I can think of a lot of things I could or need to do, but at the moment I don’t really have the energy. One thing I have learned is that writing it out often helps a lot, even if it is just to express it and get it out of my mind. I look back on yesterday as a good day. I had a great show with Dave Gagley, my attorney friend and the one who helped me so much with Mom and her affairs. It was fun and we had a caller with a good question. I kept it to estate planning since it is only a half hour, but I would like to have Dave on again for other things.
I had time between finishing the show and my chiropractor appointment, so I read a Dick Francis book – didn’t want to put it down until I saw how it all came together. I did enjoy my adjustment, Cheryl is gentle but very effective. Lately I have been stiff and sore around my clavicle girdle – that is around my back, neck and shoulders. Guess there is still tension and stress. I decided to have coffee and something while I read, that was enjoyable. I was also putting off going to the funeral home to “pick up Mom and Dad”.
I took Dad’s ashes on Friday and they combined them so when I scatter them from on the Sound from a ferry, they will be together. I also arranged for some to go to Candy, she wants to do something for them around Dad’s birthday. It is the only physical evidence of them now, their essences are not in the earthly container any more. It is amazing how heavy ashes are – the box and container with Dad’s was really heavy and the two together was also heavy. I am not sure what I am feeling other than uncomfortable – yet there is no reason to be uncomfortable. All this is new to me, I am so glad to have Dave helping me navigate the legal stuff, Char has helped a lot because she did it for both her mom and dad. So many people have offered whatever help I need, I need to sort out how that looks for me.
By the time I got home, I was exhausted. It was after 3, too late to have a nap. However, I was happy to go to bed early and glad I slept well last night. It is a kind of droopy day today and I decided to just go with it rather than push against it. I probably would have been better off having a lie down in the afternoon, but I didn’t. However, bed looks pretty good right now.
It is a whole lot later than I planned – it’s Friday afternoon. I have been having naps and sleeping pretty well at night – that is all to the good. Wednesday morning before leaving for Breakfast Club, I had an email from Ellen with a Flash From the Past – she sent a photo with everything blooming.
It makes me think of my Mom and how much she enjoyed her flowers. I had a real lift from it and I made sure I emailed Ellen back to let her know how much I appreciated it.
When I went to Breakfast Club, I wasn’t so down and droopy. They are a wonderful group of colleagues and friends, it is often a lift to the week. I will say the week got better after that. Thursday I spent at Apple learning more about Pages, though she had several new ones who didn’t know how to do it. I mostly played around the cards and looking on the internet for pictures, etc. – I didn’t have a particular project. I was surprised to find myself really tired, I seem to be okay in the morning and then suddenly run out of energy. I decided to have a nap and since we hadn’t turned on the furnace yet, it was cold and I was glad to curl up in the warm cocoon of the bed and sleep or doze.
Last night we went out to Mongolian Grill for dinner, we haven’t done that for quite a while and we enjoy it. Also, no dishes to wash. it has been pouring a lot this week, we managed to find a break in the action to go to dinner. Eddie has had the brunt of it going to and from Mukilteo, even hail yesterday
I decided to turn on the furnace this afternoon, three layers of wool and a layer of cotton wasn’t keeping me warm. We thought about waiting until the 1st of November, but I just decided I had had enough of being cold and turned it on. Blessed warmth! If I were brought up in the UK, 61 degrees would seem quite comfortable. I went to breakfast this morning with Judith and Juno – I almost didn’t, but figured Why not. I enjoyed it and then went over to the funeral home to pick up Mom’s death certificates. Suddenly ran out of energy and thought about coming home for a nap. I ended up calling people about being a guest on my show or being a sponsor. Not sure how any of it will turn out – it is God;s hands.
It has been the kind of week I’ve had for the past couple of weeks or so. Still not sure what I feel or how I am doing, just working my way through what’s happening this day without wondering about tomorrow.