Two Weeks Out of Rehab

It’s been rather an upheaval since I came home from rehab – though today is a stellar day because it is our 43rd wedding anniversary.  When I think about what I was doing 43 years ago, I realize how young and inexperienced I was even though I thought I was terribly mature.  I often wonder how I would have handled living in Australia if I had today’s knowledge and experience.  It certainly made me grow up, plus Eddie and I developed a closeness in that tiny farming town that has lasted all these years.  Our life together has been interesting and challenging, I am so grateful Eddie chose to stay when I was diagnosed with RA, as well as all the other things we have had to face.  There are other men who would have left because they weren’t willing to deal with any of it.  So this is a doubly lovely anniversary.

When I left rehab, I came home to the house – I wasn’t sure how it was going to be getting around the house with the walker.   It turned out better than I expected, though I was moving very carefully and slowly.  Unfortunately I had been away 8 weeks and Mom had forgotten I lived there – also mostly had forgotten who I was.  For the next few days she seemed to treat me as if I was made of fine porcelain or spun glass, constantly asking if I was all right.  On Sunday we all packed up and left the house so Brad could start demolition in the bathroom.  We found an adult family home for Mom and I am living at a hotel at the airport – Eddie spends some nights with me and sometimes sleeps at the house – there is water for the bathroom downstairs.  However, we haven’t told Mom that because she would want to come home too.  She is not happy about being at the adult home but there isn’t anything we can do about it.  It looks as if it will be the end of next week before we can come back to the house.  We hated telling her when we saw her yesterday afternoon, she is bored and not happy there.

I am here at the hotel mostly by myself and no car – I can only go out if someone gives me a ride.  It’s hard to be dependent after being able to go and do whenever I want when I want.  Carol took me to Breakfast Club last Wednesday and this week after Breakfast Club I went to outpatient physical therapy.  Tuesday Pat Murray took me to my first outpatient therapy – driving a honking great Suburban that I had to climb into.  Then he picked me up in a VW Beetle – he had to pull me out of that one.  It was a bit hard asking for a ride but I have found they are are all quite happy to do it – they are true friends.  It was fun to go back and see friends at the gym, though it felt a bit different since I could leave when I was finished.  Tony did an assessment and I scored well on it – still things to strengthen and do so I am not dependent on the walker.  He had me walking without my walker – I did warn him I walk like Walter Brennan.  Unfortunately he didn’t know who that was, so I had to explain.  I did okay, then he had me walk with a cane around the circuit – out one door, down the hall and in the other door.  Rather an interesting experience.  On Wednesday I was working with Michael, helping me with balancing and strength along with stretching.  I don’t want to use the wheely walker for the rest of my life all the time, so I am determined to work as hard as possible to go on my own steam.

Staying at home was not as difficult as I thought it would be – Mom’s caregivers came and that made a big difference.  I want to continue that as long as possible so she has things going on for her and I can have some quiet time.  After 2 weeks in a hotel with no way to get around, I am frustrated as all get out, tired of feeling useless and helpless because I can’t drive and accomplish some things so Eddie doesn’t have to do everything.  I will see the surgeon on May 23rd, I hope he will give me the okay to drive.  I also think I may have to practice a little before  going out in traffic, it has been almost 3 months.  Yes, I know This Too Shall Pass, I’m just impatient for it to pass.

Eddie comes by most days after work, sometimes he is so tired and just sacks out at home.  It feels as if there are so many things that need to be done that we are running from here to there.  We seem to spent time eating out a lot, not the way we usually eat.


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