Posts Tagged ‘Water’

The Mystery Leak

November 7, 2012

It’s really nice to have a house with no neighbors on the other side of the walls.  It also means that when something happens, guess who takes care of it.  Monday night we had had dinner and Eddie went down to have his shower.  All was well when he came back upstairs.  Later he went down to brush his teeth and there was a leak right by the stairs – except there are no pipes there.  He quickly got a bucket, then took the flashlight to see if he could see anything – nothing but a slanted piece of wood.  It was doing drip  drip  drip  drip  drip.  He felt around with his finger and suddenly it was drip drip drip drip dripdripdripdripdrip.  Then a second drip started right beside it, so another something to catch the water.  It seemed to be coming from upstairs but there are no pipes in the corner where the bookshelves are – what was going on?   He kept going to check it and it was down to one drip – then later before we went to bed the drip stopped.  We could not figure out what it was.  We thought maybe it was because of the rain – it wasn’t raining.  Eddie thought it was a leak in the roof – then why didn’t it drip when we had all the rain, some really hard rain?  It was a puzzle for both of us.  We went to bed but neither of us slept that well – some was being uncomfortable and another part was wondering and concern about the leak.

I know Eddie was worried but I chose not to – two worrying wouldn’t make any difference (ask me how I know) and I have spent too many nights worrying.  I decided to bring my golden bubble of love all around me so I didn’t absorb his negative energy.  I put it in God’s hands and ask for help with the situation, then let it go because I knew the solution was already created.  My trouble sleeping was more physical discomfort – must be that housework I overdid on Sunday.

The last two days it hasn’t dripped and yesterday when I talked to Brad, I asked if he had time to check out this mysterious leak for us.  I explained what had happened and he had never heard of anything like, so he had no idea what the cause was.  It has not leaked since, yet we wondered if it would suddenly start again.  He came this afternoon and Eddie showed him exactly where it was leaking and what had happened.  So he and Eddie looked all around the basement and then came upstairs to see if something from the upstairs bathroom was leaking – if so, it should leak every time I have a shower or use the john or faucets.  But it hasn’t.

The next thing I know, they are looking in the hall closet – they found the floor had been wet.  I wondered if was from when we came to live here and the roof needed replacing – I could see daylight when I looked up towards the crawl space.  But no, that wasn’t it.  Finally the mystery was solved!  My mother always liked to be prepared in case the power went out or any kind of difficulty – she had put away an unopened gallon jug of water in the hall closet in case of earthquake or no electricity.  The jug sprung a leak and that was what dripped down by the basement stairs.  No more mystery, no more leak.

This squirreling of things has been going on as long as I can remember.  My Mom liked to be prepared in case of any emergency, so she had extra food downstairs in the big cupboard, a Sterno stove that we have used for hot water or soup when the electricity was out, lots of candles, flashlights and jugs of water in different places.  I realized I am not really prepared if there is an emergency, even when it is having no electricity or we are snowed in.  As we clean out the house, it is amazing what we have come across – both my Mom and Dad were packrats and I definitely come by my tendencies honestly.  No doubt since both of them went through the Depression, there is a lot of stored memories deep inside them.   Plus they didn’t have a whole lot of money when they were first married.  Dad always told the story about Mom making out the shopping list with the most important things at the top.  Then Dad would go shopping – Mom was home with one or two of us – and when the money ran out, he came home.  My Mother was good at making things stretch and made a lot of our clothes as we were growing up.  She canned fruit and vegetables for winter and froze things in the freezer.

It will be interesting to see what else turns up as we slowly clean out and throw away or give away things – there is no telling what we will find.

Fear

June 13, 2010

Last weekend was the 3rd one of Ike Pono and I am still processing it – I’m still processing the first two as well.  Although there wasn’t a huge “Aha” moment, I’m noticing small ones when I least expect it.  Plus, every once in a while,  there’s a “Huh?” moment.  Sunday evening as we were getting ready to leave at the close, they were talking about another session being planned for 5 days in Hawaii – boy, that would be cool!  Someone suggested being able to swim the warm ocean but I said I prefer sides to my water.  He had a puzzled look on his face, so I explained I am afraid of the water.  I learned to swim with a dignified dog paddle that gets me from one end of the pool to the other, but I am still afraid of the water.  He asked about it and I told him when I was about 5 or 6 living in  Manhattan Beach, CA, I was sucked under by a wave.  “And you never mentioned this near death experience during the weekends?”.  Yikes!  Near Death Experience?  I never thought of it in those terms.  I just remember my older sister and I went down to the beach with a neighbor without permission.  I was playing at the very edge with the little waves and the next thing I knew, I was in the water, all wet and water in my mouth.  I don’t think we ever told Mom what happened.  As far as I know, that is why I am afraid of the water.  Even now, when I swim, the face never goes near the water and I always wear my glasses.  Now I wonder if that is why I have been so afraid of life, of taking risks because if I do, I get my nose clipped – especially if I haven’t asked permission.  Our parents brought us up to be sure we are safe and secure before venturing out – not conducive to stepping out and taking risks.  Maybe that is why I look for approval and permission before doing something – I haven’t been trusting my intuition and inner voice.  My younger sister was different from my older sister and me – she would announce “I have done such and such”.  Where did that come from?  Maybe there has never been anything I wanted so much it didn’t matter what anyone said.

As I look back, I have always been afraid of the world – it’s a scary place and I am not safe.  I know now Mom was only protecting us because she loves us, but it used to bug me no end when she would say things like “Don’t fall down the bank”, Don’t burn yourself”, “Don’t trip on the branch”, etc.  As if I was going to fall and hurt myself on purpose!  I didn’t see the message of love, I just heard ” You’re not smart enough to know not to do things so I am going to constantly tell you”.  Even at 63 I still hear it from her – she is in permanent “Mom mode”.   She is on autopilot, so she says it to my husband and my two sisters as well.  I am finally realizing to be grateful she and my Dad loved us so much and wanted the best for us – unfortunately young ears don’t hear the same message they sent out to us.  I had to be this age to finally understand.  2 years ago when my older sister was visiting for Mom’s birthday, she said something that put a whole new spin on how we were raised.  She said “Mom and Dad gave us a very valuable gift – integrity!”.   When I looked at from that angle, I  knew what she meant.  I can not be anything but truthful, no matter how much I would like to at times.  There are times when I want to cut corners, but something in me won’t allow it, no matter how much easier it would be.   The best definition of integrity I know is – doing what is right whether anyone is watching or not.

I am much more inclined now to consult the medical intuitive – it has been a very uncomfortable weekend and I need to know what is at the bottom of all this.   Normally I would beat myself thinking how dumb and stupid for creating this – now it is with love and compassion I see it and want to know what was going on in my head.  I know ego was in charge, she has been for most of my life until I finally figured out she is my false self who loves drama, victimhood and fear – the more the better.  I realize it may have been my way of hiding from not finding work I am passionate about or a good reason not to venture out into the world, maybe fear of being wrong, not being good enough, not worthy,  doing something and either failing or not succeeding or just looking stupid.  I think fear is the base of it and maybe that ocean incident – still trying to get my head around calling it near death – is really what set it in place.  I have a picture of myself when I was about 3 or 4, it was taken in the back yard of the house in Manhattan beach and is one of a series.  All of the pictures, except for this one,  show me being a good girl and smiling for the camera.  This one I have a stance and expression on my face that says “I will do it, but I won’t like it!” – where did that little girl come from and where did she go?  She left the fearful good girl in her place.  I wish I could remember what was going on that day.


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