Since my parents, nor his, would be able to come to the wedding, I asked my Mom to make my wedding dress – you should have seen her jaw hit the floor! I still have that dress and my veil in a white pillowcase. Finally it was time to leave and I stopped in San Francisco on my way to Sydney so I could see my aunt and uncle – they had introduced us. Plus my cousin’s wife was from Hawaii and she arranged with her parents to meet me in Honolulu for a 9 hour lay over before heading on to Sydney.
I will say, on that Sunday morning I arrived in Sydney, I looked like I had slept in my clothes. He had brought the whole family with him – his Dad’s first cousin – and all I could think was I was with him again. Unfortunately he left the next day to give finals and then would be back a few days later. So there I was, everyone had left for school or work and I was left with Angel who didn’t speak English and I didn’t speak Armenian or Arabic. But we did really well making the other understood and those few days while he was gone, I finally found out about Armenians. It didn’t really occur to me I was in a strange country, with strange people speaking a different language, eating unusual food – I only knew I was without him again.
Thursday night he came back from the small town and we prepared for the wedding Saturday afternoon. It was a lovely sunny, Fall day and I remember being ready before anyone else – I looked out the front window thinking “This isn’t how I pictured my wedding day”. We had about 20 people, that included us and the minister. That evening we took a slow train 450 miles west of Sydney to go to the little town where he was teaching.
We had a very small flat, no heat or air conditioning and where everyone knew everyone else. To be considered 1 of 2 American couples, we definitely stood out. We were both really home sick for the States, it took us a year and a half to save the money to come back here. I had never been that far away from home but because we only had each other to depend on, we developed a closeness we might never have had if we had stayed here. Being in a third country made it easier because we both were dealing with a strange place rather than only one of us.
There was a lot of stress all the time we were in Australia, then stress coming back because of immigration – he had applied for and received a permanent residency visa, but I didn’t relax until we were several miles from L.A. airport. We settled in San Francisco Bay area and about 2 months after we were back, I was putting my coat on after working 12 to 9 at a department store. My shoulders hurt so much and that night I couldn’t get comfortable, it was as if someone was boring holes in my shoulders. The next night the same thing happened and I knew something was wrong since I couldn’t raise my arms higher than my waist.
I went to my aunt’s doctor and was fortunate to be diagnosed right away. He told me I had Rheumatoid Arthritis and I said “Fine” as I went along my merry way – I had no idea what it was. In the past 38 years I have learned a lot more about it than I ever wanted to know. I am blessed with a really great husband, I know he could have left after I was diagnosed – we said for better or for worse but didn’t expect worse after just a year and a half. There have been husbands who have left; I can’t imagine how that would feel.
Gift of RA 