Posts Tagged ‘payback pain’

Playing In The Garden

June 8, 2014

One thing I didn’t inherit from Mom was her green thumb; I have to improvise for a garden now.  I also don’t want to have to weed and have a lot of maintenance, so I have been looking around to see what I can do that can be low maintenance while being a bit different.  I have had the three beds rather bare for quite a long time and I am beginning to see  what will work.  I bought some flower seed strips (when will they finally arrive?) and I will use those for my color and then decide how I want to place them.  I’ve been looking at tiles and things as design elements that will mix with the flowers while being able to take them up when I actually have a true garden design with Nancy.  That’s a long way off, so this will have to do until then.

I decided I want a stream bed with rocks in the bed by the garage, plus use the pieces of tree as a design instead of lining the outside of the bed.  I have another idea for the design of the wood circles for the back porch bed, I can do that by using the rake to move them from the border – bending over is not easy on the back.  I have the foot path in the dogwood tree bed (cat garden) that works well there.  I am going to put in a little pond, but not with water, with tile type pieces.  Lots of plans but not a lot of execution yet.

However, last Sunday I went to a cake tasting in the morning and on my way home stopped to buy three bags of river rocks.  Each are 40 pounds and cost $3.99 – not bad since most other places charge a lot more.  Unfortunately I came home just before Eddie did and he decided the bags had to be on the ground.  Not my plan at all.  I had moved some of the heavier rocks from the back porch bed because I wanted something to that would keep the rocks from rolling on to the new drive – plus the downspout keeps sending water into the garage.  I wanted to fix that and this was a great idea.

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Also have the right date on my photo.

They may not look like very big rocks, but those puppies were heavy.  Wow, I was winded very quickly.  I may buy some smaller rocks to put between the drive and the bigger rocks to give it a more finished look.  I saw some tiles that were made up of rocks and maybe that would be better because they would be less likely to slide.

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This is my log slice design and I liked the idea of having the stream go through it.  I have mostly used the bags of rocks to do the stream, but I haven’t quite decided how wide it will be.

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As you see, I put a brick under the downspout to keep the water from messing up the bark and sending it on to the drive and into the garage.  (The thumb isn’t visible as you actually see the rocks)  I need to see what happens when it rains to know if my idea works.  The three bags I bought took me up to the design – man was I tired.  I was wondering about how my body would be, even though I released the belief of payback pain.  I took Aleve and actually did quite well the next day.  I also saw my chiropractor and she helped with adjustments.  I also made an appointment to see her Wednesday morning as well.  Tuesday (the 2nd day) I woke up around 3 or so and felt still around the edges.  It wasn’t any place specific, but a little Aleve and some rest and I was doing okay.

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This was far as  I went on Sunday.  I spent Monday afternoon having a nap.

During the week I kept think about my stream and I wanted to buy two more bags – that’s my limit at the moment – to be able to lay out the rest of the stream.  Wednesday didn’t turn out to be good and I spent Thursday morning at my rheumatologist and then my infusion, so I rested in the afternoon.  By Friday I was itching to get back to the stream, but first I went to visit mom.  The last 3 or 4 times she has been more alert when I saw her.  She always enjoys the cookies and chocolate and says she likes me reading to her.  I find myself getting caught up in the story myself.  She also enjoys a back rub, so I do some when I am there.  I notice that suddenly there is a change, but I haven’t noticed it although it has been gradually happening.  She is a little less easy to understand, yet she carries on a conversation as if I know exactly what she is saying.

After I left her Friday, I stopped to buy two more bags of rocks and headed home.  This time I did it the way I planned it last Sunday, I left the bags in the truck, took a small plastic carton and my pail, then my wheelie walker to the back of the car.  I could sit down and put rocks into the pail, then spread them from the pail.  It was a lot easier on my back than bending down to the bag on the sidewalk.

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The rest of the stream was laid out, which gave me an idea.  I will put some bit larger rocks at the end of this side and themI may have to move it a little closer to the garage to get the effect I have in mind.

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And now I have the design of my stream.

It’s now Sunday and the 2nd day after my “gardening”.  So far I was a little stiff in my neck and upper back, but I am doing quite well.  It is also chiropractor morning tomorrow and that is an excellent thing.  Next thing to do is  make the log design in the other bed and see what inspires me for that one.  I have a couple of easy ideas and I am interested to see how they work out – will it be as easy as I picture it?

Go Universe!

February 16, 2014

I have had a weight problem all my life – oops, I just realized I called it a problem and it isn’t.  I once read “I am the size I am to hold my magnificence”.  That really stopped me in my tracks.  Here I have been unhappy with my size and instead, it is a blessing.  I am working on knowing it is true and knowing that I know.   Then The Universe sent this message:

You have realized, Lee, that your age, experience, skin color, personality, accent, style, saunter, weight, and height, today, are setting you up big-time for the best of your life, while adding considerably to your animal magnetism?

Nothing gets past me,
    The Universe

We’re talking world tours, Lee, fan clubs on each continent, and a TV show that follows as you create a fabulous business I am passionate about!

The two major areas I am working on are loving myself and recognizing my Life Purpose.  Sometimes I wonder if I am doing my purpose and I don’t know it.  I spent the day with my close friend Kathie who is the same age I am.  She was a court reporter for many years, then went into hypnotherapy and now is doing some real estate.  She is still wondering what her Life Purpose is as well.  I know there are a lot of people feeling that way these days; but having company doesn’t quite help me recognize mine.

I have heard the words “find my purpose” a lot, but then others say one creates it.  I have been thinking more in terms of recognizing it and creating it – I know I don’t have to know how to do it, just be willing, open and allowing.  Maybe I just too impatient for that “Aha” moment of recognition and unfolding.  I find myself wondering sometimes “Am I too old?” or “Is it too late?” – ego is working overtime to have me believe it is true.  Thanks for sharing, I choose something else.

I have always wanted to create something of my own of value but never felt I had.  Then it hit me recently, this blog is my creation.  No one else could write it they way I do, nor has anyone lived my life.  One thing through my marketing expert friend, you may have the same information as someone else, but no one presents it the way you do.  That makes you unique.

I’ve been reading a book by Richard Moss called “Inside Out Healing”.  It has been quite interesting and I find it builds on Neal Donald Walsh’s “When Everything Changes, Change Everything”.  In that, Neal spends the first half of his book talking about Past Data – all those beliefs and programs that have been built up over your lifetime.  They are not true, but they feel real.  That had quite an impact on me – I wrote about migraines a while back and continue to use it.

With Richard Moss, he talks about being in the NOW, but in a different way.  He shows a manual with the NOW in the middle of a circle, with the Future at the top, the Past at the bottom.  To one side is Me and the other side is You.

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The idea is that when you are in the present moment, ego diverts you in one of four paths.   It may be the market list you need to make, the stupid things you did, a belief that isn’t true, etc.  Or it will go to another person and what they did or didn’t do, either to you or about you.  Another path is worry about the future or upset or living in the past.

the past week or more I have spent a lot of time at the computer, for work, my blog, Eddie’s Round Up and things he wanted to have typed for exhibits at the Future of Flight.  I began to think after the first or second long period at the computer – “Oh s—-!  I am going to pay for this either tomorrow or the second day!”.  But then I thought “Why do I think that will happen?  Just because it has in the past doesn’t necessarily mean it is  how it always will be”.   I began to realize I had created a belief around that, I can hear myself saying to someone more than once.  Yes, it had happened in the past, the belief that when I overdo it, I will pay for it, I have to be careful how much I do.

Then I remembered the Past Data loop I had been running for migraines, this was just another Past Data loop about what happens every time I do something and it hits me the next day or the second day.  So I told ego, “that is Past Data and no longer relevant and I am choosing something different.  In this fresh new moment, I choose filling this moment with good health and well-being in every part of my body, all Past Data is invalid and irrelevant”. How lovely to find the next morning and the mornings after that I was feeling well free of “payback” shoulder pain.

Now I am working on the cough that has lingered for 2 years, ever since I had the flu in rehab.  It takes time and some days I feel a bit discouraged, but on the whole there is progress.  now I am thinking in terms of each fresh new moment and what I want to fill it with when I bring myself back to NOW.


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