Changing Hats

September 21, 2014

Last week and this upcoming week made me realize how many hats I wear at a given time.  Seems as if this particular period of time brings them all together over a 2 week period.


Last Monday was as a new radio host, then a chiropractic client and a blogger.  Tuesday   and Wednesday I was a Promotional Marketing distributor at my Marketing Association Showcase.  Thursday I had a day to myself and  spent time on my business as a Promotional Marketing Advisor and finally a cleaner outer for my Mom’s things.  She was a hooker for over 40 years and now that she is in an adult family home, I found someone on Craig’s List interested in her supplies.  I was listing rug patterns and went through the books she has – this is going to be more of an undertaking than I realized.  Still not sure where some of her things are.

Friday I was a caretaker and daughter, visiting my Mom on a weekly visit.  I am also a longtime friend with Char who came with me on the visit.  After that we went to play and spend time catching up.  Also a wife and semi-nurse to a husband with a bad cold.  Monday I will be a radio show host and chiropractic client again, Wednesday I will be a member, Promotional Marketing Advisor and Kickass Warrior at my networking breakfast group.  Thursday I will be an RA patient for a rheumatologist visit and infusion.

This doesn’t mean I am the only one with many hats, I’ll bet everyone feels that way at one time or another. Sometimes it seems the hats need to be worn all at once or very close to each other; other times it  seems only one or two hats are worn.  In a way it makes me realize I am not just one thing, I am versatile and able to many things – some I never expected to be my role.  They have certainly been an education and have taken me out of my comfort zone.

It can be an emotional roller coaster at times.  Doing my radio show gave me flutterings inside, but I know excitement and fear feeling very much alike – I decided they were happy butterflies and they will probably be with tomorrow morning when I do the show.  Also a feeling of unreality – was I actually at the microphone of a radio station?  I checked the and there on the right on the home page was a list of shows.  mine was in there as well and when I clicked the link – there I was!  How amazing is that?

Visiting with Mom can be very difficult – Friday  she was mumbling and sleepy, though she did eat the chocolate and one of the cookies.  Char thought she seemed a bit perkier by the time we left.  Judy said they had eliminated one of her meds and there will be a difference once it is completely out of her system.  As we were leaving, Angela from Providence was arriving to vista Mom.  She is a speech therapist and she had been asked to go vista Mom and assess howe she is doing.  Apparently she was told Mom was having trouble with hot and cold food and choking at times.  I didn’t stay for 2 reasons, one I didn’t want to and second because she is different when I am around.  Angela needed to see her as she usually is.

I had no idea she was coming, so it was a real surprise.  Later she called me to let me know her assessment. Since Mom has some trouble swallowing food – part of the dementia and will get more pronounced as time goes on – and doesn’t drink enough water to keep hydrated, Angela recommended pureed food and the  thick water.  I learned about thicker water in rehab – some people have trouble with liquid water and this is more of a slight gel type.  People seem to have an easier time swallowing it.  She also suggested Judy put a little sweet flavoring to help her drink it – Mom does love sweets.

Just as I feel I ave gotten on an even keel with Mom’s condition, something comes along to rock the boat and make me uncomfortable.  In my mind I know she will get worse, but when it actually happens, it’s like a slap in the face and real.   To think and see my strong, independent Mom not able to take care of herself is a sucker punch to my stomach.  I’m not sure how to handle it, I don’t have any experience fall back on.  It’s very hard to put into words, maybe because I am not sure what I am feeling.  I was so glad Char was there, she went through something similar with her mom.  She understands and I don’t have to explain it to her.  I am so glad we had an outing planned afterwards; if I had been alone, I would have gone back home and brooded about it as well as having a very uncomfortable husband.  Thank you Char for being there for me.

When I was at the Showcase both days, I was in a familiar world; I understood what people were saying and  I was part of it.  I was completely immersed in it – the rest of the world shut out.  I saw people I haven’t seen for a while as well as meeting people I only knew by email or phone.  Also interesting to see the new trends in promo products – so many tech for phones, iPads and computers.  I also saw something that gave me an idea about promoting my show – we’ll see what happens.

I’m putting on my radio show hat today to prepare for tomorrow, I ad libbed last week and it made me nervous.  I also have my wife/editor hat – we got Eddie’s newsletter out and also he is feeling so much better.

It will be interesting to see what this week brings.

Happy Butterflies!

September 15, 2014

It has come and gone this morning – I did my first radio show at 9:30.  I have been excited, apprehensive, impatient and so many other feelings.  Sometimes it felt as if it would never come and it was coming too fast – all at the same time.  The past three weeks I have been thinking about what I would say, then found myself ad libbing.  I had happy butterflies in my stomach – since fear and excitement feel the same, I chose to have excited, happy butterflies – they kept the downer butterflies from taking over.

I think I understand a bit what people mean when they prefer an audience because you can interact with them.  It was just Benny and me in the studio with a microphone in my face – no idea if there was any reaction.  A strange experience, so I will have to make sure I have notes with me next week.  All the things I had thought about saying were gone.  I talked a bit about my history, mentioned RA and also a bit about Mom and dementia as well as remembering to announce the name of the show, my name and where to find me.  I also remembered to mention twice about becoming a sponsor – that marketing is an investment, not a line item in the budget that can be jettisoned when things are tough .  I also remembered to say you are selfish if you don’t market, how are people who can benefit from what you offer find you?

I also met the three ladies who have the show before me – and now they are talking about ending their show after three years.  Everyone has been so friendly and helpful, I finally met Benny after some emails and hearing him for several years while I’ve listened to the station.  Interesting to say he is my producer.  It all feels a little unreal at the moment.  Mostly I am getting used to it and finding my rhythm.  I may try some phone calls in a week or two and see how that goes.  Then I will add guests – if I am comfortable doing the show, they will be.

After the break I was  trying to figure out what to say – a couple of giraffe moments but otherwise it was fine.  I asked people listening to send me a postcard or card to tell me who they are and where they are from – this station is in about 35 countries.  I haven’t wrapped my head around that one yet.  So it will be interesting to see if anything arrives by next Monday.  I had emails from Erik and talked to Brian, plus Benny sent me an email saying I did a great job – in all caps.

I have been feeling all kinds of emotions since I set this in motion – how amazing to find myself on the radio talking about my life with RA and other things.  Some it is just a feeling of unreality, that it is actually happening.  Because I was a bit nervous and had happy flutters, I sat quietly in the car when I arrived in the building where the studio is.  I sat quietly, took some deep breaths and asked the Universe to  give me what ever was necessary, I would just show up and get out of the way.  It turned out well and I am glad I did that before going upstairs.

I used to do that when I was doing speeches for the Conn. Chapter of the Arthritis Foundation.  I had a list of things I had to cover – basic facts of arthritis – and if time was short, I would jettison my stories.  I never knew who was in the audience and what they need to hear, so giving it to the Universe was the best way to go.  At times people come up to me and thank me or say they learned so much.  I also figured there were a lot of people who never said anything to me but heard what they needed at the time.  I’ve decided I have been doing my purpose in life without realizing it – much more effective that way.

I left the studio and went down to Kent to see Dr. Cheryl for my chiropractic adjustment.  A bit of a letdown – there was not any fanfare doing the show and then  they were on to the next show.  When I finished, I felt tired, so I came home and had a lie down – I must have slept because the next thing I knew, Eddie was home at 4.  It didn’t feel more than a half hour or 45 minutes.

We’ll see how it goes next week – Benny will be away and Taylor will be in the studio.  Lots of information and experience in a short time.

Dad Continued

September 14, 2014

Today is the 100th anniversary of Clayton Moore’s birthday – otherwise known as The Lone Ranger.  I remember watching it as a kid – I also named my stick horse Scout – Tonto’s horse.  Interesting how things this year have reminded me of my Dad.  I may not write about my Dad in chronological order, sometimes certain things come to mind that may be out-of-order.

I think my first memory was about 3 or 4 years old, in the Manhattan Beach house.  I have vague memories and pictures in my mind of chasing trains.  I remember being at the front closet to get coats and go see trains, where I have no idea.  My older sister Ellen might remember.  I also remember walking on the tracks with my sister and Dad – used to frustrate me no end that I kept slipping off but my sister walked the tracks with no trouble.  From my younger point of view, she always did things better than I did.

Family Feb 1954

February 1954 – I think it was taken at my Dad’s parents house in Palos Verdes

Ellen and I would play stick horses together, a long square stick that we tied thin rope at the top for reins.  At one point, Dad took his jigsaw and cut out heads to put at the top – mine was painted like Tonto’s Scout, can’t remember what Ellen had.  We enjoying playing with them, I know we played in the back yard but whether we went in the street I don’t remember.  Again, just pictures in my mind.  When Dad decided to accept a job with Boeing, we moved from Southern California to Seattle – for some reason Dad said we couldn’t take our stick horses – no room in the moving van, or something like that.  That made no sense to either of us, so we weren’t too happy about that.

Family on Drive

Back yard of Manhattan Beach house – to the right is the yard, to the left up the drive, a 2 car garage.

I was 7 when we moved about April of 1954, Ellen was 11.  My parents found a house to rent in Madrona and things suddenly changed.  I was in 2nd grade – turns out I went to school a year earlier than the other kids, so I was always a year younger during public school.  (Mom and Dad always told the story of how much fuss I made to get on the bus with Ellen, so they let me go at age 5 – turned out not to be a favor after all.)  I finished the last 2 months of 2nd grade and then went into 3rd grade.  I think Ellen was in 6th grade by then.

I remember one day in 1954, my Dad came home for lunch – very unusual for him.  Then he and Mom stood out on the back porch watching a plane fly by – what was the big deal about a plane?  It really was a big deal because it was the first flight of the 707 and beginning of the jet age.  It was many years later that I knew why it was a big deal.

When we moved to Seattle my sister Candy was about 18 months old and to us, a pest.  Certainly not her fault, but there was 6 years between us and 10 years between Candy and Ellen.  I also noticed Ellen wasn’t my playmate any more, by that time the 4 years difference was very noticeable.  I was on my own a lot, seems to have been my history.  She kept to herself more and I was probably a pest and nuisance by then.

A year and a half later, my parents found this house – it had all the requirements – a large lot, a view, 4 bedrooms; I never thought I would be living here since 2002 and it is now mine.  I now understand why my Mom wasn’t happy with the layout of the house, you have to go through the living room to get anywhere.  The front door opens smack dab into the living room – wonder if that is why everyone goes to the back door, or is it the path leads to the back porch?  Unfortunately she couldn’t explain it to Dad in a way he would understand.

At Christmas time we would go down to Chubby and Tubby for our Christmas tree.  The five of us would look around the lot and each found a tree – then we had to decide which one to buy.  It often seemed to me that the best tree was always the one someone else was holding.  We would choose one (sometimes one that needed the most love),  take it home and put it in a bucket of water at the bottom of the outside stairs.  It was usually a week before Christmas.  Then we put it up on Christmas Eve, decorate it with ornaments Mom and Dad had collected when they were first married, new ones and ones we made.  The cool thing was the next morning was Christmas.

One Christmas we put it up a week before Christmas, didn’t work out all that well.  Instead of Christmas coming the next morning, it seemed forever for it to come and I think we all  were a bit tired of the tree when it finally came.  So we went back to putting it up Christmas Eve and taking it down New Year’s Day.

I’m curious to know what my sisters’ memories are, if they are very different.  Funny how each person sees something, a person, or event at the same time and sees it differently.  I have been going through pictures and these two were ones I found.

Once again, to be continued.

All Abuzz

September 12, 2014

Nature tends to have thrown us a few curve balls in the last 12 years living here.  First it was furry creatures in the attic at least twice and the bug man came both times to spray in the attic and set traps.   I asked Brad to close up all the holes where they might enter.  2 years ago it was an invasion of carpenter ants,  same company, different fellow.  They haven’t shown up again since.   Now a new invasion, this time yellow jackets making a nest in the porch roof.  I had bought some wasp spray because the wasps like to make nests under the eaves of the porch roof.  It takes a few times, then they get the message.


They love to  use the corners for the nest.


There are  nice little corners on both sides of the eaves.

Unfortunately the yellow jackets were undeterred even though I sprayed a lot around the place they were going in.  Since they were inside, I couldn’t really reach them.  Lately there has been a soft crackle around that area.  Now I did my best to block up the hole with wood putty; those little buggers just ate through it and continued with business as usual.  I ran out of putty and have tried to think of something they couldn’t eat through.  They are certainly determined.  Then I saw them going in on the other side – I knew it was beyond my knowledge, experience and power to chuck them out permanently.


This is the corner the yellow jackets were going in.  You can see the putty and also where they had chewed through.


This is the other side of the porch, not as many went in there.


It was across the porch underneath that we heard the soft crackle.


Nacho sprayed all along the other side as well.

I called the bug people and Nacho, who took care of the mice, came and used his spray gun with a powder and sprayed it into the crack.  Man, you have never seen such cranky yellow jackets – there were as many trying to get out as trying to go in.  It didn’t seem a good time to be on the porch.  Things as quiet now, I think they are gone. or dead.  If I see any more, I will call him to come back.

I didn’t think to check the ground to see if there are corpses.  All I’m interested in is to see them gone.

The Week Barely Started

September 10, 2014

An interesting 3 days so far – not sure I can take the excitement.   Sorry, that wasn’t what I planned to write.    I was cleaning out on Monday , this time my Mom’s hooking stuff.   I had put on Craig’s List rug hooking magazines and another one with patterns and supplies.  Imagine how amazed I was when I had an email from a lady in Nova Scotia.  She is very interested in everything – though she seems to be thinking in terms of two large boxes to go through the mail.  Hmmm, this may be more than I bargained for.

 I have been figuring out what hooking stuff my Mom has – it is a lot more work than I realized.  I went through two under bed drawers and found some dyed samples of wool ready to hook.  Mom usually dyed them in 6, sometimes 8 values – she always enjoyed the dyeing part.  I’ve been online to see what is there and how I can price things – what Mom paid is a lot less than today, though her money went farther.  I also checked the Post Office, they ship by weight to Canada.  Hmmm, this is going to be an interesting  project.
I pulled out the things I found from when Dad was working before and during the war at aircraft companies, mostly in Southern California.  Eddie checked with the Boeing historian today to see if they are interested.  They were delighted with the items.   It’s lovely to know there is some of my Dad in the Boeing archives.  They are a welcome addition and I know they are in a good home.
 I also went through a box of my Mom’s things – a lot of gift cards for her graduation and I think it was a wedding shower.  There were letters from two hospitals saying she was set to work for them, letters from a couple of young men who had been at a dance when she was in Pratt.  One guy was from Yale.  A little bit different view of my Mom.  Still more places to clear out, no telling what I will find.  I am sending them to Candy so she can decide what to do with them.
Last week  more cleaning out, amazing what my Dad and Mom accumulated over the past 60 some years in this house.  I found 2 more photos in the original North American envelope for the Boeing archives.  Eddie made sure my Dad’s name shows as the donor.  I found books on cars that might go to the library the Car Museum is  creating.   I called the Center For Wooden Boats to see if they  take ship models and if they don’t, who would they recommend.  I think the guy is on holiday this week, I haven’t heard from him.  And paper of all kinds, my Dad kept calendar pictures and so did my Mom – Dad for Scottish history and Mom for flower ideas for her rugs.  It doesn’t look all that different, I just know I made a small difference.

Friday I went to see Mom, she is usually dozy because of meds.  Judy tells me she forgets what’s she’s doing, so she needs to be reminded to continue.  I have noticed that lately.  I give her a piece of chocolate and she is enthusiastic, but doesn’t always finish it unless I ask if she is ready for more.  She doesn’t like anyone to touch, especially when it comes to taking care of her.  I now ask her if I can give her a hug, I mostly get an enthusiastic yes, but not always.  You’re not kidding this is the hardest part.
I had a call from Didi last night – Mom had fallen and hit her head.  She called Providence to let them know, she was going in for her regular day.  I went to visit her this morning, she had a couple of large scabs on her right temple and her upper eyelid was bruised.   Mom was fighting them as they were trying to get her washed and dressed.   I asked Judy if she remembered falling, but Judy doesn’t think so.  Mom was a bit sleepy today, probably not too surprising after her fall.  She ate the cookies while I read to her, but wasn’t interested in the chocolate.  She would have it later.
Eddie and I went out for a bit to have coffee and look around the bookstore.  We came home and I found an email message from the station manager, they wanted my phone number because they needed to talk with me.  so I emailed back and shortly after, they called.  Seems he was a little mixed up on days – 9:30 isn’t open on Tuesday after all.  He does have Monday at the same time and he wanted to know if that would be all right.  Plus, he would air my show twice a week for the month of October as an “I’m sorry”.  It will be a repeat of the Monday show.  I will admit I am disappointed, but I just decided there is a reason why it is working out the way it is – no idea why but I am starting this Monday on the 15th.  Anyway, we’ll see how it goes and maybe when I am ready for an hour show, there will be a different time slot.
My life certainly isn’t dull.

About My Dad

September 7, 2014

I was watching Sunday Morning on CBS earlier and they were talking about the anniversary of the death of Archduke Ferdinand of Austria as the beginning of WWI in 1914.  That made me think of Dad, he would have been 100 last march.  I realized I have a list of things to write about him, especially since my sister wanted to hear things about him she didn’t know.

I remember when his parents came up to visit from California – Grandmother slept in my bed and Grandfather in Candy’s room.  Ellen had her room downstairs in the basement and Candy & I slept in the rec room.  I remember going upstairs to kitchen early in the morning and sharing tea with Grandmother while she told me stories about Dad.   I’ve always wished I could have known her better, but she died when I was 14 – those early mornings were special to me.  I wish I had written down the stories at the time, I’m having trouble remembering them.  I know she talked about the time  the kitchen porch roof caught fire, not sure what started it.

She had a very nice apartment in Buffalo when she and grandfather were married.  Shortly after she had her first baby, Grandfather and her sister Elizabeth went out and bought a farm in Orchard Park – then present it to Grandmother.  The problem was that it has no electricity, running water or any amenities – not the best place to have a new baby.  She was left alone with the handyman during day while my Grandfather went into Buffalo to his Interior Decorating studio.  Eventually they had running water and electricity – by then my Dad’s other sister Emmie was born and then Dad.

In 1926 Grandmother went out to visit her brother in Southern California – he was building houses in Palos Verdes at the time.  There weren’t too many but there was a committee that had to approve the plans.  They wanted only old style Spanish houses, red tile and stucco.   So her brother was building them and Grandmother decided she wanted to move there.  So she wrote Grandfather to come out and see what it was like.  Unfortunately, the day he arrived on the train, it was pouring rain.  However, he agreed to move there and he would help with the interior decoding of the new houses.  He used fine draperies, oriental rugs and antiques in his designs.  He would have his studio in Malaga Cove Center.

So back they went to Buffalo and packed up three kids, Gertie and all they could carry in two cars and drove across country to California.  My Dad was about 12 or 14 at the time, the youngest child.  He remember he was in the car with his dad and sisters and they stopped somewhere. There was a river and one of sisters nearly drown – I doubt they said anything to Grandmother.

They made it to California all in ne piece and Grandfather bought an old Spanish style house near the golf course in Palos Verdes.  My Dad and his sisters went to Palos Verdes High School and Dad had made a lot of friends.  Some were a little shady but Dad was not about to be talked into anything he didn’t want to do.  He couldn’t be shady or do illegal stuff if his life depended on it.  He used to work at the swim club as a lifeguard and in his high school annual, several girls wrote “To the Dancing Sheik” – he had a slow easy way of dancing the girls loved.  How odd he and my Mom were never able to dance together – haven’t figured that out or thought it smart to ask.

He loved cars and dance music, his mother  wondered if he would ever share her love of classical music.  He told me one day that he heard a piece and it clicked with him and he was a classical music lover forever after.   He still enjoyed dance bands and other kinds of music – I’ sure his mom was delighted to see how much he enjoyed classical music.  He used to say that when Grandmother bought a gift for Grandfather, she would buy a piece she loved.

He spent a lot of time with his guy friends and working on cars, he did know a rum runner in those days but I don’t know if he ever went out with Dick or not.  In the late 30’s before he went into the aircraft industry, he worked for Dick building boats in Wilmington, Calif.  It was by the water and one day he dropped a tool into the water.  He didn’t really want to tell Dick he had lost a tool, but he knew he had to anyway.  When told Dick and apologized, Dick told him”I’m so glad you told me, none of the other guys ever tell me”.    That has always stuck with me.

In 1941, Dad went back east to visit with an uncle and ended up getting a job at Pratt & Whitney in East Hartford, Conn.   He rented a room from a woman who lived in Glastonbury and she just happened to live next door to my Mom’s grandmother.  Mom had seen him but hadn’t been introduced, but the families arranged a blind date for them.  Dad once told me neither of them asked the other marry, they just assumed they were getting married.  Three months later, Dad went to her father and said he wanted to marry his daughter.  Grandfather Sherman told him  “Go back to California and establish yourself.  If in three months you still feel the same, I will give my permission.

In Late December of 1941, just after Pearl Harbor, Mom went to California.  her family thought she was crazy, the Japanese were going to invade California.  Only one aunt supported her and Mom often said it took all her courage to fly  to California by herself.


To be continued  . . . . . . . . . . .


Life With A Loaner

August 31, 2014

I have been driving a loaner car from Younker Nissan for a week now – they think my transmission should be here this coming Wednesday.    Before, they said a week – as long as I have a car to drive, it’s fine.  I made sure I have my sticker and garage opener, I have no desire to be running around the garage every time I go in or out.  I did that once before and it wasn’t a lot of fun.

Younker Nissan has been very good to us, I would recommend the dealership to anyone – they aren’t pouncers.  They are friendly and they take care  of my care very well.  The dealer we bought it was the same way, but they went of business the people who took over make me uncomfortable.  Now that we are established with Younker, it feels like going to visit friends when we take it in for service.


They gave me a Versa, so it is very familiar – very much like mine.  It has some quirks I have to adjust to – like doors that lock when I put it in gear and a hatchback type trunk.  Mine is a four door sedan with electronic locks, this one I have to use a key.  That means I put it in my purse and then hit the lock button on the door, then check my purse to be sure the key is in my purse before I shut the door.

This one also doesn’t have the oomph mine has, so when I accelerate from a freeway entrance, I don’t move as fast as mine.  However, the drawback to lots of pep is that I want to go fast.  I notice the cops frown on that and give tickets to discourage going too fast.  Bummer!  Fortunately it is white like mine, I would have a little more trouble finding it if it was another color.  I usually drive my car and when I am with Eddie in his Volvo, I keep looking for my white Versa.  Then I am brought up short because we’re in a silver Volvo V70.  Good thing Eddie is with me, he always finds it.

I had to tune the radio to the stations I like, but crossed myself up when I hit the CD button and nothing was there.  I forgot I wasn’t  in my car and couldn’t understand why Rachmaninoff’s  2nd piano concerto didn’t start playing.  The other thing I forgot from my car was my collection of  shopping bags.  However, in my line of work, I am never at a loss for bags.  I easily found 3 to put in the back in case I need them.  I am the only one authorized to drive it, so if we go anywhere together, Eddie drives his Volvo – a real hardship on him.  He loves that wagon and enjoys it when people admire it or ask about it.


I must admit, I am still surprised to see the car when I am in a parking lot.  It has a hatchback and more square than mine.  It is comfortable to drive, except when some idiot parks so close to me I have a terrible time getting into it.  That would be true for any car.  I was at the library and parked close to the wall so I could get in and out of the car.  When I came back, that car left and another one was parked – way over in my space.  I was able to get in, all except my left leg.  It’s also the one that doesn’t bend very well.  I found myself lying across the front seat, the emergency brake and seat belt locks under my tush and very uncomfortable.  I wasn’t sure I was going to make it all the way in; thank goodness I only have 2 legs.  What if I were a centipede, I wouldn’t know which leg to start with, much less get them all inside the car.  I finally made it, with no small effort.  Good to know I could do it,, just don’t want to have to again.

I will be glad to have my own car back soon.  Until then, I will enjoy driving this one with all its quirks.  It’s a good size and I find easy for me to drive.  I certainly appreciate that they gave me one similar to mine, rather than a different model.  Mine is a 2007 and this one is a 2012, it no doubt has updated bells and whistles mine doesn’t have.  That’s fine with me, the more bells and whistles, the more things to go wrong.  Give me a basic with power steering and I am fine.

A new week beginning as well as a new month, all kinds of adventures and waiting for me.  Sometimes I surprise myself, other times I am surprised by what seem to be outside events.  These days, I tend to think they are all connected, just not necessarily obviously so.


I Am Official!!!!!!!!

August 29, 2014

I am now officially a radio host for KKNW, Alternative Talk Radio.  I signed a 1 year contract yesterday for a 30 minute talk show on Tuesdays at 9:30.  It will start on September 16th and is called Finding The Gifts.  In some ways it is exciting and also a little unreal.  I have never done this before, it is truly a leap of faith because at the moment I don’t have any sponsors to pay for the air time.  I am feeling calm and at peace at the moment, watching with curiosity as it unfolds.  My show starts on September 16th and it can be heard on the internet, iTunes, and you can also download an app for iPad and iPhone.  I don’t think it has quite penetrated that it is heard globally, not just here in Washington and the U.S.

1150 KKNW_logo

I am to meet with the engineer for the show, Benny, in the next couple of weeks to find out how it works in the studio.  I am planning for the first 2 shows at least as a learning experience, seeing how things work the timing, how to break up the time for show and commercials.  A lot to learn but I see it as having fun – better to see those butterflies as excitement rather than fear.  They both feel the same way and I can choose which it will be.

It’s been an interesting week, Tuesday I put a spanner in my own works – I thought I was to see my primary doc this morning and do my infusion on Thursday.  Turns out I mixed them up and still was able to do both.  I was concerned about driving into Seattle to the Polyclinic, the viaduct was closed and I figured people were trying to find ways around.  What a delight to find there wasn’t traffic either going down 4th Ave and later on I-5 south.  It worked out quite well.

Wednesday I picked up Melanie to take her to Breakfast Club – she moved about 2 years ago to Las Vegas and it was a delight to see her.  She makes me laughs, I learn so much from her and we have a great time.  After Breakfast  Club, we went to have coffee and catch up on what each has been doing.  She is edited about my show and has had experience in radio.  Also, if I need guests, she knows a lot of people.  Time went by much too fast, she was having lunch with her stepmother, so I dropped her back at her sister’s at 12:30.  Melanie is such a tonic for me and I had a wonderful time with her.

I had an email from the radio station, they are delighted I am joining the family – I am meeting them on Thursday for all the details and probably signing a year contract.  In some ways it isn’t quite real, in other ways it is.  I told the doc about it and he was pleased for me.   I came home around 1 and was tired.  I had a banana and then Eddie came home and we had some lunch.  Then I had a nap for about 2 or 3 hours – I’m still a bit draggy, so I am hoping a night’s sleep will help.

  I  am working on an update on my business website – I feel as if I have been floundering try to understand and visualize it.  They sent me a mock-up for the new site but it seemed so bland, yet I could describe what it needed.  Then spent the last few weeks playing email tag with Chris, the designer.  Finally we connected and talked on Friday, makes a big difference to say it than write it.  He suggested I look at other sites for ones I like, so I was checking out website templates on Friday and Sunday.  After a while on Sunday, I was bug-eyed, my mind had gone into neutral and my eyes glazed over.  But I found things that I liked and was ready for him when we talked at noon on Monday.  I felt as if we were on the same wave length and I had a better idea and understanding about the site.
I had bought an app called Wordify that takes a silhouette and makes the shape using the words I type in.  It is fun and I have learned a lot about it – I found that I can click the triangle to Wordify it, then click it again and it is entirely different.  I can do random, so the words are vertical and horizontal, or all horizontal or all vertical.  There are all kinds of fonts, but clicking the box Surprise Me puts the words in all kinds of fonts and sizes.    The I spent a lot of time going bug-eyed looking for photos for the top part of the site when I click on the icons.
Wordify-2014-08-18 20-42-24
 After all the cleaning out last week, I took Saturday off completely.  I find myself sleepy in the afternoon- Saturday I had a nap and felt better when I got up.  I do have a calendar with things I am doing – tomorrow I am going to the radio station to talk about sponsors and how to structure the offers.  Then they will help me with suggestions for approaching possible sponsors.  I have also been thinking a lot about the show, who I would invite as guests as well as working on a website for the show.
I went to see mom Monday and today, she seems quite sleepy a lot of the time.  The meds are to help her anxiety and the doc wants to keep her on them because if they cut back, she will be animus.   She is comfortable as long as no one touches her, when they do, she gets feisty.  Judy told me today that because her knee hurts, she has trouble standing and is reluctant to do it.
This may seem a little disjointed, I feel a bit that way.  A lot of changes are going on for me and also for Eddie, no telling what will happen next.  It is so good

Life Is Full Of Surprises

August 24, 2014

Yesterday we took my Versa in for service, about 1000 before the 89,000 service.   I noticed a thumpity when I was going very slowly about a week or two ago.  Not very noticeable at first, but this week it was much more pronounced.  I had asked Eddie if he noticed anything, just to sure I wasn’t imagining it.  He noticed it too and I have to admit, it made me uneasy.  So we went in Saturday to do the service and have them check it out.  Later  we had a phone call to tell us the transmission gave out.  The CVT valve was being chewed up, they found bits of metal in the oil pan.   I couldn’t have times it better if I’d planned it.  So now I have a loaner car, another Versa but a little different.  They said it would be at least a week for the new (remanufactured) transmission to come.  Fortunately they had extended the warranty for it, so it won’t cost us anything.

I saw my Mom Friday and she was a little more alert, but after she had the chocolate, she started dozing.  She managed one cookie but seemed very sleepy, so I left the other two for an afternoon snack.  I didn’t stay that long because I had a lunch date with my close friend Kathie Brody, we haven’t done anything for several months because we were both busy.  I emailed her to see how she was doing and she had been gallivanting to Italy, New Orleans and not sure where else.  However, the past 2 or 3 weeks she has been taking care of Suburu, her cat.    As she put it:

Himself has been very sick and I thought I was going to lose him a couple of weeks ago.  He’s still thinking about it but for the moment he has decided to stay. The doc said he has very high blood pressure so I give him a pill and cream every day (the cream was my idea, not the vet’s!) and she also said maybe a little piece of cartilage has broken loose on his spine and floated down and lodged so he doesn’t know where his hind end is.  He can no longer jump up on my lap or his chair, even his low throne.  Poor baby.  He is very quiet…so I think he is making up his mind.  I know why he came into my life all those years ago (17, I can hardly believe it) which was to teach me how to love again.  Now that I am taking the classes with my Shaman and living consciously and opening up my heart, I am wondering if he is thinking his job is done.  If I hold on to him too long then he can’t go help someone else, but … it is a tough decision.  I hope he makes it for me.  At the moment he does not appear to be in pain. His meowing is very quiet and his purring motor is very quiet, but it still works. He vomits a few mornings a week but often he is polite enough to do it on the hardwood floor.  So I am pretty worried about him and haven’t come to grips with it yet.


Kathy sent me this when I had asked for a healing from a difficult situation.

I asked Kathie about him as we were saying good-bye, she said he is not in pain, is fine but very quiet.  So she is just waiting to see what he decides.  Still brings tears to my eyes when I think about him – he has been a very special cat for me.  We really haven’t met face to face, he is usually upstairs sleeping when I go to her home.  But he has given me several messages over the past  years and apparently does only for me.  She says when I call or email, he always knows and comes into her lap, he only does it with me.  I am very flattered and appreciative.

We had a delightful lunch at Queen Mary Tearoom.  We had a lovely lunch, though both of us looked for a lighter meal.  They have a wonderful phyllo dough pastry dish with cheese and not sure what else that is wonderful.  Now I find something like that feels too heavy, so I tried their Bacon Leek Quiche and it was very good.  They had a green salad and a lot of wonderful fruits; I was comfortably full but didn’t feel I ate too much.  We talked about what she has been doing, what I’ve been doing as well as having fun with the waitress.  They are so friendly and welcoming there, they had a new one on her first day, so we had fun with her as well.  I always think I am going to try a different tea but find I go back to Creamy Earl Grey.  It was a beautiful day, in the 70’s – my kind of weather.  We are not going to let so much time go by before getting together again.

Thursday I had a meeting at the radio station about my show.  They have an opening at 9:30 on Tuesday morning – Erik thinks my show would do well on Tuesday or Wednesday.  I don’t have a sponsor signed up yet, but everything has lined up so well and so easily that it’s time to put up or shut up.  It was a little scary but also exciting – I had to decide if I was going to take a risk and make the leap of faith or not.  I had read somewhere that until one commits, things don’t appear.  I think of Moses and the Red Sea – I always thought the water just parted and they went across.  Turns out they had to start walking into the water before it parted.  I thought about it and when I told Eddie I wanted to do this, it is very important to me, he said “Go for it”.  I decided on Friday I was going to do it – I sent an email to Brian and Erik to get the show on the road.  However, they won’t get it until Monday and I am not sure how long it will take for them to respond.

I have been thinking a lot about the show, who I would invite as guests, what to talk about as well as sponsors, a web site  – it will be interesting to see how it develops and how it all works.  It’s a big step, I will be signing a contract for a year.  I was so pleased that both Erik and Brian really like my idea and concept, also the name Finding The Gifts.  I didn’t want to use Gift of RA because it felt too confining and specific, this way it can expand and extend into other areas.  One will be dealing with My Mom’s dementia, something a lot of people are now dealing with.  I will also talk about dealing with a chronic illness because although illness may be different, there are some basic things  we have in common.

It’s been an interesting week, up and downs and a lot of surprises.  I am pleased to find I have had more energy and accomplished a lot of things I have been meaning to do.  It also has been tiring and I have been sleeping with my bunny in my arms, she helps me go to sleep more easily at night.  I also registered for my 50th high school reunion on Sept. 27th – it’s going to be fun and interesting.


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