the ruts and mud holes are gone for a bit.  Those mountains are bound to look closer soon.


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