When I went to Breakfast Club this morning, it was Moving Day for Mom to her adult family home. I had spent yesterday creating lists of what she will take and getting some things ready. Kathy came over this morning to help me choose her clothes and I got to use my permanent marking pen to put Mom’s name on the labels of her clothes. Kathy did laundry so everything was clean and ready to go. She came by yesterday afternoon to have Mom pack a suitcase so she would feel she had a part in the process. At the time Kathy left, she had some questions that I needed to ask Jas today.
I called Jas and asked the questions and she answered them for me. Then she told me a situation had come up about one of the requirements from Providence. She was checking on it and would let me know. I called Denise, the social worker, to see what she knew and what was happening. I must admit, it really upset me that there was a glitch that looked as if moving wasn’t going to happen – I might even have to start from square one again. I felt like crying and Kathy said to just let it out – so I did. There is still some left but I think I got a lot of it out then. There is disappointment, let down, upset, frustration and I am not sure what the emotion is about not having my life back after all. I will admit to counting down the days and thinking last night it was the last night Mom would sleep here.
Kathy suggested we go out for lunch because I needed to get out of the house. As we were leaving, Jas called and said she was going to take care of the requirement fully. I said that was great, that we could do the move next Tuesday or Wednesday when everything was verified by the social worker. That way it isn’t a hurried situation.
I was thinking this morning that it was in God’s hands, whatever works. It was a little hard to remember that when the glitch surfaced. I got into a panic and thank goodness Kathy was there to calm me down and it is only a glitch. I did do a few “God help me!” while setting an intention of surrendering, allowing and being willing. The good part about it is that we have decided what to pack for her, so that is done. I have gotten most of the items labelled, though some present a challenge. So I will have to work out how to label those in the next week or so. The other thing is that if I had to go looking again, I have a much better idea of the kind of place I want for Mom.
Since all of this came to a head about noon time or later, it throws an spanner in the works for me. Sheila who assigns caregivers didn’t think she would be able to have one for tomorrow morning because it is short notice. She isn’t sure about Friday either and she will check to see if Aster can come Sunday and someone for Sunday. Also, Eddie is coming home from 3 days in Spokane, about the time Mom will come back from the Center. Two people need to be picked up and there is only one of me. So I will collect Mom from the Center tomorrow, come home and wait for Eddie to call and then the two of us will pick him up at the airport. He called late this afternoon and was very surprised when I told him the two of us would be there to pick him up.
If no one shows up tomorrow, I have to be here until the van comes, but I have some business for Mom I need to take care of before my massage. And I AM NOT going to cancel my massage, I have had to cancel too many things lately to take care of things for her. This is for me and I so need it!
It has been an emotional roller coaster all day, I am ready to sleep, I just hope I can and not oversleep tomorrow. I did this morning but was still on time for Breakfast Club. Mom has been asleep since at least 6 – not sure if she will be up wandering around later or not. Yes, this too will pass. There is a purpose, a gift and a lesson in all of this, right now I am too tired to look for it. It will all reveal itself at some point. The one thing Kathy said was that I dodged a bullet. Suppose I had moved her there and she had settled in, then had to take her out because a glitch happened. That would be so much harder for Mom, I am not sure if she would transition a second time. Strangely enough, Mom hasn’t asked about moving, she kept asking where her mother is – this is something new, asking about one or both parents. Too bad I don’t have a good answer for her.
Gift of RA 
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