Gift of RA

I went to see my Mom twice last week, she seems a bit more alert – wonder if the med is kicking in slowly.  I brought an apple and cranberry pie for the house.  I noticed that was mostly what Mom talked about for the rest of the visit.  They were going to have  for dessert at dinner.  She was very pleased and ready to eat it right that minute.  When I saw her on Friday afternoon, I asked her about the pie – she said she hadn’t gotten any yet.  The others said they really enjoyed it and I suspect Mom did too, she just didn’t retain the memory.  NOTE TO SELF: Don’t ask her about things that happened a short while ago, she probably won’t remember and will go into wanting apple pie.  Once she has fixated on something, she worries it like a  dog with a bone – almost  an obsession.

She keeps asking about her parents – what do I know about them – and then she remembers they aren’t here.  I usually tell her they are watching over her and preparing a place for her when her time comes.  She will ask several times and Judy said she asks her a lot about them – it feels as if she has a loop playing in her mind about them and also about leaving.  So far when she says she wants to leave, I tell her this is her home, this is where she waits for the train.  It was an easier week visiting her, she likes the people and she says they are very good to her.  It has been 3 months since she moved there, I know it was big adjustment for her, though no idea how it felt to her.

This is the roller coaster part of the equation – up and down, not knowing what happening with her or what is best for her.  I am still a little uneasy and uncertain making decisions for some one else, especially the person who took care of me as I was growing up.

I am glad to say I am nearly at the finish line for Medicaid.  We had to spend down to $2000, not a penny more.  I bought almost $500 worth of clothes, though I will take them to her slowly since she doesn’t have a lot of room in her closet or drawers.  Then we went over to the cremation place and spent $1400 there – all suggests from the case worker.  She has been so kind and easy to work with, government isn’t usually like that.  The only paperwork left is her latest checking account statement that closes on the 19th.  I think she is approved to start February 1st – if we wait until March 1st, I have to jump through all the hoops again.  Believe me, I do not want to do it again!  According to Eddie’s calculations after we were at the cremation place, there is about $70 left, so I may go and buy her some lotions.

It has been hard spending down her money because Providence takes care of almost everything.  It will be interesting to see how it all works when the 1st rolls around.  It is scary having only $2000 in her account, we are very cautious about our checking account, we like to have a large cushion.  Eddie has been doing Mom’s checking account for 2 or 3 years and he treats it like ours.  So not having much of a cushion makes both of us uneasy.  I keep telling myself that because Providence takes care os so much, if something happens, they are likely the ones to take care of it.

This is the merry-go-round part – endless forms, sending things in only to have more questions and requests.  I will say that the case worker has made it much easier than some who work in government.  It has also been and education and an eye opener.  However, it is difficult for anyone having go through this experience.  I’m not sure I want to know what the next is that is coming.

Tags: Apple pie, dementia, Medicaid, Parents

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