Posts Tagged ‘sister’

Her Journey’s End

October 9, 2014

Yesterday morning at 4:50 my Mom died peacefully in her sleep.  She had her 96th birthday last month and she finally was ready to let go and make her transition.  We had a call shortly after from Judy, her caregiver to tell us Mom had died.  It was part expected and in part startled me.  Since the doctor had said she was going into the last stages of dementia, I didn’t know how long she would be with us.  It is a relief and also upsetting; even though I knew Mom didn’t want to be here, that she missed my Dad and her cat Josephine.  Judy asked if I wanted to see her body, but I said No; I wanted to remember her the way she was when I saw her Friday – fast asleep under the covers, looking warm and comfortable and holding the weighted baby doll.

I am not sure what I am feeling or what I need or want – I feel at sixes and sevens, sort of wandering around wondering what I am supposed to do.  I called my sisters to let them know, I spoke to Ellen and had to leave a message for Candy because she wasn’t available.  Eddie had a conference he was helping put on and there was no need for him to stay home.  I think it helped him concentrate on that rather than Mom.  I went to my Breakfast Networking Group – Julia asked why I was there.  I didn’t want to be at home.  I’m so glad I went, this group of people have been there to support, encourage and help me through some difficult times – they are close friends rather than just people with businesses I network with every Wednesday.

I am still alternately calm and teary/drippy, never sure when the drippy will appear.

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I’m having trouble settling to anything – I quit writing this because I couldn’t  keep going – usually I go into a flow once I start writing.  I’ve been wondering if writing it out would help – not really sure any more.  I tried having a lie down, to possibly sleep; didn’t happen.  I know I am tired – probably exhausted, but sleeping is not working out very well.  It took me a while to get to sleep last night – then I noticed how stiff and uncomfortable I was.  Not sure what is going on.

Back to the story:

After Breakfast Club I went to see Judy.  She told me Mom was very different on Tuesday, she noticed changes that weren’t there before – she recognized it probably wouldn’t be too long.  She checked on Mom quite often that night and then Mom was gone.  She reassured me that I had done everything I could for Mom and that she feels the loss as well.  She loved my Mom, as she loves all the residents as long as they are there.  It is difficult for her to see them go.  I have tried to tell Judy as often as I can how much I appreciate her, all that she did for Mom and to thank her.  She told me many times that it made such a difference for her to be appreciated – I don’t think too many do that.  She said Mom was a darling and everyone in the house loved her.

I keep meaning to tell Ellen the lilies she sent for Mom’s birthday are still beautiful – they are on the dining room table for everyone to enjoy.  Some have lost their petals, but quite a few are blooming.

I came home  and found a voicemail from Candy – I’m sorry I wasn’t able actually talk to her.  I called the Allens and also John and Luzma to tell them.  I ended up checking my emails and then had a cup of tea and a pear for lunch.  I suddenly felt very sleepy, so I went to lie down for a bit – I think I slept but then the tea kicked in and She Who Must Be Obeyed let me know I needed to get up and use the bathroom.  I went down again for a bit, then Luzma came by.  John had told her when she woke up.  We hugged each other and we sat and talked for a while – she will definitely miss Mom.  She remembers how kind Dad was to her, accepting her and treating her well.  She loved Mom, she said she was like a grandmother to her.  Their shared their gardens and many other things.

I decided I needed to do something, so I worked on the expenses for the business, I have let it go for too long.  it seemed to be the only things I could concentrate on.  Suddenly John and Luzma reappeared, carrying flowers.  She said she knew Mom loved her rose and she thought the house should be filled with roses.  There is one vase is small roses in a deep pink, one vase with red roses and a third vase with apricot roses.  The last vase had white daisies – plus a balloon.  In each vase is a lovely butterfly.  (I’ll put the pictures in another post).

They told me to call them for whatever I need – as soon as I know, I will.  While they were here Eddie called, he was on his way home from the conference, it didn’t last as long as he thought.  I was glad to see him when he came home.  We just had tea and bread – it was later than we usually eat and we were both tired.

I left a message for June, one of the domino ladies and also called and talked to Kathy.  I know there are people to tell but I can’t quite think of them at the moment.  That was Day 1.

Candy’s Photos

May 13, 2013

I decided my other sister Candy would have equal time with her photos.  She has been living in Nashville quite a while, she went down there for her song writing.  She has written songs herself and partnered with other song writers – it was the heyday of Music Ro and many, many publishers.  Well, like the book publishing world, the music world had the bottom drop out and things are very different now.

During those years Candy published several books – Christmas Abundance ( my favorite because it has some of our family traditions and recipes in it), then a series of three called The Art of Abundance, The Art of Simplicity and the Art of Encouragement.  For the past 2 or 3 years she has been learning about ebooks and has published several – plus a free one on her website ( http://www.candypaull.com).

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She also started taking photos of flowers, mostly roses with interesting backgrounds and arrangements.

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Love the dew drops!       I will check back in the archives to see some of her first ones.

Then at Christmas time, she had some interesting photos of  decorations, I really like this.

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Just recently she had some quite interesting photos that were taken around lake Radnor – a favorite place for her walks.  One never knows what she will find.

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And then there were the unexpected ones.

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I love this little guy but it isn’t Candy’s photo – she found it on Facebook.                                                                              I found it on http://www.dailycute.net and also couple of  other sites.

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For a while Candy worked at Vanderbilt University and enjoyed her time there, the people she worked with and the work, plus she loved walking along the campus in all seasons.  She would send some wonderful photos and her enjoyment shined through  her photos.

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Autumn in Nashville, Vanderbilt University

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That gives us an idea of Nashville and Vanderbilt University, and some of the things Candy has been doing while she has been there.  She has many things going on and has a book that is in the process with a new publisher – not only new to her but also new period.  I am looking forward to hearing how that is going and what will happen next for her.

So now I have shown both of my sisters and their photography – I am very proud of them and glad they are my sisters, or as we call each other Sisty Ugler.

Ellen’s Photos

May 5, 2013

My sister Ellen lives in Ocean Grove, N.J. and we were so grateful they did so well in Sandy, snowstorms, nor’easter and hurricanes.  I will admit to being very concerned, the worst that happened to them was no electricity for several days.  Because she lives there, she has been taking pictures of the water, the town and flowers as they bloom.  She recently sent a picture of her front yard, she has a green thumb.

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She has some awesome photos of the ocean in all its moods and conditions.

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The pier before Sandy – now just a few pilings.

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There are some jetties of rocks all along the shore.

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The waves can be small

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Or seem very large.

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Or just plain beautiful

People come in the summer for the programs at the Tabernacle as well as to be by the Shore since it gets hot and humid in the Northeast.   Some of the houses are lovely – either single family homes, B&B or hotels.

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They also have a number of tents, though you wouldn’t really know to look at them – they seem like little houses.  When winter comes, they take down the sides and wait for Spring to reassemble the.

P1130123Tents in winter.

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Tents in the Summer

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Tents in Fall

Ocean Grove is a pretty town, I visited Ellen on a trip to see people at my head office in N.J. and was glad to have some time to spend with Ellen and see where she lives.  I so appreciate her pictures of the ocean – I am a water lover – as well as showing different parts of town.  I would like to go back and see it again and spend time with Ellen.

Thank you Ellen for letting me share your lovely pictures.


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