Unexpected Lessons

It has been a very interesting two weeks, not anything I would like to repeat, thank you very much.  First it was me, I went to bed one night and suddenly was dizzy as I started to lie down.  Whoa, this is familiar and I am not happy about it.  I had a middle ear infection a couple of times in the past and the doc couldn’t do anything but give me something for the symptoms – dizziness, headache and nausea.  He said it would go away in 10 days.  The first few days were a little rough, had to watch how I bent in any direction as well as lying down or changing positions.  It did dissipate and I was fine.  This time I was moving slowly but doing well, went to my networking breakfast group, then had a lovely coffee morning with a friend  When I got up to make a pitstop, suddenly I had a terrible headache and upset stomach.  I found myself overwhelmingly tired as well – now that was a new one on me.  I managed to drive home safely ready to head for bed.  Didn’t quite make it because I had a couple of things waiting for me at home.   At one point I fell fast asleep in the chair and that helped a bit, but I was in bed by 8:30 that night.  I slept well and was better the next day, though still being aware of how I bent  in any direction.  All this on top of having a lot of neck and shoulder pain again – I had a project for a client and I was on the computer too long.

That was me.  About 4 am Monday morning I woke up and hear my Mom calling – she had fallen and was having trouble getting up.  I called 911 and asked for help – I specifically asked them to come quietly, no sirens or lights.   They were great and when Mom’s hip hurt when they lifted her, they called an ambulance to take her to the ER.  Then I got dressed and went down to see her.  I am happy to report no broken bones, just bad bruising and unfortunately compressed discs in her lower back from arthritis.  They were very good to her and it was a quiet time while we were there.  They gave her prescriptions for an anti-inflammatory and Vicodin for the pain.  I took her home and tucked her into bed, then went out for the scripts.  I gave her the pain pill and she slept most of the day and night.  She was a little better the next day but the 2nd day got to her, so it was not the easiest day.   I know from my own experience that the 2nd day is usually the worst, the day after it can feel as if I have “gotten away with it”.  It is now Friday and she is doing a lot better.  My big concern was that she wouldn’t be able to do thngs for herself, I am not physically able to help her and I wondered what I would do to take care of what was necessary.

I am rather pleased with myself, I didn’t get all panicky and scared when it happened, nor when I was in the ER and even since Mom has been home.  My goodness, I have finally grown up!  I suddenly realize I have been dealing with my own stuff and also with Mom and I don’t feel worried or scared.  I will admit to an odd moment or more of “what if?” but I took myself in hand and concentrated on being just in that moment.  At that moment I was safe, Mom was safe, Eddie was safe and we are doing well.   I had never really done that  before and while in that moment I called on God, my angels, spirits, guides and master teachers to be with me to help and guide me through this.  So far I have been calm and at peace, though a bit stir crazy once in awhile.   So I have been comfortable leaving Mom for a little bit to do what I needed to do and have a little alone time for myself.  However, Monday is MY day and I am spending it with my good friend Kathie at Olypmus Spa to soak in hot tubs, steamrooms, whatever feels good.  Mom will have her ladies, so she won’t be alone.

I’ve realized I am now the parent, doing what Mom used to do for us girls when we were growing up.  Before it was just a word I didn’t want to think about or acknowledge, but now it is here right in front of me.  I realized I wasn’t alone, Eddie has been great helping with things, I knew her doctor was there if I needed anything or had questions and I also know someone whose business is providing help for people in their homes.  It has been quite an experience, one I do not want to repeat, but it has given me more confidence in myself.

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