Posts Tagged ‘lunch’

The Last Promise Kept

January 18, 2015

When my Dad died in 2000, he had arranged to be cremated and his ashes scattered by plane on the Sound.  I don’t know when he arranged it, but in 2000, the plane company had gone out of business. So Mom kept his ashes in the bureau.  About 3 or 4 years ago, while Mom was still lucid, she became antsy about arrangements for her.  I thought she and Dad had done them together, but apparently not.  So we took her over to Cady Cremation (I had met them through Breakfast Club) to make the arrangement.  She was to be cremated and was insistent that it be written down that her ashes were to be mixed with Dad’s.

I found out you can take a ferry and have ashes dropped in the Sound, so she was fine with that.  The ashes have been here since late October because it seemed their anniversary was the right time to do it.  So I called the Washington State Ferries but only got a voicemail on Monday.  I called again Tuesday – same thing.  By Wednesday I was getting uptight because they say 3 – 5 days notice.

I had another voicemail message, so I called the main number to explain what was happening.  Turns out the woman who does the booking was sitting at her desk.  So I was told to call the number and the woman knew I would be calling.  What a relief.  She was away on Monday and swamped on Tuesday, but she was able to help me so I could do it on Friday – their anniversary.

I wanted to do it on the Fauntleroy to Vashon ferry, but that was booked.  So I made arrangements for the Edmonds to Kingston ferry at 11:10.  She explained I was to go to the 2nd Mate’s office after the ferry left and let him know I was there.  Then he would make arrangements for the captain to stop halfway and I would have 5 minutes to release the ashes.  She also said I could bring flowers, but they had to be all natural – no wire or floral tape.  It sounded fairly straightforward but I will admit to being apprehensive and unsure how it would go. It had been a weight on me and I wanted to complete it for Mom and Dad.

I didn’t want to do it by myself, so I asked my close friend Vickie, my long time friend Charlotte and my next door neighbor to be with me.  All three were pleased to be with me.  Vickie only knew my Mom because I met her when I came back in 2002.  Luzma and Charlotte knew both Mom and Dad,  both felt close to them.  I’d say Dad and Vickie would have enjoyed each other’s company – Dad was always welcoming to people and enjoyed talking to them.

Vickie came at 9:30 and brought flowers, Luzma came a couple of minutes later – with 2 roses.  We drove up to Edmonds and met Charlotte at a QFC outside town – she lives in Mountlake Terrace and it was more convenient for her.  We drove down to the ferry and were in time for the 10:30 ferry – but they were expecting us on the 11:10.  There was a woman directing traffic and when I explained to her, she had us wait until the ferry was loaded and then we got in line.

I figured it would be a wet, windy and cold day – I was pleased and amazed to see clear sunshine and a beautiful day.  We rode on the Spokane.  I had hoped but wasn’t sure how it would be – I asked God to work out the whole thing, I would just show up and get out of the way.  It couldn’t have been a more lovely day for it.

Vickie and Char went to the stern to wait – I went up to the 2nd Mate’s office with Luzma.  Man, do they have steep stairs on the ferry – later we found there was an elevator.  I was so out of breath, but I made it and had time to sit and catch my breath.  We went down tot he car deck – going down isn’t quite so strenuous.  The crew was so great and understanding.  I stood by the rail – they would only let me do it – I released their ashes to the Sound.  Then as the ferry started up, Vickie and Luzma threw their flowers onto the water for them as well.

I thought I would be very drippy and teary, but only a bit as I released the ashes.  As they went into the water, I said “For you Mom and Dad on your anniversary.  The last wish fulfilled, the last promise kept.  May you spirits soar in love, peace and joy.”  I really didn’t know what I was feeling – not even sure if I felt anything.  I found myself coughing a lot, not sure what that was about.  I wondered if I was holding everything in rather than expressing it – still feel that way now.

They also gave me a certificate – a gorgeous photo of a sunset and they had Mom and Dad’s names, the date as well as latitude and longitude.  The only reason I don’t have it in the post is because I am not sure where in the car it is.  I can’t find it – bummer – and I need to ask Vickie where she put it for me.  I need to check the car again.

We came to Kingston and went to have some lunch – I wanted to buy them lunch to thank all of them for being there and supporting me.  We found a place that is about to move to Silverdale, but still open.  We had a great lunch and all three were having a good time.  Luzma was quiet and Char said she was a bit teary when I released the ashes.  I hope she had a good time.

Then it was time to take the ferry back – I may have been more quiet than usual, not sure what I was thinking or feeling.  I thought there would be a feeling release and relief, but there wasn’t anything.  We dropped Charlotte back at QFC and we drove home.  I dropped Luzma next door and then Vickie drove home.  I went inside and suddenly very tired.  I just sat like a bump on a log, I think I was tired mentally, emotionally and physically.  Eddie was late coming home, so we just had something light.  We went to bed at 9 at 9 and I slept hard – got up a couple of times for the bathroom.

I haven’t been crying or upset, I just am.  Maybe it just hasn’t sunk in yet.

I looked in the bag and by George, there was the certificate.  what a relief!

Ferry Certificate

No Pictures, Just Me

June 15, 2014

I’m not sure what to call this post, seems mostly a round-up of what I have been doing this last week.  It turned out to be a busy week and at the end of each day I was beat.  Monday I went to see my chiropractor in the morning – I had been carrying rocks again Friday.  Fortunately there were very many consequences but it was god to have an adjustment nonetheless.  Then I had an Apple appointment at noon to work on my book in iBooks Author.  It has driven me crazy because I can’t figure out some of it – such as how to put my Pages copy into the format and have it work properly.  The bottom line, I have to do more copy and paste.

Even Katie, the tech, was having trouble getting it to work; I didn’t feel like so clueless after that.  Apparently the app hasn’t been updated for 2 years and I am not the only one having trouble getting it to work properly.  I will have to write to Apple feedback and tell them what is happening.  Apparently they do read it and Shawn has noticed they made changes she has written about.

After that was my caregivers support group.  I didn’t have much time to get there, so I stopped at Mrs. Field’s for a brownie, not the smartest choice, just the fastest.  When Eddie asked me later what I had for lunch, I said not the best choice, a brownie.  Then he asked me if I ate it because I was upset – an unexpected question he has never asked before.  I told him I had very little time and it was the quickest thing I could think to do.

We had a large group at the support meeting, some for the first time.  One of the advantages of having been there for a while, I am more calm when talking about Mom than I have been.  there are still times when I need support and I am so glad to have these friends there for me.  I have also been able share my experiences and resources to others who are beginning the journey.  That feels good to be able to do that – I don’t know the outcome usually, but it is not always necessary.

Tuesday I didn’t visit with Mom because I went up north with Eddie for the day.  Tuesday was the day we decided for my Queen’s Birthday.  We stopped for breakfast and I spent some time in “my office” – otherwise known as the balcony – reading until I was ready to leave.  Things are different at the Future of Flight since the coming of the new Exec Director, so I wanted make sure did what worked for Eddie.  I left and spent time in Hobby Lobby and also Pacific Fabrics before meeting the other women at the restaurant.  It felt good to sit down.

I was about half an hour early, so I found a spot and read until I saw Joyce come.  We went in together and sat at a table waiting for Char and Lois.  They came fairly soon after that and we had a lovely time.   Char brought me a chocolate bar with a card and Joyce brought a card.  We have been just doing cards lately – at this point there seem to be a lot of funny cards about older women.  Yikes!  That’s me now!

Afterwards, Char and I went to Half Priced Books to look around, then it was time for me to meet Eddie.  I told him I would wait for him in the car until he was ready – seemed to work out well.   We left at about 3, but it was 6 before we finally arrived home.  There had been an accident in the tunnel and the Viaduct was closed – you can imagine what that did to traffic.  We took I-5 to 85th and then went over to 99 – but the traffic was backed up quite a way.  Everyone was trying to find a way around the tunnel and the Viaduct – not all that easy.  We decided to go through town, just as everyone else did.  We were on 5th and suddenly the Monorail went right overhead, never been under it like that before.  It happened several times so that shows how slow we were inching our way.

Finally we found the traffic opening up a bit, so we decided to go down Airport Way – that was so much better – it was good most of the way home.  We were beat and had a light dinner – I slept so well that night that I didn’t want to get up at 5 the next morning.  But it was Breakfast Club morning and I enjoy going there.  The last 3 or 4 weeks, Eddie has been going later because the historian Mike has been away – had a knee replacement.  He is planning to come back next Wednesday.

I always enjoy being with the group, they are such good friends and colleagues.  We do have fun but we are also serious and professional about our businesses.

Afterwards I went to visit Mom, bringing cookies and chocolate.  Lately I read to her, I was finishing up one of the “The Cat Who . . . . ?” books; I brought another one on Friday to begin.  I came home shortly before Eddie did, then we went out to do some things in the afternoon.  I felt myself almost falling asleep in my chair those 3 days.

Thursday I went to the Group Training for Pages because I have been having difficulty with Eddie Round Up – the type goes small on him and he gets very frustrated with it.  I found out I need to do some adjustments before I can make it a template, then it should work properly.  I don’t think Eddie is ready for new Pages yet.  Afterwards I came home and found myself working on the book.  I had energy and enthusiasm, plus I figured out how to copy the Pages version – unfortunately only one entry at a time – so it fit in the format.  Now I need to figure out how to get the Table of Contents to behave.

While I had been at Apple, Paul and Jude cleared the house and property for me – I have to admit I didn’t feel anything different when I came home.  Wonder if the burst of energy and enthusiasm was part of it.  But that night I felt uncomfortable – no where particular, just a general uncomfortable.  I didn’t sleep very well  that night and woke up feeling crappy.  Things are better now, maybe it is going to take some time to settle down and clear out.

That’s my story and I am sticking to it.


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