Life Post Mom


I am so happy to hear from my older sister, she wrote two emails and sent some pictures of Ocean Grove.  They were very lucky, not a lot of damage and the sound of the furnace coming on was a sweet sound.

     We saw Mom yesterday and I saw her on Tuesday but haven’t told her anything, I think she would just be worried.  Actually, there isn’t a lot to talk to her about, so I am resorting to things in the past.  Some she remembers, much she doesn’t.  Keeps asking where her parents are, if they are dead and when I say yes, I tell her they are watching over her and preparing a place.  One thing, Didi, the owner, is amazed at how well and easily she has begun to settle in. Didi has adopted her and the other residents really like having her..  She thought there would be a lot of resistance because she had been in her house for so long, what a delight to find Mom is adjusting well.  Mom keeps saying they are very nice to her and she likes it there.  Apparently we moved her just at the right time.  I am still tired and there doesn’t seem to be much let up in having to do things for her.  This is a whole new learning experience for me as well as Mom.
I sent in the forms and papers to DSHS for Medicaid on Friday and now have to round up some other things I know I will need.    Funny, it still hasn’t really sunk in that Mom is not living here any more.  We have her bedroom door closed but sometimes when I get up in the night, I expect her to come out and want the bathroom at the same time.  I have to tell myself consciously I can make a late or early appointment, or come home later than I planned – I don’t have to fit into caregiver hours or Center hours.  Trying to live between 9 and 3 when the rest of the world doesn’t is very confining.  I wonder when “I know that I know” it is just Eddie and me?
Our eating habits are different now, we can make things with tomatoes – they really bothered Mom even though she loves them – as well as not having as much meat.  We are eating lighter and our food bills are probably lower.  Things last longer as well, Mom still has a good appetite and enjoys her food.  I think that makes it easier for Didi as well.  Didi said yesterday her blood pressure is good and she is doing very well, plus they check her out when she is at the Center.  Sometimes Mom tells me things but no one else, so I talked to Didi about it.  She wants to know so she can check it out and see what might be going on.  Tuesday Mom said she had been getting dizzy, so I told Judy the caregiver and then also the nurse at the Center – no idea what it is.  Mom has also been known not to tell anyone when something is hurting or bothering her – that doesn’t help.  Must be the stoic Yankee New Englander in her.
I must admit, it is so nice to get up when I want to, take a shower when I want to – before I had to either get up before 7 a.m. to have it or wait until after 9.  I can stand and enjoy the hot water for a long time as well, I do enjoy the new bathroom – the best room in the house.  I can also play my iTunes radio stations all the time and as loud as I want – Mom tended to find tv too much noise and would go along with the iTunes radio for a while.  I remember growing up and there came a time when we were watching tv Mom would ask for a little peace and quiet.  I have plenty of time while Eddie’s gone, he isn’t that fond of opera as I am.  Puccini is my main man!
We have also been slowly cleaning out some of the stuff that has been sitting in the basement for decades, my Dad couldn’t throw things away and neither could my Mom.  The recycle wheely bin gets filled up quite fast these days.  I am trying to clean out the office but it is slow going, seems to all come back very quickly.  There is so much to go through, I don’t know where to start.  All I know is it is one section at a time – now which section is first?  Then I need to decide what to with things that shouldn’t be thrown away.  I need to check with my sisters to see what they would like – they have first choice.  There’s no doubt about it, I won’t sitting twittaling my thumbs wondering what to do.
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