Gift of RA

At my network breakfast club I was talking to Robbi and I realized it has been quite a while since we had time to talk.  It was a lovely conversation because I felt as if we had just picked up  from when we left off the last time.  Not only that, we don’t have to explain things to each other, we “get” the other.  She is some , she brought in some of her many quilt tops – she doesn’t do the quilting until she is ready to give them away.  Even though I haven’t done any quilting for quite a while, I still check things out.  I mentioned how quilting has changed and it was great to know she has noticed it as well – both of us aren’t that pleased with the changes.

Everyone has people in their lives like that – friends you may not see or talk with very often, but who are so much on your wave length it never feels that way.  You just seem to pick up where you were the last time.  I have one friend I really miss seeing because of things in my life and in hers, yet when I get an email or call from her, the sun comes out.  She has a lot of knowledge and experience in things I don’t, so I learn a lot from her – how lovely it works well in the opposite direction.

Another friend I have known since the 9th grade.  We have stayed in touch through all my moves and we would get together any time I came here to visit my parents.  Now that I live here again, I see her more often – I have noticed as we have “matured” we have had a little harder time finding a day for ourselves.  That means those days feel more special and we have many shared experiences and talents that work to keep us so well-connected.  She is much better at emailing than I am.  I remember we started to email before we moved here, we were sharing the same type of experience and it made it so much easier to write to someone who understood what was happening and also what I was feeling.

I have many close friends but who live in places I used to live.  I don’t have an opportunity to visit them and they don’t have one to come here.  I wouldn’t be at all surprised to find we would be instantly connected if we talked with each other and had time to spend together.  That is one of the things about moving several times – I lose touch with good friends and it is difficult to leave them.  I started finding I didn’t make close friends the last couple of move – it hurt too much to leave.  I found my life a bit lonely, I also had a Newcomer Group to socialize and make friends.  I started quilting in Atlanta – that was something I could take wherever I went and quilt shops have classes and quilters.

Someone I met here is still close, though she lives near Las Vegas.  She has family here and once or twice I have had a visit with her when she came to town.  I think she is moving back, not sure.  When I talk to her on the phone, I feel she is right here in the room with me.  She has boundless energy and enthusiasm that definitely rubs off on me.  She was a guest on my radio show in the studio, that was a real kick and we had a great time.

Then there are the ones who I meet and it feels as if we have known each other forever.   Sometimes it is instantly, other times it is in a very short time.  It happens when I least expect it and over the years I have learned to wait for a while before I decide it is real.  I have experiences where there was an instant connection and then later it cooled off, something wasn’t quite right.  I have also had more experiences when it was real.  A little wait and see is often smart.

I have also had the opposite – I didn’t like the person at first and as I began to know them, I changed my mind.  I remember at the Newcomers Club in New Jersey, I met a woman and instantly disliked her; I admit I was looking at her outside appearance and mannerisms.  I saw her in many interest groups and I began to change my mind as I got to know her better and she became a good friend.  This is another wait and see situation – first impressions aren’t always true impressions.

Over the years seeing doctors, etc. for RA, I have met some really great people – I would rather know them in a social situation instead of a medical one.  I really appreciate when they are friendly and have a sense of humor.  The Wound Care group is so great – there is a little too much fun going on there.  They are very serious about what they do and do it very well; it is pleasure to go see them.  It would be better if we could all gather and have fun in a social setting – I’m not happy about the reason for going, I appreciate how they operate.

I definitely prefer people with a sense of humor, especially now.  More often I find people who give me a blank look when I mention something or  make a joke.  It is quite possible I am not as witty as I think I am, but I often get laughs when I least expect it.  I find myself saying something without thinking, usually works out, but the blank look makes me wonder.  However, I will continue doing it because that’s me and it comes out without my realizing it.  If I can make someone laugh, all the blank stares don’t matter.

Tags: "get" you, "matured", 9th grade, connected, first impressions, friends, instant connection, quilting, same wave length, shared experience and talents, situations, wait and see

This entry was posted on May 1, 2016 at 10:46 am and is filed under Musings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.