Some Clues To What’s Happening To Me

I came across an article called 51 Symptoms of Spiritual Awakening – it really explained a lot about what has been happening lately.   It comes from a link on one of Misa Hopkins messages called “Not All Symptoms Mean Something is Wrong”.  This is the link to the 51 Symptoms by Annarita.

Because of my recent broken hip, I was surprised to find it on the list – #41 Falling, Accidents and Breaking Bones.  Her take on it is:  Your body is not grounded or perhaps your life is out of balance. Or your body may be telling you to slow down, examine certain aspects of your life, or heal certain issues. There is always a message.   She also adds some advice to help understand and cope with it –  Advice: Stay grounded by taking your shoes off and putting your feet in the grass; even better, lie down on the grass without a blanket under you. Feel the earth beneath you. Get out in nature. Slow down and pay attention. Be mindful about what you are doing. Feel your feelings when they come up. Stay in the present. Surround yourself with blue light when you are feeling shaky.

#16 is also very similar –                                                                                                                                                                                    Events that completely alter your life: death, divorce, change in job status, loss of home, illness, and/or other catastrophes — sometimes several at once! Forces that cause you to slow down, simplify, change, re-examine who you are and what your life means to you. Forces that you cannot ignore. Forces that cause you release your attachments. Forces that awaken your sense of love and compassion for all.

This has a lot of meaning for me because I have been thinking these past few months since my life narrowed so much with Mom needs that it is time to step away from my business and my life and rethink what I truly want to do for the rest of my life.  I know I want to know my purpose and life’s work doing something I love and feels so right.  I have some ideas about things I want to do – I thought I would have time last fall and then in rehab to write out what my thoughts are and just let it flow out of me.  Unfortunately I have been so bone weary and emotionally and mentally exhausted that I have had no energy to do any of it.  There may also be a part of me that is a little afraid to see where it takes me, for so long my first response to things has been “No”.  But I am choosing “Yes” more often and seeing where it takes me.

#1 is changing sleep patterns.  Man, is that ever true!  I am ready to go to sleep when we turn out the light, then I am wide awake for 3 hours or more with my mind racing.  Sometimes it feels like a squirrel cage, other times I come up with great ideas – that I promptly forget when I finally go to sleep.

#2 is activity at the crown of the head.  Wow, is that cool to know and feel my God Force Energy coming down from Source and going through my crown chakra.  I would love to feel it going all the way through my body and out through the bottom of my feet into Mother Earth.  Hasn’t happened yet but I’ll bet with practice it will.                                                               Advice: This is nothing to be alarmed about. What you are experiencing is an opening of the crown chakra. The sensations mean that you are opening up to receive divine energy.

#9 is skin eruptions – back to being a teenager again. Advice: You may be sloughing off toxins and bringing emotions to the surface. When there is an issue to be released and you are trying to repress it, your skin will express the issue for you until you process the emotions. Work through your “stuff”.  Boy, do I still have stuff to work through!

#12 is power surges – otherwise known as hot flashes.  I thought I was finally finished with all of that, but looks like this is a new chapter –  like most of the symptoms, it is best to let it happen and realize it is only temporary.

#18 is Emotional and mental confusion:
A feeling that you need to get your life straightened out–it feels like a mess. But at the same time you feel chaotic and unable to focus. See #45.

Advice: Put your ear to your heart and your own discernment will follow.

There are a whole lot more that apply to me, but this gives you an idea of what it is about.  I have this feeling there is something coming, something really cool but have no idea what it is.  Mostly it feels as if I have to complete my hip healing and also to settle Mom into a place where she is cared for and has activities and people all around her.  She has been sleeping a lot of the time, not sure if it is just getting used to a new med or a way of escaping from a situation she doesn’t want to be in any more.  She is so ready and anxious to go be with Dad and Josephine the cat – yet she has no idea why she is still here.  It is hard to see her this way, often confused about where she is and who people are.  While I was in rehab, she forgot I lived here and has mostly forgotten who I am.  Once in awhile she knows – I think I have taken a lot of the emotion out of it, but I suspect it can hit me in the face when I least expect it.

Once I have done the best I can for all of us, I need some time to rest and regroup.  Then I can think about me and what is in store for me.

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