Posts Tagged ‘caregiver’s support group’

Plates Spinning

August 17, 2014

At times I feel as if I have several plates spinning on sticks – similar to the  people Ed Sullivan used to have on his program.  Some days I feel like this:


Everything is nicely balanced and I am in as much control as I can be.  Then there are days like today and the past week, I haven’t felt much control and there doesn’t seem to be enough time to keep them all spinning properly:


I could give a name to each plate – cleaning out Mom & Dad’s stuff, my new website for my business, a new website for my radio show, understanding how the sponsoring works and finding sponsors, doing Eddie’s new report (he isn’t doing the Round Up but calling it The Kaplanian Report, not associated with the Future of Flight), things for Mom, personal business stuff, Apple Group Training and also One to One,my blog, my book, Kaplanian International stuff, etc.

This week I have been  doing a lot of clearing out bureau drawers – the stuff my parents kept!  All kinds of cards they received and Mom had so many cards ready to send for almost any occasion, I am going to give them to the Goodwill so other people can use them.  I have bags of papers to put in recycle – our wheelie bin is full to the top and I have 2 other bags ready – plus things I have put away in boxes to see if my sister Candy wants them.  I found 2 photographs from North American Aircraft in an original envelope that is going to the Boeing Archives, lovely to know they will be pleased to have them.

My parents kept things even though they were worn out, some things had never been used and there is a beautiful  grey wool yard length – very fragrant with moth balls.   And letters from people, from Mom & Dad to his parents, letters from both his sisters and letters from his Uncle James to Dad’s father.  I had a hard time reading the hand writing, I am putting them away to read later since I need to work on the clearing out.

Along with that, I was having a lot of discomfort – the toilet and I became close companions on thursday, Friday and even into Saturday, though not as much.  The tummy was unhappy and I was really tired.  Yesterday after we did all our stuff, I came home and crawled into bed with Bunny to sleep some of it off – and I was better when I woke up.  Not sure what happened because I didn’t eat anything  different.  I have been very careful how much I eat, the tummy gets uncomfortable.  I have been using water and baking soda which seems to help.  maybe the side effects of veggies.

We finally had rain this week, blessed soaking rain.  I have been feeling very dry and parched and it was so lovely to hear the raining really coming down as I was lying in bed.  Rain is so refreshing and makes things feel washed clean.  Now it will be 81 today and 83 tomorrow, then back to the 70’s – that’s quite okay with me.

I have been playing phone tag to arrange a haircut for Mom, finally made it for Tuesday.  Her hair is getting long and needs cutting – not sure how she will be when the time comes.  She is very feisty when anyone wants to do anything for her – I make sure I am there for the hair cut and sit beside her.  There is no way to tell how she will be from one minute to the next, one day to the next.  I saw her on Friday and she was rather sleepy, though chocolate sounded very good to her.  She was cuddling a stuffed dog or cat and Judy had put a chair on each side of her, she could easy fall to the side.  She seems to mumble more than before.   I don’t know how much she knows that Fern died last week.  Fern was 102 and having a lot of pain in her body, as well as feeling alone since she was used to family all around.

I’ve been wondering if  visiting Mom and clearing out things has had an emotional and mental effect as well as physical.  It maybe stirring up a lot of old programs, messages and memories that I had not been conscious of for quite awhile.  The bottom drawer of the desk is definitely a proud parent’s drawer; all the drawings and things the three of us girls have done since we were very young are there.

I saw Mom on Monday and then went to my Caregiver’s Support Group.  I’m so glad I did, it helps so much.  I told them what was going on with Mom and that I feel as if I am walking in thigh deep water.  It feels more than just fatigue, but there is more to it – I can’t really name it at the moment.  I also realize each time I go that I have it relatively easy compared to the others.  They have to deal with so much more, how they cope I can only imagine.  I will admit, I have periods of feeling I have such a difficult time – usually when I am tired and worn down.  I haven’t figured out how to actually become rested while still doing what I need to do.  Is that what’s called the horns of a dilemma?

Busy Week

June 16, 2013

imagesThat’s how I felt Friday night – I was knackered.  Besides, when in doubt, put a cat picture in the post.

I’ve been so busy catching up on the remodel blog and keeping current with pictures that I haven’t had time to do a post here.  It has been an interesting time  during the remodel, I though it might be very difficult.  How glad I am that it has been fairly easy – having the fridge and the stove make a big difference.  Also, before Brad leaves for the day, everything is neatly  packed and and stacked, plus vacuumed – very tidy.  I think the thing I have some trouble with is not having a sink and water.  I have to consciously remember it isn’t there.  Otherwise, it has gone rather well.

Some days I am here and others I have things to do outside.  Monday was the day for the electricity to go off, so Dr. Cheryl and my caregiver support group helped a lot.  I was here on Tuesday morning, then went out to see Mom, felt rather down when I came back because she was nodding off holding her bear after a little while.  So I decided to see her in the morning on Friday, I brought cookies for the house.  She was holding to one of her little bears at the table and after a while she started nodding off.

I talked to her doctor and she suggested something to help her sleep since she doesn’t sleep very well at night.  She said it was a choice between a sleeping pill that would just put her to sleep at night but would greatly increase the chance of falls – something she has had trouble with for quite some time.  Or an anti-psychotic drug that would help lessen her anxiety, confusion and fears.  As my sister Candy pointed out, Mom has always been anxious as long as we have known her.  I will admit the mention of anti-psychotic sounds very dire and not my Mom at all, but once she explained what it can do, I feel a bit better about it.  The anti-psychotic drug is her recommendation and if it can calm some of the anxiety, fears and confusion while helping her to sleep as a result and have less chance of increasing falls, I have gone along with her.  I don’t know how soon it will start, she said it would take 4 to 6 weeks to see if it is working.

Eddie and went to look for light fixtures and I couldn’t find anything that would work and I liked.  So Thursday, my day at home, was spent at the computer going bug-eyed looking at fixtures.  I found one I like, but I still haven’t found one to put over the sink that will go with it.  I did find one for the porch that we both like – not sure Eddie is all that keen on the light fixture.  I also went on Friday to pick up samples of the knobs I like.  I’m glad I did because with something to occupy my mind, I didn’t feel down after seeing Mom.  So I think I need to do that again, otherwise I am not very good company for a while.


Back to the post – I have now posted all the pictures I have for the remodel, this coming week should be interesting because we are supposed to get the cabinets later in the week.  However, Brad mentioned putting them together, so I wonder how long it will take to make it look like a kitchen.  I had planned to relax this weekend and not use the computer, but that didn’t quite work out the way I planned.  I also have a new client who wants a lapel pin and now shirts.  So I am working on quotes for that this week.  I never know what is going to happen from one day to the next these days, I feel I am taking it in my stride so far.  This Friday is Mom’s appointment with oncologist, then next week she gets her new shoes.

I’m looking forward to what the week brings – I keep thinking in terms that it is an adventure.


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