Posts Tagged ‘medical intuitive’

Why Do I Have RA?

April 20, 2014

That’s a very good question, one I haven’t quite  understood after 43 years.  I talked to a medical intuitive a while back and she told me it was only my energy; I was hoping there was also someone else’s energy that could be cleared.  So it is all me – wonder what caused me to decide to experience it in this lifetime.

There is a quotation “Things are not done TO you, but FOR you”.  Well, that one takes some pondering – something I have spent a long time doing but not  really reaching any conclusions or answers.  Does that mean it is karma in some form, balancing out something from a past life?  I believe I have had past lives, though so far I haven’t remembered them myself.  Am I supposed to – is it necessary for this time on earth?  Sometime s I feel I have more questions than answers.

Is there something about my life that is overwhelming and I don’t know how to deal with it?Am I reluctant to take responsibility for things?  What things would that be?  Or is it for protection so I don’t have to deal with certain things “because I have RA”?  I realize I look at everything in terms of RA.  I see things I would like to do, but then see the physical obstacles that could prevent me because my joints aren’t always flexible.  I felt that way about riding the Duck, the steps were a little steep and somewhat difficult to navigate, but I went up and then back down.  Sometimes I am afraid to try – in case I fail and can’t actually do it.

Oh my, I can see I set myself up to fail by not giving something a try.  Part of it comes from feeling clumsy and awkward; I would rather not put myself in that position.  I also realize I am limiting myself – that I have put those limitations on myself.  I have felt clumsy and awkward most of my life, I was the overweight (not that much but enough) middle child between two slender sisters.  I don’t really know how it feels to be thinner.  I lost about 35 pounds when I was in junior college; now I realize I didn’t really believe it or feel it was really me.

Enough about that – it is the past and no longer something I want to focus my energy.  What just occurred to me is that RA may be possibly part of my Life Lesson and Life Purpose.  Maybe these are things I want to heal in this lifetime.  I was about to say “I think”  instead of stating it because I have always been like that.  One of my Life Lessons is standing up for myself, speaking my truth – at this point there isn’t an “I think” about it.  Another is taking back my power – what a wonderful discovery to realize I do have power when I always thought before that I didn’t have any.  What a concept!

I also realize I have had a very negative view of RA – it was done TO me.  I was an innocent victim sideswiped by RA – don’t think I can see it that way any more.  I have been writing about the gifts in RA, a much more positive view than in the beginning.  Anything to do with past lives, Spirit, etc. was not talked about because people who did were weird.  Heavy duty hocus pocus, woo woo and goofball stuff.  Yet that goofball stuff has really helped me, to understand a little better and also to take personal responsibility rather than continue seeing myself as a victim.

This seems a collection of random thoughts to me – I’m not sure it has logic or continuity to it.  As I write, thoughts come to me and I write them down.  It is one of those t imps where I am not sure where it is leading.  I admit to having to stop and wonder what to write next, then a thought comes and I start writing again.

I just thought of Louise Hay and what she wrote in her book “You Can Heal Your Life”.  She said that when you truly love yourself, things will sort themselves out – my words.  I have been focusing on two major things for quite a while – Loving Myself and Life Purpose.  So much of what goes on is a result of my thoughts and as she says “It’s just a thought and a thought can be changed”.   Also I have read and heard that what I am experiencing now is from thoughts not very long ago.  The problem I am having is recognizing what those thoughts are that continue RA and what the positives are to replace them.  I know a lot of those negative thoughts have been there for a very long time and it is hard to recognize them.

What surprises me is that my Mom’s dementia has brought some of the programs into the light so I can recognize them.  Then I realize how I have been operating with them all my life without knowing it.  I may not know yet the “Why” but I am learning ways to see what has been happening all my life; plus what and how I can change thoughts that once served me but are now invalid.  I am slowly creating new positive thoughts and patterns for this stage of my life.

Bon Voyage Debye!

December 1, 2013

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lYes, it says Bittersweet – Brandy bought it from those owners.  No proper picture with her sign, may have to take one myself to make it accurate.

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Gives you an idea of the inside.  Both side walls are brick – a very old building.  Now you know where I go every Wednesday morning.

Debye and Sal are on their way to San Diego area for who knows how long.

Wednesday at Breakfast Club was Debye’s last day – she and Sal will be leaving to move her to around Carlsbad – near San Diego.  That means we don’t have a massage therapist in the club, though she is working to have Michelle come and join us.  Michelle is Debye’s massage therapist.  I know Michelle from the Holistic Chamber networking group not too long after I moved here.  We met at her Whole Life Center; she and I talked about some promotional things, but nothing came of it because she had such an upheaval in her life for quite a while.

It is hard to say goodbye, Debye is a close friend, partner, teacher and mentor for me.  What is so cool is that she learned a lot from me.  This morning’s meeting was about what we are thankful for and it was wonderful to hear how much this club means to all of us.  It is not the usual networking group, so new people either think it’s great or are a bit put off by us.  We have a lot of fun, laugh and there isn’t that push to get people to buy that I have often found in other networking groups.  We have a structure but not the “have to’s” that so many have – we like to get to know each other first.

I saw Debye on Monday after seeing Dr. Cheryl.   I had time between appointments to buy Debye some lovely roses.  What do you get for the woman who is packing up her life in her van?  They are leaving Sunday, so there is time to enjoy them while they last.

Instead of a massage, she and Sal worked with his lasers, they apparently were using four at a time and really worked all over me.  I didn’t feel much – at first it was like a small pinching pain on my upper thigh, otherwise I didn’t feel anything.  I was very relaxed and allowed my mind to quiet and concentrate on the breaths between.  Sal is also a medical intuitive, so her  checked me over and had a couple of things to tell me.  I was a bit woozy when I got up from the table – not unusual – and was given water and told to drink a lot when I came home.

I was a bit uncomfortable that night and woke up feeling rather stiff and uncomfortable in the morning.  A hot shower helped and I was better by the time I left to go visit Mom.  This morning I was doing pretty well – I realized I felt lighter.  With 43 years of RA, it probably will take a while to work through it.

This morning, instead of the usual 5 minute and 15 minute speakers, it was suggested we spend the time talking about what we are thankful for – seemed to cover mostly the group and how much it means to all of us.

Debye asked to go first because she had things she wanted to say to the group.  She thanked everyone in the club and handed out Pyrite or Fool’s Gold.  It has some very interesting properties, so I want to check them out online.  She also had a gift for 3 people, Judith and myself because we saw her nearly every week  since Debye joined the club.  She gave us Selenite, mine looks like flowers, Judith had one that had long, slender clear crystals.  The third was for Dr. Cheryl – Debye had space in her office and they have referred clients to each other.

I decided to just copy Carri’s minutes on what we were thankful for – it’s a shortened version but you will no doubt get the gist of it.

Judith B-Thanks Nick for fixing gutters. Thanks GRATEFUL FOR: Debye for your care.

Vickie B-Ditto, Ditto!

Dr.Cheryl B-Thankful for everyone. Blessings in life on planet.

Carol B-Thanks for personal growth. Was so scared she sat entire time for first talk.

Dick D-Met Pat and invited to Breakfast Club.  Exciting time-offered services and used referrals.

Brandy D-Had hard pregnancy. He never stopped moving. Thanks for using Down Home Catering.

Dave G-Thanks, Julia.

Lee K-Considers all of us her friend. It’s hard to ask for help. We have given her confidence. When she broke hip,received cards, emails, flowers and rides.  Thanks!

Barrie L-Thanks to Pat for helping with Jon’s last accident.  Thanks to Judith for helping son. Moving from 35 year home to retirement home. 

Julia L-Thanks for being member.

Carri M-She is Thankful, Grateful and Blessed.  Grateful to live in the Northwest and see Mt Rainier.  Thankful for technology that found breast cancer when so small. Surgery scheduled for 1/17. Asked for positive thoughts and prayers.

Pat M-Appreciates everyone!

Al O-Thanks to the entire club. Was part of initial information 20 years ago in April.  One constant has been the club’s support of his career.

Debye P-This is her last meeting.  Handed out “fools gold” as a token to remember her by. Rocks can boost vitality. Helps you conquer anything.  

Darrell S-Wife wants him out of house.  John W gave him turkey feathers for fly fishing. 3 gifts_Judith, Lee and Dr Berry.

Randy S-Thanks to group-you are all friends.
John VZ-Thanks for being among you, He see’s 
beauty.He has something to offer, like all of us.

I thought I would be very drippy saying goodbye to Debye and thanking everyone for all they have done and been for me.  Maybe I just shut my mouth before it got to that point.


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