Plates Spinning

August 17, 2014

At times I feel as if I have several plates spinning on sticks – similar to the  people Ed Sullivan used to have on his program.  Some days I feel like this:

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Everything is nicely balanced and I am in as much control as I can be.  Then there are days like today and the past week, I haven’t felt much control and there doesn’t seem to be enough time to keep them all spinning properly:

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I could give a name to each plate – cleaning out Mom & Dad’s stuff, my new website for my business, a new website for my radio show, understanding how the sponsoring works and finding sponsors, doing Eddie’s new report (he isn’t doing the Round Up but calling it The Kaplanian Report, not associated with the Future of Flight), things for Mom, personal business stuff, Apple Group Training and also One to One,my blog, my book, Kaplanian International stuff, etc.

This week I have been  doing a lot of clearing out bureau drawers – the stuff my parents kept!  All kinds of cards they received and Mom had so many cards ready to send for almost any occasion, I am going to give them to the Goodwill so other people can use them.  I have bags of papers to put in recycle – our wheelie bin is full to the top and I have 2 other bags ready – plus things I have put away in boxes to see if my sister Candy wants them.  I found 2 photographs from North American Aircraft in an original envelope that is going to the Boeing Archives, lovely to know they will be pleased to have them.

My parents kept things even though they were worn out, some things had never been used and there is a beautiful  grey wool yard length – very fragrant with moth balls.   And letters from people, from Mom & Dad to his parents, letters from both his sisters and letters from his Uncle James to Dad’s father.  I had a hard time reading the hand writing, I am putting them away to read later since I need to work on the clearing out.

Along with that, I was having a lot of discomfort – the toilet and I became close companions on thursday, Friday and even into Saturday, though not as much.  The tummy was unhappy and I was really tired.  Yesterday after we did all our stuff, I came home and crawled into bed with Bunny to sleep some of it off – and I was better when I woke up.  Not sure what happened because I didn’t eat anything  different.  I have been very careful how much I eat, the tummy gets uncomfortable.  I have been using water and baking soda which seems to help.  maybe the side effects of veggies.

We finally had rain this week, blessed soaking rain.  I have been feeling very dry and parched and it was so lovely to hear the raining really coming down as I was lying in bed.  Rain is so refreshing and makes things feel washed clean.  Now it will be 81 today and 83 tomorrow, then back to the 70’s – that’s quite okay with me.

I have been playing phone tag to arrange a haircut for Mom, finally made it for Tuesday.  Her hair is getting long and needs cutting – not sure how she will be when the time comes.  She is very feisty when anyone wants to do anything for her – I make sure I am there for the hair cut and sit beside her.  There is no way to tell how she will be from one minute to the next, one day to the next.  I saw her on Friday and she was rather sleepy, though chocolate sounded very good to her.  She was cuddling a stuffed dog or cat and Judy had put a chair on each side of her, she could easy fall to the side.  She seems to mumble more than before.   I don’t know how much she knows that Fern died last week.  Fern was 102 and having a lot of pain in her body, as well as feeling alone since she was used to family all around.

I’ve been wondering if  visiting Mom and clearing out things has had an emotional and mental effect as well as physical.  It maybe stirring up a lot of old programs, messages and memories that I had not been conscious of for quite awhile.  The bottom drawer of the desk is definitely a proud parent’s drawer; all the drawings and things the three of us girls have done since we were very young are there.

I saw Mom on Monday and then went to my Caregiver’s Support Group.  I’m so glad I did, it helps so much.  I told them what was going on with Mom and that I feel as if I am walking in thigh deep water.  It feels more than just fatigue, but there is more to it – I can’t really name it at the moment.  I also realize each time I go that I have it relatively easy compared to the others.  They have to deal with so much more, how they cope I can only imagine.  I will admit, I have periods of feeling I have such a difficult time – usually when I am tired and worn down.  I haven’t figured out how to actually become rested while still doing what I need to do.  Is that what’s called the horns of a dilemma?

Cleaning Out

August 10, 2014

I knew I had to start cleaning out drawers and closets but there was something holding me back.  Not necessarily the size of the project so much as going through my parents’ belongings.  If you saw the house, it doesn’t necessarily look as though anything has been done – it is more the inside where there is a difference.  I cleared out a shelf in the office with things both Mom and Dad had clipped and saved, mostly Mom’s idea pile.  She had a lot of articles about rug hooking, pattern ideas, calendars with flowers and some patterns she had transfer to a backing to hook.  I found her patterns for the coat of arms rug – a list of tartans and descriptions as well as individual shield patterns.

Thursday afternoon I started on the desk in the living room, clearing out the top of the desk with all the little drawers and cubby holes.  I know I come from a long line of  pack rats, but I had no idea how much Mom kept.  I filled a shopping bag with old pay stubs for Dad, check registers, you name it.  I was really tired by the time I finished that.  Friday I started on the first three large drawers below – another full bag of things.  I put all the things to be shredded on top of the desk and Eddie took care of that for me – they may be old but I want to be sure no one can use the information.  I have one more drawer to go.  then it is on to the bedroom.

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It was interesting to see what Mom kept, there are reports from school for all three of us, some letters from grandparents, congratulation cards for all three of us from relatives, a bunch of newspaper articles about family members – the others I don’t know who they are but I think they are people Mom went to school with or knew in Glastonbury.  There are pictures of all kinds and in the lower drawers she has so many cards to use for any occasion.  I may send those over to Goodwill and some other things.  Letters, photos and other papers I have in a box so Candy and Ellen can check them out.

It will be interesting to see what is squirreled away in the bedroom bureaus.  Now that I have done most of the desk, I realize it would have been smart to do it a lot sooner.  Maybe it has just taken this long to be ready to do it.  I need to clean things out to sell them, otherwise they would be very heavy and there is no telling what is in the drawers.

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I put the dining room table on Craig’s list last Saturday – no word so far.  I had been hesitant to do it only because I didn’t know how it worked and what to do.  I checked out eBay as well just to have an idea how much I could ask – 52″ round mahogany pedestal table with 3 leaves, 6 chairs and table protectors.  Turned out it was very hard to list it on Craig’s List, so I will put another on the site.

We need to start going through books and donate them to the library.  I want to make sure which ones are worth keeping or truing to sell – the ones I have with Judith on her online book store are still there.  She said things are very slow right now.  I do want to check with her to find out which books are valuable then decide what to do with them.

I know Mom is no longer in this world but a world of her own – still, it feels strange to be doing this while she is still alive.  Yet she isn’t going to be coming back and it is long past time for Eddie and me to make this house our own.  I often feel pulled in 2 opposite directions.

I visit Mom twice a week and I notice she is more sleepy when I come – some days she is quite alert and aware.  The day she didn’t know who I was took me a little by surprise and since she was in a feisty mood, she didn’t want anyone to touch her.  So now I ask her if she would like a hug and the other day, she said yes, and a kiss.  I know the not recognizing me will come more often, I hope to be able to be objective about it and not get upset.  She loves chocolate and cookies, always saying yes to them.  When she is really sleepy, I will save some of the cookies and put them in her room for later – Judy says she will have a snack in the afternoon.  I tend to put her to sleep when I read, she says that’s fine.

Every day is an education, learning experience and challenge, I am working on seeing it that way rather than a upsetting situation.  I am working on it every day and I have made a lot of progress, though I am still a work in progress.

Seafair Weekend

August 3, 2014

Today is the hydroplane races and the program by the Blue Angels.  It is the last weekend of Seafair, though it doesn’t have the same feel it did when I was growing up. It was for only a week or two and there was a lot of excitement about the different neighborhood parades, the crowing of miss Seafair, the Seafair parade, the Torchlight parade and certainly when the pirates came ashore.  Now that it is for a least a month or more, it feels as if it passes by very quietly.  Maybe I just grew up in a more innocent time – without cell phones in every hand.

The Blue Angels have been practicing since Wednesday – I know when the I-90 bridge is closed because the planes all come over the house.  The wind has been from the north, so they have been taking off that way and then make a sharp left turn to go south or not so sharp to go north.  There are those who complain about them every year but it is only for a few days.  I thing I notice is when I hear the Blue Angels, they have already passed by.  They also have several Osprey  helicopters this year – they came by the house Wednesday and I have heard them a couple of other times.

Eddie is glad he isn’t at the Museum of Flight today – it is usually a zoo.  Today is his first day volunteering at the LeMay American Car Museum in Tacoma.  The Volunteer Coordinator was quite impressed with his resume and the two references he gave. Now he will be there the Sunday he isn’t at the Museum.  He is now doing things for PNAA and getting paid for it.  he had 4 students and the professor the other week and had a lot of fun with them.  he has just been asked to be Volunteer Coordinator for their events.  he will find out more about it when he goes the meeting on Aug. 26th.

This weekend has felt a little strange – he took a vacation day on Friday and it has felt a bit odd ever since.  He came with me to see Mom Friday – she was doing pretty well and was willing to have a back rub.  She was pleased to see Eddie and enjoy the cookies and chocolate I brought.  i read for a bit and then we left.  I know he was itching to leave but he didn’t show it very much this time.

We went down to LeMay for him to pick up his red logo shirt and I met the Coordinator.  Very nice woman and friendly.  Then we did some of our errands and came home.  It has been warm the past week or more, a little rain early in the week but  just enough to settle the dust.  I’m ready for a good steady rain to refresh everything.

Saturday it rained early for a short while, then thunder and another shower.  We were sitting at the table looking out and not only was it raining, the sun was shining.  I didn’t see a rainbow but I saw something I never saw before – every once in a while the sun would shine on a raindrop and it looked like a diamond falling from the sky.  It reminded me of the first time I saw fireflies in New Jersey.  Several times it thundered and rain for a bit – one point it was hailing as well.  Then it all quit and no chance of rain again.

I don’t know if anyone outside Seattle has heard of Big Bertha and the tunnel under the city – a tunnel that is going nowhere fast.  This is to replace the Alaskan Way Viaduct – 4 lanes to take 6 lanes of traffic.  I don’t quite see how that computes, plus they are going to charge to use it.  So far I have heard they are going to charge $5 each way.  No idea what it will be when the tunnel is in use, if it ever is.

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I doubt I will use it not only because of the toll but mostly because I am claustrophobic and this doesn’t look very conducive to feeling relaxed.  But that is the plan.  This is Big Bertha:

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It’s quite something and huge – the men below look like small toy people.

There have been more than one hiccup – first a pipe they didn’t know was there, then the blade needed replacing and this time it has been stuck for months because they have to figure out a way to get to the front to fix it.  This is what it is like for the first 1000 feet, not a quick boring machine.  There are still miles to go.

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I’m sure it all makes sense to the builders but it is definitely not my cup of tea.

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These concrete pieces are piled up all over the work area.  They look smaller as one goes up and down the S curve ramp by the side of the digging.

As you can tell, I am not in favor of this thing.  They needed to repair the Viaduct and then hire a Trompe l’oeil  artist to paint beautiful columns on the sides since a lot of people talk about how ugly it is.  I don’t think it is, but maybe I am too traditional.  It would be a whole lot less money and it wouldn’t screw up traffic so much.

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This is a flood wall but supposed they painted some cool columns

 They never put a proper bill on the ballot for us to vote for or against – that sucks.  Politicians seem to ignore voters unless it suits them.  We have 2 stadiums side by side – one was voted down at least 3 times and  they went behind our backs to do it anyway.  They had been talking about another stadium a mile or so south for a basket ball team – give us a break!  Lately all is quiet about that but it is likely to come up again.

Oh my, I didn’t mean to rant on about the tunnel, maybe I have been keeping it in for too long.

Back to the Warm Stuff!

July 29, 2014

I know we don’t have very hot weather compared to a lot of places – I spent a lot of time living in the Eastern half of the country so I know hot and humid.  I don’t do that well with hot weather and when I found central air conditioning, I knew I had found the solution to being comfortable at home.  Then it was only going out somewhere that was very uncomfortable.  Plus I never knew how cold the air conditioning would be in shops, restaurants or hotels.  it would be cold inside the grocery sore and coming outside to the heat and humidity was as if I had been hit by a wet gauze curtain.

As a result, I am so happy to be back here in Seattle, not only the weather but also a large body of salt water and proper mountains.  Yes, I am probably a wuss, but I like to be comfortable. Our idea of hot weather is different.  We were close to 90 yesterday and will no doubt be about that again today – glad to have a day to myself at home with the windows open and the furnace fan circulating air from one floor to another.  It definitely makes sleeping at night more comfortable.   We have lovely breezes but for some reason they die down after dark – just when we need the cool air.  That’s why I am glad I checked out the fan so we could have the breeze whether Mother Nature sent it or not.

I went to visit Mom yesterday morning – she was very feisty and grumpy.  She didn’t want anyone to touch her – even me.  So I said “Not even your daughter Elizabeth’?  She wasn’t sure who I was, so I gave chocolate and cookies which she enjoyed and read for a bit.  I asked if she would like a back rub, but that wasn’t accepted.  I was surprised to find I wasn’t really upset because it isn’t the first time.  I suspect as time goes on she will know me less and less.  I find I have to put the chocolate or cookie in her hand – Didi says someone has to be with her at mealtime to redirect her when she gets distracted.  I know she will slowly forget how to do the things she can do right now.

Fern – who is 102 – was at the table and she seems to enjoy hearing the book even when I put Mom to sleep.  I’m glad I can do something to entertain her, it is so hard for her because she thinks no one ever comes to visit.  Her son and his family do come, but it is in the evening after work.  Didi now has an opening because Monique left – she was a bit in another world but when she got on the bus and made it all the way to SeaTac, that was a big problem.  As far as I know Monique went to hospital but not sure what happened after that.

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I have most of the blueberry bushes covered

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The two branches that need tying up

The blueberries are ripening and the birds are having a field day.  There is a huge Stellard Blue Jay eating his fill.  On the way home yesterday, I stopped at Joann’s for nylon net.  I bought 2 3 yard pieces and sewed them together – unfortunately the blueberries extend farther than I thought.  So I need to make another trip for more and also some clips to hold it together.  They will get under the net anyway, but it will be a little harder.

Eddie picked some ripe ones last night and they were wonderful  He also found a ripe fig on the tree, so we split it – out of this world!  The apples are starting fall on the ground, probably time to check out the pears to see if any are ready to pick.  I didn’t realize pears are picked unripe and then they are left to ripen.  If they stay on the tree, they may rot.  The red ones are doing well, don’t think we have many on the other pear tree.

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How about those pears!

Cherries!!!

July 27, 2014

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Royal Anne Cherries

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Rainier Cherries

It’s cherry season and they are less now than when they first came in to the stores.  We have been buying Rainier cherries, though I feel they are just like the Royal Annes we had when I was growing up.  I looked it up and the Royal Annes are smaller, not as flavorful – I remember them as delicious.  Who ever planted them next to the garage – espaliered across the side – didn’t understand long terms effects.

They were already planted and tall, producing the most wonderful cherries.  As I stand at the kitchen counter eating Rainier cherries, I am sent back to being a little girl in the summer time.  I would walk down the sidewalk and pull a branch down to eat my fill of cherries.  It’s a wonder I didn’t get sick to my stomach.

When Eddie and I would come back to visit Mom and Dad, he would enjoy them as much as I did.  I remember one day when the two of them climbed on the roof and picked a big bowl of cherries.  Later they sat eating cherries while watching baseball.

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Imagine 2 very large cherry trees right up next to the garage.  I think I have a picture somewhere, but it will take a while to find it.

We also had “the little cherry tree” near the two – it was a pollinator and the bird made sure we never had any of those.  They did a pretty good job on the Royal Annes, but there were so many on the trees that there was enough for everyone.  I’m sure there were little furry creatures from the canyon that came in the night for their share as well.  Those trees served us very well.

It seemed in later years the trees had less fruit and the wildlife managed to abscond with most of the cherries before we had a chance.  Then came a point when they grew too big and began to push the garage over.  When I looked at the garage from the street, it listed to starboard.  So Mom and Dad had to have them cut down, but left the “little tree”.  Somehow two other trees grew over on the edge of the property to the north.  The wildlife took care of any fruit they might have produced.

Finally they began to look so sad, dying and shriveling up the leaves.  So I had John come over last year and cut them down, that was hard to see happen.  I still have the tree trucks, John sawed them up in wood slices and I have used them in my three beds.  So they are still useful and not completely gone.

The blackberries are also ripening now – they seem to take over everywhere.  Reminds me a bit of kudzu in Atlanta.  These have wonderful, juicy blackberries, but this vines and thorns will tear you to ribbons at the blink of an eye.  Believe me, it’s hard work but the results are delicious – once you  attend to the wounds.

What I remember most were the tiny blackberries that grew in the fields.  They have tiny thorns that stuck me and stayed in there for a long time.  We used to call it “frying our brains” because we were in the sun and it was hot.  We would see if we could gather enough for a pie, one year we even picked enough for jam.

We also had raspberries bushes, I would pick in the morning and then late in the afternoon it would like as if I hadn’t picked any.  We had lots of those for breakfast, Mom made jam and many went from bush to mouth.  We had blueberries as well, loved the blueberry pancakes in the morning, though plain blueberries in a bowl were lovely.  Picking blueberries was easy, not thorns and the bushes were just next to the back porch.

Funny how eating fruit takes me back to my childhood; the taste, smell, texture all bring pictures to my mind of when and how I used to eat, pick and enjoy each one.

Mixed Up Week

July 26, 2014

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This has nothing to do with the post but I enjoy Ellen’s photos a lot and this makes me smile.

It has been a rather oddball week, at times I wasn’t sure what day it was, what time it was or what was happening next.  Certainly traffic has been a real problem because they closed all but one lane each way on the I-90 bridge to fix expansion joints.  Friday night to the following Friday morning, Eddie had a long commute from up north coming home.  Of course it didn’t help that the President arrived on Tuesday – for 2 fundraisers rather than what to do about the wildfires.  It took Eddie about 2 1/2 hours to get home each day.  Because of the traffic, they didn’t open the archives, so Eddie spent Wednesday up north taking  4 students and their professor for a tour and a couple of places.  This was done for PNAA rather than the Future of Flight.

I went to see Mom on Monday afternoon because there was an assessment being done – like the one done last year.  The guy saw a definite decline in how she is from the last time; Didi was there and was able to tell him what she needs help with – everything.  She was a little uncomfortable saying it in front of me, but I told her it’s what I need to hear.  In many ways I wasn’t surprised and it didn’t hit me quite as much as last year.  I have noticed she does less and less, I have to put the cookie or chocolate in her hand.  When I went Friday, I brought cookies for the house.

Tuesday was a day for myself – I worked on my radio show.  I am working on creating a picture in my mind to help me see it clearly.  I am thinking of starting with a 30 minute show during the week and seeing how it goes.  So I put together a clock for myself with each minute so I can visualize how much time for program and how for ads.  Still lots of questions, but I feel it is important for it to be clear to me before I can explain it any sponsor.  I would like to meet with Brian and Erik, this time with questions and see how to organize the show and all the parts that need to be set.  It’s interesting to notice bits and pieces of it come together without great effort.  I think deciding on guests is the easy part.

Wednesday I went to Breakfast Club and then went to see Cheryl again.  I really felt exhausted after my adjustment, so I came home and found no electricity – I don’t need electricity to have a nap.  So I did.  When I woke up, I had no idea what time it was.   Melanie from PNAA called to see if Eddie was home because she was anxious to know how things went.  I asked her what time it was – 3:15.  About 3:30 Eddie called and the electricity came on – he wanted me to call Melanie to let her know everything went like clockwork and they were delighted.  So I called and she was pleased to heart.  I told her Eddie would call her when he came home – whenever that was.  She appreciated my call.  I have to admit, I was not sure what was going on – I felt confused because of my nap and no electricity.

We also had rain this week – blessed relief.  I would have liked a day or two more rain, everything is dry and parched – especially me.  Now it is a fresh, washed clean feeling and certainly the air is clearer.  Having temperatures in the high 80’s and into the 90’s are a bit much – I prefer 75 to 80. Now it is due to go up to the 80’s again.  Tomorrow is the Ravenna Volvo picnic where the dealership invites owners and friends to celebrate with them.  Looks as if it is going to be a lovely day tomorrow.  Eddie cleaned his car very well this afternoon for the car show.  He just bought a new wagon and it is different from the other wagons, so that should generate a lot of comments and compliments.

Thursday I went to Apple to Group Training to help me put together a new header for the new blog for Eddie.  He isn’t doing the regular newsletter for Future of Flight any more and this is going to be a work in progress until we figure out how we want it to be.  Looks like another education for me.

Friday Eddie took the day off to go down to the LeMay Car Museum about volunteering.  I went to see Mom with cookies for house – she was a bit droopy but certainly ready for chocolate and cookies.  In some ways rather she was rather talkative while I read D.E. Stevenson – no idea what she was saying, but it was important to her.  Afterwards, I met Eddie at home and we went down to visit the place that will put a coating on his car to prevent dings from rocks.  He is going to take next Friday off since he has to leave it the whole day.  Then we can use my car to visit Mom and do what we want to do.  Afterwards we had something at Barnes & Noble and did some grocery shopping.

Today we did some different things – went to Whole Foods, then over to Des Moines to the car wash for tomorrow and then stopped for ice cream.  Auntie Irene’s is the only place I know that has licorice ice cream – yummy.  Eddie is doing the laundry and I am about done with this – there’s an old movie on we want to watch.  I think things will feel more normal on Monday.

Past My Comfort Zone

July 20, 2014

I have started a new project, though I have been thinking about it and wanting to do it for the past few years.  So why haven’t I done it before now?  Great question!  I think it has mostly been –  what I am beginning to understand finally – a result of my core belief, I am not good enough.  I have seen myself in terms of what I don’t have – a degree, a specific talent, training – I can go on and on.  I was also concerned about who would be interested in what I have to say, that no one would tune in to me.  All those insecurities running around my brain. Strangely enough, about 5 weeks ago I calmly wrote an email:

  I have been wanting to do a radio show, not quite sure how to clearly define it.  I have had Rheumatoid Arthritis for 43 years and in the last few years I have been thinking in terms of finding the gifts in it rather than seeing myself as a victim.  Since February of 2010, I have been writing a blog called www.giftofra.com,
wanting to share my experiences and what I am learning can help others.  I am in the process of writing an ebook with a collection of blog posts about RA – I plan to do one about dementia since I have been dealing with my Mom’s for the past 3 or 4 years.  I have spent most of those 43 years dealing with it on my own and it would have been great to have someone with more experience to consult.  In some way, I would like to be that person – I am only an expert in my own RA.  
      I probably need someone to help me decide the focus and audience for a show – I have been thinking of calling it Finding The Gifts.  It is scary, yet I have been thinking about it the last few years while I have enjoyed listening to KKNW.  There is a part of me that thinks “Why would anyone want to listen to me?”, I know that is the no part of me.  If I don’t actively do something about it, it will always be something I wanted to do but never had the courage.
I had a really nice email in response:
My name is Brian Egge with KKNW.  Erik Krema the Operations Manager at KKNW gave me your contact information.  I am sorry to hear about your condition, but it sounds like you have made the best of it.  I think it’s very admirable that you want to share your experiences with others that may have the same condition and help consult them.  Erik and I would love to hear more about yourself and your condition to see how it will relate to the KKNW audience.
About 2 weeks later I went over to the radian station to meet with Brian and Erik.  It was a lot of  fun and they were terrific.  What has surprised me through this whole thing is how calm I am – I wasn’t worried about my looks even though I am heavier than I have ever been.  I just thought, this is who I am at this moment and I am fine with it.  I didn’t have the butterflies in my stomach or any of that, nor did I feel insecure and see myself as not having much to offer.  They asked questions and I had no problem answering them, plus I put in a few bits myself.
I was amazed when they said I had the timbre and voice for radio – I told them I spent a lot of years answering the phone and having people ask if my mother was there – the timing.  They really wanted me to come and do a show for the station.  All I had to do was tell them when.  Then I got the fluttering inside.  I must admit, I was stunned and it hadn’t really seemed real or sunk in at the point.  WOW!  I had no idea.
Now, the sticking point is getting sponsors to fund the show – no way I can afford it on my own.  I have talked to a couple of friends and they are interested – I just have to understand how it all works.  I told them I would start a list of questions – I always have questions, just ask my clients.  Interestingly enough, I had started a notebook about my radio show 2 or 3 years ago, that made a start for right now.
Later I had another email from Brian:
Thanks for the email.  Well Erik and I really do believe you would be excellent as a radio host on KKNW.  Yes, I would be happy to send you some information to share with your people of interest for sponsoring.  I will put something together and try to email it to you by no later than Monday afternoon.  Does that work?
Does that work?  You bet your ass it does.  This is new territory for me, so it is a bit confusing at the moment.  I want to meet with them again to find out how it all works.  It has finally sunk in and I have been thinking about it and what I would do.  I had some ideas for music I listed in my notebook, then Friday I was listening to my Susan Boyle cd in the car and the last song is “This Is The Moment” and it hit me because it said a lot of things that described how I was feeling.
It is less expensive to do it outside 6 to 6 weekdays, but I have decided to aim high and do half an hour on a weekday – shoot for the moon and I will at least land on a star.  Once again, I need to talk with them about it.  I know there are a lot more things to do, I am working on what I know to do right now and see what comes next.

Last Part of The Song

July 13, 2014

I decided to  finish up the last 2 verses of  “My Favorite Things”.   If Ellen and Candy have any photos to contribute, then I will redo it.

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1-Dancer

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes

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Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes

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Silver white winters that melt into springs

These are a few of my favorite things

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When the dog bites

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When the bee stings

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When I’m feeling sad

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I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don’t feel so bad

One More Time!

July 9, 2014

My sisters and I were on a roll when Ellen first sent the Raindrops On Roses photo and I asked about Whiskers on Kittens – Candy’s cue to send a photo of her friends kittens.  I realize now I thought I knew the words to My Favorite Things from The Sound of Music. NEWS FLASH!  I don’t.  So I needed to check out the lyrics and see where I went off track.

Raindrops on roses

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and whiskers on kittens

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Bright copper kettles

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and warm woolen mittens

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Brown paper packages tied up with strings

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These are a few of my favorite things

That’s the first verse and we only did the first line – I went into the second verse with doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles after Ellen sent apple strudel.  By then we were off track but having fun.

Now to the 2nd verse, we have several pictures for that.

Cream colored ponies

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and crisp apple streudel

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Doorbells and
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Sleigh bells

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schnitzel with noodles

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Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings

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These are a few of my favorite things

The three of us have done well with the first two verses, it will be interesting to see what we come up with for the last 2 verses.  Thank You Ellen and Candy – this “project” is fun to do.

 

Bits And Bobs

July 6, 2014

brain-gear-2

This is one of those times when I want to write but haven’t an idea what to write about.  Usually something has happened, I have learned or discovered something, someone said or did something  unusual – none of it comes to mind.  I ave noticed the moles are back – they have been digging in the bed by the porch and I can see the holes, not just a pile of dirt.  They are busy little bodies, that’s for sure.

I have been working on my RA book; I think I have a better handle on the program now.  I decided to use my sister Ellen’s ocean pictures for the cover and also the chapter headings – looks pretty good.  When I feel I have the hang of the program, I will work on the book about dementia – both Ellen and Candy have flower photos and I think those will fit Mom because she loved gardening.  As for my garden, well that’s another story.  Nothing else has been done since I messed up my knee – I don’t think it is the best thing to do at the moment.  I did receive the flower seed mats and I have decided to use quilt block patterns to set them out – maybe with white stones to outline them.  I need to cut them in squares and diamonds ready to be put down.

As for the knee from my slide; I am doing better, I just started my third week of it.  I have been seeing Cheryl, my chiropractor and she has helped; mostly it is resting and taking care of myself.  I don’t do a lot in a day, just what I need to do and I have been having naps at times.  I’ve been using my cane when I go out, around the house I do okay.  It was hard to bend my knee to walk and now it is slowly getting better.  I think of the things I need and want to do, then I feel too tired to do anything about it.  I keep forgetting it takes a lot of energy to deal with it and rest is so important.  This too will pass – it always does.

I look around the office and keep thinking how much I need to clean out and organize.  There are things I no longer need and when I take the clutter out of my mind and home, there will be room for new things and ideas.  I am a pack rat, though getting less so – it’s the sentimental streak that gets me.  That is how I feel about the things someone gave me, or I used to use, etc.  Too much emotion invested in things.  One thing I have been learning through Mom and dementia is to take the emotion out of it.  Taking it personally is also part of it.  Now I am working on taking the emotion out of things – I have pictures and they  have been part of my life since I can remember.  But I am living my life, not my parents’ life – I want to have my own things around me.  Not sure I remember what I have any more, 12 years is a long time.

It is our life now – Eddie’s and mine.  I guess I feel a bit disloyal selling or giving away Mom and Dad’s things.  But it is also disloyal to Eddie to not have our things upstairs.  I feel caught in the middle a bit, I want to move on with our life together.  I think I am finally at that point I am ready to let go for myself.  The advice to people is to wait a year before making any major decisions – it is almost 2 years since Mom moved to the adult family home.  She won’t be coming home or need anything now, she isn’t really aware of anything outside where she lives.  (I think I am actually writing this to myself).

This is probably the first July 4th in quite a while that we have had sun for several days.  We tend to joke that summer doesn’t start until July 5th, this is one summer that seems to be more “normal” (if you can define that).  The sun and clouds have been playing hide go seek with each other, sometimes it is a hazy sun – not my favorite.  We actually had almost 90 on Tuesday – much to warms for me.  since I found out we have a furnace fan, I turn that on to help cool things off upstairs and bring some warmth and dryness to the basement.  It works pretty well, so Eddie and I were comfortable sleeping that night.  If it is going to be partly cloudy, then make it clear blue sky, bright sun and white puffy clouds.  I don’t mind the clouds covering the sun for a bit – it has a lighter feel,  hazy sunshine reminds me too much of L.A. and smog or East Coast with hazy, hot and humid.  I think go it as the difference between having a bad headache and feeling great.

This seems to be a bit of a mind dump – just things running through my head.  It would be a whole lot longer if I wrote about everything whirling around up there.


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