Posts Tagged ‘discomfort’

Plates Spinning

August 17, 2014

At times I feel as if I have several plates spinning on sticks – similar to the  people Ed Sullivan used to have on his program.  Some days I feel like this:

Plate-Spinner

Everything is nicely balanced and I am in as much control as I can be.  Then there are days like today and the past week, I haven’t felt much control and there doesn’t seem to be enough time to keep them all spinning properly:

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I could give a name to each plate – cleaning out Mom & Dad’s stuff, my new website for my business, a new website for my radio show, understanding how the sponsoring works and finding sponsors, doing Eddie’s new report (he isn’t doing the Round Up but calling it The Kaplanian Report, not associated with the Future of Flight), things for Mom, personal business stuff, Apple Group Training and also One to One,my blog, my book, Kaplanian International stuff, etc.

This week I have been  doing a lot of clearing out bureau drawers – the stuff my parents kept!  All kinds of cards they received and Mom had so many cards ready to send for almost any occasion, I am going to give them to the Goodwill so other people can use them.  I have bags of papers to put in recycle – our wheelie bin is full to the top and I have 2 other bags ready – plus things I have put away in boxes to see if my sister Candy wants them.  I found 2 photographs from North American Aircraft in an original envelope that is going to the Boeing Archives, lovely to know they will be pleased to have them.

My parents kept things even though they were worn out, some things had never been used and there is a beautiful  grey wool yard length – very fragrant with moth balls.   And letters from people, from Mom & Dad to his parents, letters from both his sisters and letters from his Uncle James to Dad’s father.  I had a hard time reading the hand writing, I am putting them away to read later since I need to work on the clearing out.

Along with that, I was having a lot of discomfort – the toilet and I became close companions on thursday, Friday and even into Saturday, though not as much.  The tummy was unhappy and I was really tired.  Yesterday after we did all our stuff, I came home and crawled into bed with Bunny to sleep some of it off – and I was better when I woke up.  Not sure what happened because I didn’t eat anything  different.  I have been very careful how much I eat, the tummy gets uncomfortable.  I have been using water and baking soda which seems to help.  maybe the side effects of veggies.

We finally had rain this week, blessed soaking rain.  I have been feeling very dry and parched and it was so lovely to hear the raining really coming down as I was lying in bed.  Rain is so refreshing and makes things feel washed clean.  Now it will be 81 today and 83 tomorrow, then back to the 70’s – that’s quite okay with me.

I have been playing phone tag to arrange a haircut for Mom, finally made it for Tuesday.  Her hair is getting long and needs cutting – not sure how she will be when the time comes.  She is very feisty when anyone wants to do anything for her – I make sure I am there for the hair cut and sit beside her.  There is no way to tell how she will be from one minute to the next, one day to the next.  I saw her on Friday and she was rather sleepy, though chocolate sounded very good to her.  She was cuddling a stuffed dog or cat and Judy had put a chair on each side of her, she could easy fall to the side.  She seems to mumble more than before.   I don’t know how much she knows that Fern died last week.  Fern was 102 and having a lot of pain in her body, as well as feeling alone since she was used to family all around.

I’ve been wondering if  visiting Mom and clearing out things has had an emotional and mental effect as well as physical.  It maybe stirring up a lot of old programs, messages and memories that I had not been conscious of for quite awhile.  The bottom drawer of the desk is definitely a proud parent’s drawer; all the drawings and things the three of us girls have done since we were very young are there.

I saw Mom on Monday and then went to my Caregiver’s Support Group.  I’m so glad I did, it helps so much.  I told them what was going on with Mom and that I feel as if I am walking in thigh deep water.  It feels more than just fatigue, but there is more to it – I can’t really name it at the moment.  I also realize each time I go that I have it relatively easy compared to the others.  They have to deal with so much more, how they cope I can only imagine.  I will admit, I have periods of feeling I have such a difficult time – usually when I am tired and worn down.  I haven’t figured out how to actually become rested while still doing what I need to do.  Is that what’s called the horns of a dilemma?

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I Call It A Slide!

June 22, 2014

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An interesting  experience on Wednesday, with ongoing repercussions.  In February I passed the 2 year mark of not falling since my hip – a 30 per center.  I have done quite well so far, then  late Wednesday afternoon I went to get up from the office chair to have dinner and I found myself sliding.  I had socks on and I didn’t brace myself, so I began to slowly slide to the floor.  I knew I was in trouble but rather than panic, I was careful to see that I didn’t twist anything and only landed on the floor with a gentle bump on my left bun.  Well, that left me in a predicament about getting myself upright again.  I have had to do it before, I just walked my hips across the floor into the kitchen and over to the basement door.

Eddie was in the kitchen getting dinner ready and when he saw me working my way to the kitchen, his question was “What are you doing down there?”.   I told him I was getting myself upright, but he didn’t understand how I was going to do it.   He opened the basement door and I went to the top step, managed to get myself onto the landing and then put my feet two steps down and pulled myself up with the help of the railing.  Voila!  I was standing upright again.  I wasn’t sure how things would be after my adventure – Eddie definitely doesn’t think I should be out without a keeper, but life happens.  Life is uncertain, that’s why one eats dessert first.

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Thursday I was fine and Friday morning I was doing well – though I did hear and feel a crunch in my right knee.  I went to visit Mom and then did a a couple things I need to do.  I had walked around for a while and began to feel it in my legs, so I went to have some coffee and read bait before going on to my next item.  My legs were better, but I decided on only one more stop and then head home.  I was glad to be home and I noticed my right knee really bothering me – it has been a while since I have had that kind of pain.

I didn’t sleep very well Friday night and I had to take some Advil to relieve some of the pain.  Saturday we went out to do our usual chores, I used my cane for the first time in 2 years, took a little practice to get the hang of it again.  I stayed in the car a lot and was glad to be home again.  This morning it is still uncomfortable, but I did sleep very well last night – plus a nap yesterday afternoon when we came home.  Tomorrow I will see Dr. Cheryl and I hope she can help; she did last Monday when my hip and the back of my knee were bothering me.

That’s my story and I’m sticking with it.

Looks as though I will have to take it easy a bit to keep from making it worse.  I have another appointment at Apple tomorrow for working on my book; the more I use iBook Author, the more I learn as well as new things to frustrate me.For the RA book, I am changing my whole idea of the cover – I  am using Ellen’s ocean photos – except she usually does horizontal and the cover and Chapter pages use vertical photos.  I have found several for the Chapter headings, now I have to figure out how tot get the Table of Contents to work properly.  I am either going to become very expert at it or chuck the whole mess in the bin.  I want to learn and understand how to use it so the next 2 books will come together more easily.  I will also have to learn how to do the form for Amazon, Barnes & Noble, etc.; a whole different set up.

 

A Bright Spot In The Week

March 3, 2013

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We are having a lovely sunny day after yesterday when the sun fought valiantly to come out of the clouds – unfortunately it lost and it began to rain.  But today is gorgeous and clear – though at some point this afternoon the clouds will be back.  So I am enjoying the times when the sun comes out for however long and I am grateful for it.

A couple of days ago I saw a small clump of primroses out and the first crocus – it may only be the beginning of march but they have decided it is spring.  Suddenly we have a bed with purple, lavender and white with purple stripes coming up and blooming.  The pictures I took I can’t get off my phone, so I need to figure out how to do it.  So I check Google and found some that are close to what mine are.  It has been a mild winter for us – some very nippy days and nights and even a dusting of snow 2 days in a row.  Last year spring didn’t cone until Junuary because it was so cold and rainy for so long.

Let’s just say it has not been a stellar or comfortable week.  I woke up on Monday morning with the most painful shoulder and neck – I don’t know if I slept wrong or something happened I wasn’t aware of at the time or afterwards.  At that moment, the cause was not on the top of my agenda, the knives and ice picks were clamoring for attention.  Thank goodness I had an appointment that morning with Dr. Cheryl, my chiropractor.  She helped some and then had me rest a bit while she adjusted another client.  Then she came back to me and did a bit more work.  I really appreciated the extra time.

She suggested I rest and eat lightly, tea and/or broth, and just relax.  So I did.  It was still uncomfortable but a little better, at least I could turn my neck again.  I had a lie down and probably rested, maybe slept for about 50 minutes.  Then the phone rang.  I got up and answered it – it was Mom’s doc at the Center.

She had seen Mom at the Center that day and noticed the lump in her breast had gotten bigger since her first exam in August.  She wanted my permission to schedule a mammogram to make sure  exactly what’s going on.  I have had fluid filled cysts several times myself, so I wonder if it is that or something else.  I could have said No since she is 94, but it is better to find out what is happening.  They will let me know in about 2 weeks when the appointment will be.  The part I am concerned about is the mammogram, I don’t think Mom has ever had one and at this point I am not sure how she will perceive it.  The doc wanted to know if I would be there and I said “Absolutely”!

I am glad to report I was feeling a lot better on Tuesday morning, though there were still knives and ice picks.  I went to see Mom in the afternoon and took her the baby doll I had arranged for in September for her birthday.  At the time she didn’t quite know what to make of it.  This time she was very pleased with the baby girl in pink.  My friend Charlotte gave me one of her Lee Middleton dolls, I was overwhelmed.  As I watch  Mom hold the baby, she smiled and was delighted.  She wanted to show her off to everyone.

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The baby on the left looks like Mom’s, she has blonde hair and blue eyes.  She is in a pink bunting of thin pink and white strips and a lovely lace edging.  She also has a pink fleece sleeper like the one on the right, but with the same lace edging around it.

I bought a small oval basket as a bed for the baby and it fit in the open shelf of her nightstand.  As I was leaving, she kept asking “where’s my baby?”, “where’s my baby?”, “where’s my baby?”.    Friday she didn’t mention her baby, so I think it is like most things now – they come and go.  We’ll see how this works out before adding anything else.

Things at the house have changed, John moved out with his cat and now there is another man in his room. I am not sure how old he is, probably looks older with the long grey mustache and beard.  I saw him on Friday but since he was fast asleep in his chair, I didn’t say hello.  Also Jennifer left, she is now in a nursing home right near her sister.  The new person for her room was due to move in Friday night or Saturday morning.  I may see her when I go on Tuesday.

Funny, I feel as if I have spent  a lot of time at home resting, yet it feels as if I have ben tooing and froing when I write about my week.  I a working on another post but have gotten stymied, not sure where it will go.  It took quite a while to finish “Woo Woo, Goofballs and Hocus Pocus Water”; one of these days this one will tell me where to take it.  The fun of writing a blog.


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