I was really looking forward to Saturday and sharing the day with my friend Char and her husband – it is their 40th wedding anniversary and they were renewing their vows. I was all ready to go, had the invitation to get a map to show me where to go and I set off. However, I forgot my phone charging on the bureau. I was driving up and I was surprised at the traffic, it isn’t usually that much on a Saturday and I managed to be behind every slow driver on the road. I was concerned about being late, but when I thought about calling to let her know I was running late – that’s when I remembered I didn’t have my phone.
So I figured I would get there when I got there, not a lot I could do about it at that moment. So I followed the map directions and when I got to the end – no church. I looked at the map and all the streets matched, but no church, just housing developments. That upset me because I didn’t know what to do. I did see a woman walking her dog, so I asked her but she had no idea. She offered to lend me her phone, unfortunately she couldn’t get it to work. Now what?
I drove around a bit looking for another 13th St. W but didn’t find one – I was upset at being late and now it looked as though I wasn’t going to get there at all. I was really upset at disappointing char and not celebrating a special day with her. I couldn’t think of anything else to do but head home. I had no idea what happened, though I figured it was my bad – I had missed something somewhere.
I was on the freeway and needed to find a pit stop, so I went to the rest stop to heed She Who Must Be Obeyed. I came back to the car and was looking at my map to see if I could see where I goofed. As I picked up the invitation, it hit me in the face – plain as the nose on my face! I had put in Everett on the map finder out of habit – I seem to associate Char with Everett because when we were in high school, her parents moved up there. So I had the address right, but it was Lynnwood, not Everett. What an idiot! So I drove home because I had no idea where it was in Lynnwood
I started beating myself up and caught myself – that wasn’t getting me anywhere. I’ve grown enough to know that has been my usual pattern and if I had stayed true to form, I would be a mess by the time I came home. Then I began to think in terms of a reason for it working out this way – I had no clue but maybe it would show itself at some point. Maybe I was in too much of a hurry and worried that I wouldn’t be there in time. Whatever the reason, it was a small miscalculation that put the spanner in the works. One of those times I wish I could go back in time to correct what I put in the computer.
When I got home and saw Eddie, I started crying , not sure why it didn’t happen when I was driving. I called Char the minute I came home and left a message for her to let her know why I didn’t show up. Eddie was glad to see me, he thought I would have later. He had just gotten home himself, so I enjoyed grilled turkey burgers with him and folded the laundry.
Char called when she got home and had heard my message. She had been concerned something had happened with Mom, Eddie or me and so her mind was at rest on that front. she was just glad everything was okay. She had a great time and there were about 50 people – I’m delighted she had fun and although there were clouds and sun, no rain fell. I will be able to enjoy it in pictures later.
I am working on understanding why I feel compelled to write about this – in the scheme of things, it’s barely a ripple. It is the same feeling I had when I began to write the blog in the first place; something compelled me to write about RA and my journey. I felt that if someone could benefit from it, then I had accomplished my objective – to be of use and help others. This has the same feeling, but no obvious purpose as I had in the RA parts. That one is going to have to simmer on the back burner for a while and see what emerges. Sometimes that works the best for me when I need to understand what is happening. There are sudden “Aha” times and I will finally “get it”.
I’ll keep you posted.
Gift of RA 
May 18, 2014 at 11:18 pm |
I don’t know, I think, for you and me, anyway, writing about something helps us to sort it out and put it into perspective, and then allows us to move on with our lives.
I saved a bulletin and napkin from yesterday for you, by the way. (And, a little correction, we moved to Everett in 1967, during my junior year in college.)
May 19, 2014 at 8:14 am |
That is so true. As I look back after a day or so, what I notice is that I may have started beating myself for the mistake – I am quite good at it after many years of practice – I caught myself before it went too far. This is something I have been working on and realized I have no desire to board that bus again.