This came from the Universe today – I could have used it earlier but no doubt this is just the right time. I have been apprehensive, concerned, scared and unsure in finding an adult family home for my Mom; this has really hit home for me.
Lee, when you move, I move. When you reach, I reach. And when you go the extra mile, I clear the way. But not a moment sooner.
Which is why before you move, reach, and go, things sometimes look so scary.
Just like that,
The Universe
Lee, “I do” if “you do.” Settled? I now pronounce us unstoppable.
I so appreciate the daily note from The Universe during the week – so often it is spot on to what I am thinking, doing or wondering about in my life. Certainly finding a place for my Mom has been one of those very uncomfortable situations; I am so grateful for The Universe already creating the solution (even though I wasn’t really sure) and all the people who have been helping me all along the way. I am so glad I don’t have to do it all by myself – I would be bouncing off the walls a rubber room by now. I have had help from Providence, Kathy has been a great help and Eddie as well. When it comes to Mom’s financial and business affairs, I have had a lot of help from my Networking Breakfast Club – Dave our elder law attorney, people who know about houses and property, others who have had to deal with the same kind of situation, caregivers, etc. I have such support from friends and family to help me take care of myself and have a more objective view of the situation – I am still on the emotional end of it, not as much but still there. Plus God, angels, spirit guides and master teaches to help and guide me.
Monday on Labor Day I called around and found one place with an opening. Eddie and I went down there and spent almost 2 hours with Jaswir. (She said I was the first one to pronounce it properly. She goes by Jas) This is a double wide manufactured home that has room for 6 people. The room Mom would share is what used to be the master suite, so it is larger and has a bigger closet, and a bath they both share. Her room mate is a woman with Dementia, though quite articulate and friendly. The other woman seem to be at about the same level of function as Mom and they interact with each other. They eat together and there is a covered back porch as well as a nice area in the front they like to sit – Jas said they love to be outside when it is sunny. I had a better feeling about this home and arranged for Kathy to come and see it with us yesterday. I was pleased that she liked what she saw and when she talked to Jas – she can see and notice things that I don’t know to ask. So today Jas is going to meet Mom at the Center and assess her level of function and the Providence records. She has worked with them before and knows Mom’s doctor, Kathy thinks that is a real plus. So I am hoping they can reach an agreement.
This is where I really have to let go and put it in God’s hands – this or something better. I am not anxious to go calling any more, but I willing to do it if it is necessary. Yesterday was attorney and mortgage day – we talked to Dave and Tom to see the options for the house and what will work for us. No decision but now we are checking to see if refinancing with a loan of our own and some extra to fix it up is in our budget. Brad came by and we explained what we are thinking of doing, he will now give us and estimate and see how that fits with a loan with a reasonable monthly payment.
I want the whole things settled right now, but it is a time of constant patience because so much of it depends on other people doing their job. It is hard to be patient, I’m doing my best. This has been a time of learning and growing – not always a comfortable process. I have been learning about myself as well as about Dementia; it seems to be more clear at times when I look back at what has just happened. I am realizing a lot of childhood programs and triggers, plus seeing how I have been influenced in my adult years with out realizing it. Now it seems as if I am growing stronger and more adult as Mom diminishes and is weaker. She has always been a very strong influence on my, maybe when she is gone I can finally be myself. That is what my friend Kathie Brodie found after her mom died. The other important things she learned what what her mom was teaching her – it was never clear and when she talked to another friend who talks to angels, she finally understood. It was her aunt who said she could now be herself.
It truly has been an uncomfortable time, that means I have been and am growing, stretching and learning. Truly out of my comfort zone. Several friends have told me that I will be glad I was here for my Mom. that I will have no regrets. I admit I regret I have not been as patient as I wanted to be, it has been hard to be with her as a friend – I am hoping when she is settled in her new home that we can have a more enjoyable relationship.
Tags: adult family home, dementia, emotions, Mother, The Universe
Gift of RA 
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