Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Life With A Loaner

August 31, 2014

I have been driving a loaner car from Younker Nissan for a week now – they think my transmission should be here this coming Wednesday.    Before, they said a week – as long as I have a car to drive, it’s fine.  I made sure I have my sticker and garage opener, I have no desire to be running around the garage every time I go in or out.  I did that once before and it wasn’t a lot of fun.

Younker Nissan has been very good to us, I would recommend the dealership to anyone – they aren’t pouncers.  They are friendly and they take care  of my care very well.  The dealer we bought it was the same way, but they went of business the people who took over make me uncomfortable.  Now that we are established with Younker, it feels like going to visit friends when we take it in for service.

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They gave me a Versa, so it is very familiar – very much like mine.  It has some quirks I have to adjust to – like doors that lock when I put it in gear and a hatchback type trunk.  Mine is a four door sedan with electronic locks, this one I have to use a key.  That means I put it in my purse and then hit the lock button on the door, then check my purse to be sure the key is in my purse before I shut the door.

This one also doesn’t have the oomph mine has, so when I accelerate from a freeway entrance, I don’t move as fast as mine.  However, the drawback to lots of pep is that I want to go fast.  I notice the cops frown on that and give tickets to discourage going too fast.  Bummer!  Fortunately it is white like mine, I would have a little more trouble finding it if it was another color.  I usually drive my car and when I am with Eddie in his Volvo, I keep looking for my white Versa.  Then I am brought up short because we’re in a silver Volvo V70.  Good thing Eddie is with me, he always finds it.

I had to tune the radio to the stations I like, but crossed myself up when I hit the CD button and nothing was there.  I forgot I wasn’t  in my car and couldn’t understand why Rachmaninoff’s  2nd piano concerto didn’t start playing.  The other thing I forgot from my car was my collection of  shopping bags.  However, in my line of work, I am never at a loss for bags.  I easily found 3 to put in the back in case I need them.  I am the only one authorized to drive it, so if we go anywhere together, Eddie drives his Volvo – a real hardship on him.  He loves that wagon and enjoys it when people admire it or ask about it.

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I must admit, I am still surprised to see the car when I am in a parking lot.  It has a hatchback and more square than mine.  It is comfortable to drive, except when some idiot parks so close to me I have a terrible time getting into it.  That would be true for any car.  I was at the library and parked close to the wall so I could get in and out of the car.  When I came back, that car left and another one was parked – way over in my space.  I was able to get in, all except my left leg.  It’s also the one that doesn’t bend very well.  I found myself lying across the front seat, the emergency brake and seat belt locks under my tush and very uncomfortable.  I wasn’t sure I was going to make it all the way in; thank goodness I only have 2 legs.  What if I were a centipede, I wouldn’t know which leg to start with, much less get them all inside the car.  I finally made it, with no small effort.  Good to know I could do it,, just don’t want to have to again.

I will be glad to have my own car back soon.  Until then, I will enjoy driving this one with all its quirks.  It’s a good size and I find easy for me to drive.  I certainly appreciate that they gave me one similar to mine, rather than a different model.  Mine is a 2007 and this one is a 2012, it no doubt has updated bells and whistles mine doesn’t have.  That’s fine with me, the more bells and whistles, the more things to go wrong.  Give me a basic with power steering and I am fine.

A new week beginning as well as a new month, all kinds of adventures and waiting for me.  Sometimes I surprise myself, other times I am surprised by what seem to be outside events.  These days, I tend to think they are all connected, just not necessarily obviously so.

 

Early Happy New Year!

December 30, 2013

I had a wonderful trip to Toronto over Christmas and planned to write a post or two about it.  We came home 1:30 Friday morning and the next thing I know, I am hit with the flu.  The past weekend was horrendous, now I am beginning to feel a little more human, but still tired.  I haven’t gotten much sleep this weekend and I need to have a nap or two to catch up.  I haven’t forgotten about posting blogs, just have not been with it – the cough syrup makes me rather spacey, though it does help the cough.  So bear with me for a couple or 3 days and I will tell you how much fun we had in Toronto with our niece and her family.

We arrived just after the ice storm hit and it snowed on Christmas.  It was really cold, -12 to -28 celsius.

di have some neat pictures from my sister Ellen I will share with you.  She writes great captions.

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Maybe it’s warmer in a footprint?

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Winter Scape

Working On Link For Remodel Blog

June 9, 2013

Let’s face it, technology sometimes defeats me for a while, but I am determined  to see if I can get this link to my other blog working.  I am going to see if I can also have a link on the front page so you don’t have to keep looking at old posts to find it.  Let’s try again.

http://www.eekaplanian1.wordpress.com

AT LAST!!!!!!!!!  It is working finally.  It drives me crazy when things don’t work properly and then when I finally have success, oh so sweet!

It seems to take me longer to do the Remodel blog than this one because I am uploading pictures and it takes awhile for each one.  this one I just write with an occasional photo.  I had a lovely email from sister Candy and she sent a gorgeous picture:

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I wish I knew what they are – almost like a rhododendron but very delicate.

Thank You so much Candy, it is gorgeous.

Yesterday we checked out  light fixtures – one for the porch light, the other is for the kitchen overhead light.  I like the carriage light for the back porch, fortunately we both agree on that.  For the kitchen he likes the modern one but I prefer something more in keeping with the style of the house.  So we will keep looking.  Also knobs for the cabinets – I thought they came with knobs, but apparently they don’t One more thing on the list to ask Brad.

Not a long post today, I just finished another one for the Remodel blog.

A Post Will Be Coming

October 2, 2012

There has been a lot happening over the past week and I haven’t had time or energy to write – I have wanted to express it and in some ways feel frustrated.  So I haven’t forgotten to write posts, nor have I lost interest – I could use a good shot of energy right now.  I could also use another neck and set of shoulders, they have been bothering me as well.  However, I have decided to be a glass half full person and thank God for all the gifts and blessing each day – both the comfortable and uncomfortable ones.  I prefer to think of all the things I get to do and the wonderful gifts they bring me.  It’s a work in progress.

Thank You for understanding!

Relief And A Smack In The Face

September 9, 2012

Thursday was supposed to be a day for me, but it ended up mostly about Mom.  I had a call in the afternoon from Denise, the social worker – Jas had visited with Mom at the Day Center and thought she was sweet.  She has agreed to have Mom come and live in her adult family home.  She can come on Tuesday or Wednesday of next week.  Yikes!!!  It was such a relief that everyone agreed to have Mom live there, but it was like a smack in the face to realize it would be next week.  I had to just let it sink in and simmer on the back burner for a bit.   When I called her, it was the beginning of family training.  I was working on quotes for a client in between phone calls, so I worked on that for awhile to let it settle and not feel so immediate.

Of course, the next thing is telling Mom and making the transition.  I called Kathy on Friday and asked if she would help me with it since she knows Mom quite well.  I also called Jas to thank her for having Mom come to live in the house and to decide what day.  I’m not sure if it was relief or just letting go of stress about it that made me feel so tired – I have been exhausted for the past several weeks.  I went to see my chiropractor in the morning and went to an engagement lunch for my friend Chloe Ann – I know her from Breakfast Club and have been living vicariously through her for the past year as she has been doing online dating.  It is something she never thought she would do, but with help from friends, she did the preparation work to be ready to find the right man.  She feels she has and they are going to be married at the end of the month.  He lives in Vancouver, Wa and they plan to live there and rent ChloeAnn’s condo for a while.  I’m glad I had some time for my own things, then I drove up to the Center to sign the papers and pick up Mom.  She didn’t know I was coming, nor does she know about the move.

I talked to the social worker and learned some things about Mom, some of the things she does at the Center and some things I didn’t know she liked.  One thing she told me was that Mom really enjoys holding the weighted baby doll they have – that was a surprise.  So I decided it might be a good idea to buy her one for the new home.  Of course I checked with my doll expert Charlotte.  She has been collecting, repairing and making clothes for her dolls and also when she worked in the doll shop.  She offered to give Mom one of her weighted baby dolls, a girl in pink.  It is a really nice one and I am so amazed at such a generous gift.  When I was at the Center, I asked to see the baby doll she has been holding so I could see if it is similar to the one Charlotte has.  I think so.  So I will happily accept her gift for Mom.  She also has been enjoying holding a very large bear – I checked my supplier and they have one I can order so Mom has another option.  I may not do both all at once, just see how things go.

I talked to Kathy today to find out how to start the process of  transition – she said we need to tell Mom now, plus she will come by to visit after I tell her to help reassure her.  So I will tell her tomorrow morning and then Kathy will come by about noon with salads to have lunch.  I’ll just tell Mom Kathy called and wanted to come and visit.  We’ll see what happens after that.  She emphasized I need to make it positive and to say that Jas has invited her to come there to live.  I am just going to ask God, my angels, spirit guides and master teachers to give me the words, actions, attitude, etc. and I will just show up and get out of the way.  Otherwise I will worry and agonized about what to say and wonder if I “get it right”.  Unfortunately I tend t0 over analyze things, driving myself nuts.

There has been a small part of me that has been feeling a bit guilty for doing this.  The social worker said something that helped me feel better about it – she said Mom is at a good stage for the transition because she is still social.  If I wait too long, it may be much harder for Mom to adjust.  Jas suggested not seeing for a week, maybe two while Mom adjusts.  Then visit for only 15 minutes, bringing her something.  then Jas will distract her and I need to leave quickly.  One step at a time.

I’m In Need Of Some Encouragement

August 14, 2012

I checked out my new source of encouragement again because it has not been the most comfortable weekend.  I think I actually have the study drug because I have been having very uncomfortable side effects this weekend.    So I have been feeling down and a bit sorry for myself.  So I found some really great  things from Calming Your Inner Storm

I have been feeling less than beautiful and attractive lately, so this was a wonderful way to view myself

Then I saw this one

This one rather suits my mood

And when I think about my current situation, this helps

When I get scared, I need to remember

There are those times when I suffer from foot-in-mouth syndrome because I say what I am thinking

A little humor goes a long way for me

I am feeling better now.

Farther Into The Thin Places

August 12, 2012

Yesterday morning when my Mom got up, she asked me who she is.  It happened a couple of weeks ago and it really surprised me.  I know she doesn’t always know who I am, but she has always known who she was.  She is the most confused in the morning when she wakes up; later in the morning it is better but not always.  The other thing she said was she didn’t think she was in the right place – where the right place I have no clue.  I told this is her place right now and after going through a couple of times, she seemed okay.  At least she didn’t do her “never mind, forget it” routine.  There have been days when she seems to have one foot in this world and one in the next world, what my sister Candy calls the thin places.  Every day Mom goes more and more into the thin places – she wants so much to be on the other side with Dad, Josie the cat and her family – she is scared they really aren’t there.  My friend Monty told me they are preparing a place for Mom and because she will be confused at the beginning, she will have guides to help her through the transition.  I have told her this, she wants to believe it so much but I don’t know what scares her so much.

I have watched this very independent (and stubborn) woman become so tentative and afraid, asking permission to do anything.  She once said she used up all her courage to fly from Connecticut to California to marry my Dad right after Pearl Harbor.  I wonder if that was really true.  What I also realize is that is one of my childhood programs.  We were always taught to ask permission first before doing anything – except my younger sister was the one who at time would announce she had done such and so.  Where did that come from?  How did I miss that?  I definitely was brought up to be a good girl, follow the rules, ask permission, etc.  No wonder I have had a hard time trusting myself and following my heart.  I didn’t listen to my heart because it was different from what I learned at home.  Let’s face it, I wanted to be accepted, acceptable while not having the courage of my convictions.  Ye Gods & Little Fishes!  At 65 I am still that way in some things but I am breaking out of my shell and taking risks.  Well, risks for me.

I also notice how negative Mom has become.  She doubts everything and is convinced the worst possible scenario will come to pass.  She just left for a walk with the new caregiver and I said she didn’t need to take the house key, that I would be here and the house would be open.  She doesn’t think so.  Not sure what she thinks will happen but I suspect having the door key makes her feel more secure.  I am not going to try to persuade her to leave the key here, it isn’t going to make a difference but she will feel better having it.  I have grown up with that negativity from the time I can remember, but it has intensified so much the past few years.  I really see now how much I have absorbed that thinking for most of my life, now I am finally much more aware and recognize more often.  No, it’s isn’t all the time but I have also changed my thinking.  In the morning before I get out of bed, I thank and give gratitude to God, my Spirit Guides, Angels and Master Teachers for all I have been blessed with – comfortable and uncomfortable.    I will admit it isn’t whole-hearted yet – those uncomfortable  ones aren’t quite there yet.  I am a work in progress.

I also notice Mom tends to mumble and talk about things that make no sense, not even sure they make sense to her.  More and more I don’t know what she is trying to say, only that she gets frustrated and upset she can’t get the words out.  Then she goes straight to “never mind, it doesn’t matter!”.  She talks about other people in the house, I don’t know if they live here or just visit or if she sees them or only senses them.  She is confused a lot about who I am, yesterday she thought I was her sister.  She thinks Eddie is her father, my father, her husband – I wonder if it is because he is the only male she sees consistently.

I often wonder where my Mom is and who is this confused and scared woman living with us.  She looks like Mom but not much resemblance other than that.

Post Coming Soon

July 30, 2012

I haven’t done my usual post on Sunday because I am without a computer.  I am using my husband’s lap top and I prefer my Mac.  I bought a new Mac on Saturday, brought in my old one so they can do a data transfer.  It seems strange to see that empty spot on the desk, yet my keyboard and mouse are still here.  I hope to have it back by Tuesday since today is the appointment with Mom’s new doctor as well as a meeting with the woman who arranges caregivers in this program.  Bus will be here in an hour to take us both to ElderPlace.

So as soon as I have my computer back I have at least three drafts I have started, so I will be writing again.

A Little Inspiration

July 27, 2012

Every once in a while I will check out Facebook and see what’s posted.  Some have posted some very  funny things but also many very inspirational things that hit me like a ton of bricks.  They came from a site called Calming Your Inner Storm.  I love the photographs and the quotes – many of them seemed written just for me at this point in my life.  I would like to post a few for this post.

This first one really hit me in the face – I have been learning this very regularly lately because I have been very good at it.  Now I find myself recognizing it more often and making different choices.

This next one is also a life lesson.

This one really reflects my progress in trusting my intuition – how wonderful to find I really do have intuition!

I have concentrated a lot on how to heal RA, but still working on being able to be in silence without so much mind chatter.  Practice makes it easier each time I do it.

I have spent a lot of my life being a pleaser because I didn’t think who I am was anything special.

Becoming aware has not always been comfortable, but I see the progress I have made and I can pat myself on the back now and say “Good Job”.

I have been impatient all my life to know who I am and what my life purpose and direction are – I am still a work in progress and  I am more open to things – even waiting.  I have also learned that asking patience isn’t the smartest thing to ask God for, better to ask for absence of impatience.

And one more.

So much of what I have learning about myself is being able to truly love, accept, approve and trust myself.  I am finally learning that I am a loving, lovable person and that deep down there isn’t a god-awful bitch on wheels living there.  That goes for everyone else, we are all loving and lovable children of light and love.  As I find other quotes, I will create another post.  Some Life lessons are necessarily uncomfortable – especially with gorgeous photos.  Check out Calming Your Inner Storm – I was delighted to find it today.


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